BOOM!

That was the one word exclamation point that the WIN Financial pitcher dropped loudly on the Bad Gnus in the top of the 7th inning Monday night as soon as he hit it. It exemplified just about everything about that game. That ball was absolutely smoked. It flew well over Howard's head. WIN hit more balls hard than I have ever seen at Arden Park. Not since Clayton took a knee to the groin during a Concert in the Park have balls been struck so squarely in this neighborhood.

But more telling, who yells"Boom!" when they hit the ball? A tool, that's who. This team is an all-star team of douchebaggery. There are so many things about them that I dislike. I don't mean that from the grouchy old man vista that I currently peer the world through. Bros like this have existed since the beginning of time. I've hated these clowns all my life.

WIN F is a perfect charicature of the 21st Century Bro. Sleeveless shirts? Check. Tattoos? Check. Backward hats? Check. Soul patches? Check? Raised pick up trucks? Check. One of my favorite moments of WIN-hating for me was watching two of them drive off in the raised-up, huge pick up trucks that hid their infant-sized twig and berries. If I had to guess what these knuckleheads drove around in, I would've said Hummer, but this would have been a close second. I didn't get a close enough look, but I bet there was a Nor Cal sticker in the window that replaced the Calvin pissing window sticker that was the Bro sticker for the 90's. I also enjoyed watching one of their gals wearing high heels and smoking a cig down the first base line while watching her man perform. She had to leave early, surely to get a good spot on the pole that evening. Can't wait till all the big tippers leave, can you Kayli.

About the game, it was a suck sandwich. The Bad Gnus stranded runner after runner in the first four innings. After a slow start to the WIN F bats, they started running Howard and Keith all over the tennis courts. The score was 15-2 after 4 innings. The game did seem to be over. However, the Bad Gnus always are a threat to run off a Bad Gnus inning. They put together two straight solid innings as everyone was getting on base up and down the order. After 6 innings, the score was 15-12.

There's actually a bit more to that. Looking back, some bad coaching may have hurt our chances. It was with two outs in the 5th with a runner on third, down 15-12 when the umpire said there was less than a minute left. I told Stuart to just swing at the first pitch where ever it was. If he got on and scored the run from third, we go for the win. If he gets out, we get another inning. Stuart has been pretty automatic this year with the bat and I should have had him take his time, do his thing and try to win it there. Stuart flew out, giving us another inning. That didn't turn out so well. WIN F punished the ball in the 7th, turning the game into a 24-12 route. So much for our streak of one run losses.

The Arden Park drug testing results have been returned. Surpisingly, only 3 WIN F players had artificial testosterone in their system. However, 7 had traces of Red Bull, 6 had evidence of Valtrex, 3 have been hitting the hippie lettuce and 1 had GHB. Must've had a sip of his date's vodka-cran the previous night. On the other side of the fence, the Bad Gnus has 10 with readable BAC's, 2 people with evidence of FloMax in the system and 1 with some nasty, gluten free beer in his system.

Next up, we welcome the newest team to the park. The generic "Softball Team". I might not have much to say there. Check back and find out.

Daddy Wins!

We have one more guest blogger this week. It is Kyle McDaniel, the son of the first guest blogger. Kyle is an adorable boy that will be going into the second grade next year. Kyle tore up T-Ball this spring and can't wait to get to the pitching machines next year. Here's what Kyle had to say...

Hi. I'm Kyle. Mr. Maves asked me to tell you about the Bad Gnus game from the other day. Here goes... Daddy and his friends took the field wearing their pretty, colorful shirts. I remember, one time, me and Scotty were at camp and we got to dip our shirts in all these colors. It was fun and messy! My sister, Karly told me not to dare get near her when I tried to give her a hug. She goes to Arden. When I get to be a big kid, I'm going to go to Arden too. Oh, Ok. Mr. Maves just said to get back to the game...

Daddy and his friends were doing very well but it was weird. They were playing a bunch of grandpas. I love my Grandpa! He has a big house and we watch television together. Sometimes he gives me candy. Sometimes he shows me pictures of Daddy when he was a little guy like me. One time Grandpa and me went on a long walk and he told me about what Daddy was like when he was my age. Ok, Mr. Maves, I'll tell you what else happened at the game...

I think the Bad Gnus won the game. My Daddy made a great play on defense and he hit a ball reeeeeeall far when he got to bat. My Daddy is the best player on the team! All the Bad Gnus were loud and laughing after the game. That big kid wasn't there to open all their sodas. I asked Karly when she thought we might go home. I don't think she heard me. She was busy texting. She has the coolest phone. It does a bunch of stuff and she puts all these fun ringtones on it. She told me if she catches me with it again she's going to chop my body up in little pieces and bury me all over the city. She gets lots of important phone calls. She said I can't be within 100 feet anytime she is talking on the phone. My sister is the awesomest! I can't wait until I have so many friends with so many important things to talk about. What's that, Mr. Maves? You sure you don't want me to tell you what else happened? Okey dokie. After while, Crocodile!

Bad Gnus Advance

The Bad Gnus took care of business and dominated Don't Panic, the Southwest Idaho State of the tourneyment, to set up a huge grduge match on Monday! Ahern has had their way with the Bad Gnus over the years, but this year they needed a late rally to get by the rejuvinated Gnus. Can't wait for the rematch. Since I was off watching my kin in some playoff baseball of their own, I missed the beat down, but guest blogger, Seanny Mac is in the house to tell you fools how it all went down. Here's his report...

There was a certain electricity in the Gnus dugout knowing it was a "win or go home" situation. Players could be heard humming "This Is It" by Kenny Loggins and commitments were quietly made among the bench that somebody would bring beer next week if we won this week.

As far as the game goes, it was a textbook game against the Don't Panic squad. A string of hits by us along with a bunch of bungled plays by them led to four to six runs per inning. Howard and Clayton seemed to be out running the bases quite a bit from what I remember, so I'd say they were the offensive stars.

Defensive was the strong suit for the Gnus once again. Couple of shoestring catches in the outfield along with some sweet middle infield double plays kept the Panic in their dugout loading their post game bongs. Indication of how badly we were placing whoop ass on them came when Seanny Mac actually played 3rd base for 2 innings. Out of risk of sounding like a blow hard I won't tell you about the backhanded stab at the line and whirling blind throw I made to punch out the runner at 2nd to snuff out what was the Panic's strongest attempt at a rally to get 2 runners on base in the same inning. But I digress.

In the end, the Gnus survived the play-in game coming out on top by about 20 or so runs. At the post game press conference (errr- beer under the tree) Gnus could be heard quoting Jim Mora, exclaiming "Playoffs?...Playoffs!...PLayoffs?" And there was much rejoicing.

Dog Sexy

Hello! I would like to introduce myself. I am Dog Sexy and I'm latest addition to the Maves family. After the failed adoption of Phuc Yu and Phuc Mi a couple years back on April Fools Day, Mike and Anna actually brought a new member of the family in - me!

I was living large! I was living in the country, chasing squirrels and wrestling with my 5 brothers. One day, all these people came in and played with me and my brothers. It was a good time. Next thing I know, I'm trapped in a car listening to Green Day for an hour and a half.

Once I got to the big city, I was called all sorts of things. I was Lucky for an hour. Then I was Digger for a half an hour. I was Sherlock for a while. I didn't like the hat and pipe they kept sticking in my mouth. Trust me, you don't want to stick anything in there unless you want my floppy mouth and little teeth to slobber all of it. I refused that name after I found out that was going to be my last name. My first name was No and my middle name sounded something like Sit. It didn't seem right how much laughter my masters got by saying my name and they wouldn't say it in front of all my little masters. They finally settled on Murphy but I'm not wearing that Cubs hat anymore. I'll chew it up I see it again.

By the way, how many little masters are there is this place? Every time I turn around there's a new one picking me up or playing with my fat feet. I thought I forgot to walk one day.

As you can see from my picture, I've got quite a long hangdown. You ladies didn't need to say that... I've got one on the other side of my head too. They are very useful for retaining water when I leave the water bowl. This pup gets thirsty! But let me tell you something about these long ears, I can hear everything! Everything is so noisy in my new life. Can't everyone just quiet down for a tick tock? I feel like I'm in a Sam Raimi movie. Every 60 seconds, I'm jumping out of my extra skin.

Anyway, after a week, I'm really settling in nicely. I really like this big yellow horse I'm living with. There's still so much more trouble to get into around here. So many toys left on the floor. So much floor that needs to be marked. So many places under the fence I can sneak through. Hope to see you guys out at the ballfield soon. Do your dawg a favor and leave a mitt laying around, will ya?

Summer Schedule!

UPDATED 6/23/09!!!

We're rolling with the punches here at the Bad Gnus International Headquarters. Arden Park has become a popular destination for softball teams. This has encouraged the powers that be to move to two leagues, one on Monday one on Tuesday. I was hoping to see where all the cool teams were going to play and play on that night. Next thing I know, there are two open spots on Monday for three returning teams and Tuesday is booked. Luckily, I got my shhh-act together in time to get us in the Monday league. The Silver Bullets did not! That sucks for them.

Here's the schedule. All games on Mondays. Let me know if there are any games you will miss based on your busy vacation schedules.

6/22 7:00 vs. Win Financial

6/29 BYE

7/06 6:00 vs. Softball Team (new team in town)

7/13 6:00 vs. Hanks

7/20 BYE - Good week to play vacation!

7/27 7:00 vs. Silver Bullets

8/03 7:00 vs. T-Sox

8/10 BYE

8/17 6:00 vs. Hanks

8/24 7:00 vs. T-Sox

8/31 6:00 vs. Silver Bullets

9/07 5:45 vs. WIN F (It's Labor Day! Also note time shift)

9/14 BYE

9/21 5:30 vs. Softball Team

9/28 BYE (Seriously!)

YAWN... Gnus Lose a Thriller 1-0

Actually, I did think this game was exciting and it was certainly too quick for a nap. 35 minutes to play 8 innings! Sure, the Bad Gnus lost 1-0 in 8 innings. Not scoring yet making 24 outs against a 75 year old man who is throwing a ball underhand sounds a lot worse than it is. The Hanks have long been a powerhouse at Arden Park. And by long, I mean back when you had to take a ferry across the American River to shuttle your carriage to New Sutter Town south of the river. Nowadays, we can take our fancy motor cars on a bridge at 55 mph (or 10 mph depending on the time of day) but the Hanks still compete for the championship each year.

The Bad Gnus had several hits, they just were never in bunches. There was a runner every inning. The best chance was in the 7th. Teddy Ballgame took a walk! I couldn't believe it myself. When he was trotting down to first I didn't know if he was hit by the pitch or if there was catcher's interference. A walk didn't immediately compute. That was followed by a hit by Greg to put two runners on, no one out and the top of the order coming up. Unforturnately, The Gnus were not able to convert. Throughout the game, many balls were struck well but ended up in the leathery old mitts held by leathery old hands. I keed, I keed. Those guys can pick it!

On the other side of the ball, those Bad Gnus also put on an impressive display of fielding. The defensive lock down they put on was even more impressive considering three Gnus committed to play but didn't show. WTF?! Teen Sexy came off the bench and played catcher wearing tennis shoes and using Erik's son's old baseball glove. That left a three person outfield against a team that usually puts up 20 runs on the Gnus. I can't even remember all of the spectacular plays. The Pyramid Defense Play of the Day was John's super sliding catch in centerfield. It was beautiful. All three of the outfielders were chasing down balls all over the field. Adding to that was the double play combo of Kirk and Tuesday Ted. Both made slick plays all game long. It was the best D I've ever seen from the swirling blue of the Gnus.

The lone run of the game was the result of a triple that one of the older guys on the Hanks yanked over John's head for a one out triple. Dude was flying around the bases! Those couldn't have been his original hips. But holding the Hanks to one run with three outfielders was a very impressive feat. Good job, Bad Gnus!

Newcastle Player of the Game, goes to Ted. As mentioned, he took a walk for the team to try to ignite a rally and make several nice plays at shortstop. He also made a big heads up play. When Barry Bonds strode to the plate he went from Shortstop to the deepest of Right-Centerfield in an extreme shift. He had him played perfectly and turned his blast into a 300 foot out. He went on to make the next two outs in the inning as well. Excellent game Ted. Enjoy the rockin' taste of a smooth Newcastle on me.

Gnus in the News

If you were to hear that a Bad Gnus player was prominently listed in the Sacramento Bee, you'd probably learn his middle name and his plea at his arraignment. Not so fast! Kirk Giberson's son Zach has a huge spread surrounding his musical abilities and accomplishments. Kirk should be very proud. Zack is a very talented musician and has a bright future. He is also a very nice guy. The article seems to give a large amount of the credit to his parents. Zach's mom must be very musically gifted!

http://www.sacbee.com/159/story/1890468.html


I would like to say that Jack Maves' parents deserve a lot of credit for his musical abilities on Guitar Hero. That boy can shred Through the Fire and Flames. Sadly, Green, Red, Blue, Green, Green is the only music I can read.

I know it has been a long time since this blog has made any noise. It's been a very busy time with little league, Anna's Birthday and the height of school work of the year. I hope to bore you with tales of the Gnus more frequently over the summer.

From what I hear, last week the Bad Gnus took it out on the poor guys on Don't Panic with something like a 24-3 beat down. That came after a big loss (18-11) to the new team in the park. The Bears. There is a bit of a discussion about The Bears. From all outside appearances they may be the boyfriends of all the girls that work at Beach Hut Deli. They had Beach Hut Deli shirts, many were very athletic while others are probably good conversationalists and most looked like they are worried about the upcoming finals at Sac State.

The wild card was their older, burly pitcher. He was bald, but had a beard and looks like he could be kept warm shirtless in the winter with his rich coat of man hair. I had somehow made it to 41 1/2 years old without hearing of the subset of the homosexual culture called Bears. I'm not going to mention him by name but one Gnu who was prominently mentioned earlier in this post told me about this group. I'm afraid to google it (nor will I google "Gay Divers", Pete), but apparently Bears refer to gay men who like their love interests to resemble the aforementioned pitcher. The pitcher was the only player to use the team name during the game, but I heard the pitcher repeatedly urge on the Bears while using such verbs as pound, slap and fondle. Needless to say, I went home after the game showered, shaved off my beard and waxed my back.

Coming up, the Gnus will have a chance to go back to back as they will play both June 1 and June 2. Make sure to stretch, boys!

Here are my shots from Gnus around the world. Pete "forgot" his Gnus shirt. I'm not buying it. Either way, we had a great time in Paris and London for Anna's 40th. Here's me with Notre Dame and Big Ben.

Bad Gnus, It's Last Calling

My problem with the new Ahern team name isn't that I dislike name changes. Though Candlestick will always be Candlestick and not 3Com and Teen Sexy will always be Matthew and not Matt. Last Call will always be Ahern to me. And that's not just when Bob Ahern plays on the shortstop side of second base when I weekly fly out to left.

My problem with the name "Last Call" is not that it can mean several different things. I'm a big fan of that kinda scene... It's that none of the ways it can be meant are happy. All of them suck.

The obvious "Last Call" is the kind at a bar. That ALWAYS sucks. I'm never happy about that. That's then followed by the lights coming on in the s-hole bar that I'm in and nobody needs to see the walls or the people there is good light. You can also say it has a baseball connotation, but the Last Call of a ball game is always the last out. I like playing softball. I'm not looking for the game to end and I certainly don't want it to be because our umpire needs to get to The Pink Triangle before happy hour ends. It could also mean it's the last time someone calls you. Unless you are talking about my alma mater always trying to suck another nickle out of me, people don't call me unless I like them. I don't want to think about a phone call being the last time I'm going to talk to someone.

I like the guys on Ahern. I don't think they suck at all. So I cannot find good vibes with that negative name. I don't want to think negative thoughts when I think of the Ahern name. We here at the Bad Gnus Name Generator have developed several new team names for them to try out.

a. B Diddy and the Funkybunch

b. Rural Jurors

c. Off Regularly (So I can have a headline of Bad Gnus Beat Off Regulary)

d. The Upper Deckers

e. If You Seek Amy

All of those make me smile. That's all I'm looking for in a team name when I think of my second favorite (a very distant second) Arden Park softball team.

Anywho, on to the game. Last year Ahern beat the Bad Gnus handlely a couple times. This year's Bad Gnus squad was out to keep this one close. We had several Gnus for the first time this season and we were missing the automatic hits Triple H always provides. So our offense was bound to struggle. And this reporter feels like he has some food poisioning from Tre on Saturday. (You can't be hung over for two days can you?)

This was a defensive stand-off. With the Bad Gnus playing very solid defense behind Greg's excellent pitching. With Erik Grotte providing all of the offense for the Gnus, they held a 3-1 lead going into the 6th inning. With two outs and nobody on, both Kirk and the Big Sexy missed relatively easy catches on line drives to put two runners on. Both of them had many several plays during the game to anchor the solid defensive effort. That was followed by a run scoring single to cut the lead to 3-2. The Bad Gnus failed to score going into the 7th, where GT hit a blooping, 2 run single to right to give Ahern the lead for the first time since the top of first inning.

The Bad Gnus had one more shot as John led off the inning with a solid single but another spectacular play by Masterlock Defensive Player of the Game, Eddie Shaldone, turned a hard hit ball into a double play. The Gnus were unable to score and lost their 2nd game of the year in the 7th inning, this time 4-3.

This is the first time that a player on another team has taken a post game award from the Bad Gnus, but Eddie deserved it. He made several super plays at third base taking away multiple hits. It didn't help that he brought his own cheering section. All of the future Good Gnus were hanging out playing wiffleball and couldn't give a spit about how their old men were doing on the field. Eddie's little league team was over their whooping it up. I know I've coached a couple of those kids before and I think they might have been booing me.

Eddie edged out Bill who made a great turn on a 5-3-2 double play at a key time of the game, made a tough throw from the third baseman look like a simple play and made a most indescribable catch. You really had to see the twisting body, flailing arms and dizzying route Bill took to the pop up behind first base to appreciate it. It was a very difficult catch and Bill made it for an important out. He didn't even come up bleeding after the play.

The Newcastle Player of the Game goes to Erik. He is straight stroking the ball right now. He's a line drive machine. We needed to find a way to get him up more often. An honorary NPoG goes out to the guys on Ahern who graciously shared their ice chest with several Gnus after the game. Not only were they generous, but there were surprisingly some good beers in the chest mingled with Brett's Coors Lights.

Little Sexy Makes Stage Debut

Thanks to the Bad Gnus who stuck around for Ryan's Arden Park stand up debut after the game on Monday. I wanted to share his Mariemont Talent Show performance with you. He's a little more shy then he was at the park after distributing beers. But he was clearly the best stand up comic at the talent show. Here's the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDNI96-LFrM

Bad Gnus Have Come to Play!

After several mediocre seasons in a row, the Bad Gnus have shown up to the Spring league ready to kick ass and take names. Or is it kick names and take ass? Either way there will be some names and ass involved.

The first game of the season started out slowly, but once the Bad Gnus put together a Gnu inning, they held the lead going into the last inning. Unfortunately, they were unable to hold the lead and lost to the Silver Bullets and their watered down, piss-water ice chest. I think the score was 8-7. It was well too many good beers ago to remember the details. The only thing I remember is that Howard never made an out and it was his homer in the top of the last inning that gave the Bad Gnus the lead. Howard takes the first Newcastle Player of the Game of the year!

A rain out saved the muscleheads from WIN Financial from further humiliation last week. First, their eyesore of a home sits unsold for over a year and I imagine they may be feeling the sting of the depressed capital markets more than most. On top of that, I'm sure the cost of Red Bulls and Creatine has only been going up. They would not have handled the beatdown we were sure to administer to them very well.

Last night, the Bad Gnus rose from the softball pergatory that they have been floating in and put together a breakout game against a tough Long Islanders squad. The night didn't start off too well for the Gnus. Greg was late for the game to ensure that he was properly fed before the game. I thought Greg always ate dinner at 4:30, so the 6:45 start time should not have been an issue.

That pressed relief pitcher, Doug Wormald into the starting role. I've created a whole "Wheel of Excuses" for what went wrong for Doug last night. Here's the choices: He didn't expect to pitch. It was the first time he's pitched in 8 months. The wind was really blowing hard. Those guys were just looking for walks. John C called a poor game from behind the plate. The Bengals suck. Let's give it a the wheel a spin... Actually, Doug is a very solid pitcher, but he clearly didn't have his stuff working last night. The Long Islanders also surrounded the walks by several hard hit balls. After the top of the first inning, the Gnus trailed 8-0.

Some teams would have thought that the game was over then. But the Bad Gnus have been the Bad Gnus for a long time. They have won games with larger deficits (I believe 14 at the Complex) and they have lost games with bigger leads. In the bottom of the second, a Bad Gnus inning blew in on the north wind and tied the game up at 8. After a couple of back and forth innings, the Bad Gnus came to bat trailing 14-13 as the sun was setting. The Gnus put up two runs to take a one run lead going into the last inning. The Long Islanders were unable to score, but there were 5 minutes left. The Gnus decided to waste the time by tacking on more runs. When time was called with the bases loaded, the final score was 19-14.

There were many, many offensive stars in this game and I'm sure I'll be missing someone. Newest Gnu Stuart Nelson had his second consecutive 3 hits game. We need to get some tie dye on that man. Kirk and Greg had a bunch of hits too. But what stood out for me was the beating both John C and Erik put on the ball all night. They each had multiple hits but they also went deep over the outfielders heads. The Gnus don't do that much. With the exception of the Newcastle Player of the Game, Howard.

Once again, Howard just smoked the ball all over the field. He was a triple away from the cycle and his homer this game was at another key point of the game. Howard must have an imaginary room in his house dedicated to storing all of his imaginary NPoG awards. On top of dominating on the field so far this season, he also dominated off of it. Check out his contribution to Gnus around the world from Cabo for his wife's 40th. (Be looking for the first Bad Gnu double shot around the world as Pete and I represent in Europe on Anna's 40th.) Don't be shy about sending me your travel pix!

There wasn't one defensive play that really stood out during the game, but Sean takes away the Defensive honors (Award Name to be determined) with several nice plays on fly balls during the game. He was covering all sorts or ground out there. From what I heard from Karen, he was getting all sorts of action all night. Take from that what you will.

Next game is Monday at 5:45 against Ahern, um I mean, Last Call. A win there will definitely announce our arrival. The Big Sexy will need a new keyboard after all the blogging that will take place after we bounce Last Call.

Bad Gnus Blog Endorsement - 5 Hour Energy

No, this is not an attempt to steal endorsement dollars from Braylon Edwards. Just because he can't hold on to a freaking ball and likely cost my fantasy football team a championship in the process, I not going to stop him from showing up on my TV at 2 in morning during the 1967 World Series on ESPN Classic. I'm just pimping a product I have tried and believe in.

My previous go-to energy drink, Rockstar, tastes like pomegranate juice that an alien took a piss in. But on the positive side, I felt like I could run through a wall about 20 minutes later. I was Superman on crack until I had to visit the little superheroes room and deposit my glowing urine into the porcelain chalice. However, I have enjoyed a very smooth ride back to Mikeville with my new mind adjuster.

To conduct my research, I have logged my time each hour on the half hour today. Below are the highlights...

12:30 Leave Luna Lounge after a most successful book club. Go home and annihilate a sleeve of Thin Mint cookies. Damn Girl Scouts.

5:30 Awake. Swear off future drinking on the first Monday of March ever again. Read sports page, take shower, make lunches for the boys.

6:30 Take Mom to Kaiser in Roseville. Wonder why Kaiser doesn't have a hospital in Sacramento she could go to.

8:30 Can't stop thinking how amazingly comfortable those hospital beds must be. Fail to hatch plan to feign sickness just to lie down.

10:30 Stare at my computer screen at work with my chin in my hand.

11:30 Extended "blink" leads to thoughts that I am actually riding a dolphin in the warm, blue waters of the Pacific... I decide to chug the 5 Hour Energy.

12:30 Not feeling jittery. Still think I can sleep under my desk, but decide to close Deadspin.com and start doing some work.

2:30 I have completed all of my boring accounting tasks and am checking my to-do list for what to attack next! However, I still feel like I should stay in my skin and I do not think I can fly.

4:30 Is it already 4:30? Sweet sassy molassy! I made some serious progress on my stack of stuff today.

5:30 Check ESPN.com to make sure that no sports news happened while I was working.

6:30 Make dinner for my loving wife and adoring boys.

9:30 Fall asleep on the couch next to an empty sleeve of Thin Mints. Damn Girl Scouts.

There you have it. A successful day, thanks in part to the wonders of 5 Hour Energy. Available at Walgreen's, Rite Aid and other high end drug stores.

Winter Book Club

Bouyed by my new-found patriotism and hope for our country and democracy as a whole during this glorious inauguration week, we are putting this month's book club activity to a vote! What is not up for discussion is the date. We will be doing this Thursday, February 5. Here are your three choices...

1) Bar Games Night - Trivia at Sacramento Brewing. Followed by Darts at Streets of London. Followed by 1-4-24 at Longshot. Will Mike Oxhard and The Fluffers hold off The Firm of Harry Dixon Cox in a battle of wits? Can we hit the dartboard enough to not get thrown out of a English pub? Will anyone be able to count to 24 by the time we get to the Longshot? All those answers and more could be uncovered.

2) Buzz Lightyear Night - Lazer Tag at either Country Club Lanes or Lasertag of Carmichael. Followed by Pizza at the Pizza Pit. Followed by drinks at the Luna Lounge. Lazer tag really is pretty kickass. I'd love to it without worrying about running over my son and their 8 year old friends. Ok, I don't know where the Pizza Pit is, but Wenelli's will take us after we work up an appetitte. See what I did there with Luna Lounge? What a better place to land the spaceship than a classy bar named after the moon?

3) Guitar Hero Night - Drive in a rented 15 person van to San Francisco to watch the Eagles of Death Metal in concert. EODM is a rockin', fun band. It's good, uptempo, boogie rock. Added bonus on this is we may be able to hookup with Tuesday Ted who is rumored to be heading down to this. Think how excited his wife would be if we all came flopping out of the Scooby Mobile wearing our tye dyed Gnus shirts!

There you have it. Get your votes in! I want a decision made by Super Sunday, people. Send me an e-mail to have you voice heard. God Bless the United States of America.

B.S. Awards - Beer of the Year

Those closest to me know that from time to time, I enjoy to quaff a frosty brew. Ok... just about all y'all know I drinks my fair share of beer. Combine my enjoyment of the brewers' majestic product with my near obsessive proclivity of making lists of my favorite things and you have the daddy of all B.S. Awards.

Me and beer had some good times in 2008... From my Easter Beer hunt to sampling Alaskan Amber while floating by a glacier, I can run a sappy montage of me and beer in my mind over a heartwarming melody. Before I start to cry, on to the list!

1. Newcastle - Always a stable at the top of the list. It never doesn't taste great. It is the standard to which all beers should set to achieve. I'm going to have one tonight to celebrate!

2. Fuller's London Pride - This is a special occasion beer for me. Very tasty. Even better (and more potent?) on tap at the Fox and Goose. Takes me back to walking the Strand in old Londontown.

3. Pale Moon from Blue Moon Brewing - Nice addition to the Blue Moon family. I enjoy a pale ale in the fall time and this one topped both Pyramid's Broken Rake and Sam Adams Octoberfest for me this year. And I love those two beers as well. The touch of orange in the taste I think put it over the top.

4. Sam Adams Light - I'm amazed how they can make a light beer this tasty. It is really a good, solid straight forward beer.

5. McMenamin's Ruby - This is the winner of the B.S. Award for vacation beer of year. A very tasty brew up in Portland. Sadly not available in bottles anywhere. Boo hoo. A hint of rasberry makes this ale stand out.

The rest of the top ten...

6. Pyramid Amberweisen on Tap

7. Sam Adams Octoberfest

8. Alaskan Amber

9. Blue Moon on Tap

10. Dos Equis Amber

In order to celebrate the B.S. Awards I will be putting togehter a group of 6 people and get a sixer of each of these and has a little taste test. Date of this extravanganza is TBA.

B.S. Awards - I Like To Watch Division

I like to think of myself as an active, busy guy. I'm always running around after my kids; I like to be outside; I'm constantly battling the losing battle against my house's state of disrepair. I wish that I could ever finish a project instead of having multiple, half completed projects laying around. But I've accepted that as one of my many, many shortcomings. What I have recently accepted is that I like to sit on my generous backside and let people entertain me. I love movies and this year I saw many. Thanks to TiVo, I can now also watch TV shows when I want to. TiVo is only slightly below the ipod as best device invented in my childrens' lifetimes. I will save my top five of those for a future discussion...

First, I will talk about movies. As with all art, movies are subjective to the viewer. I may be in a hyper mood and not enjoy a deeper movie. I may be a little grumpy and a slapstick comedy will seem sophomoric. The following list takes into account my personal attitude when seeing it. It is the 5 most enjoyable movies I saw this year.

1. Burn After Reading - I typically love me a Coen brothers movie and I was very much looking forward to this one. Usually that is a set up for a cinematic disappointment. But not so! Last year's No Country for Old Men was chilling. Anton Chigurh is one of movies all time bad guys. This movie was just fun. There was a very unexpected twist and the pace of the movie was quick. It got somewhat mixed reviews, but "they" didn't ask me. I thought it was super.

2. Slumdog Millionaire - This was the best "serious" movie I saw last year. Slumdog nearly knocked the Coen brothers off the top spot. It was very well done and took me on a rollercoaster of emotions. Mostly I think I took from the movie to not live in India. I guess I had already made that decision earlier in my life. Telling you the outline of plot makes it seem uninteresting, but believe me, it is really well done. I laughed. I cried. I winced. I cheered. It is about a poor kid that gets on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and makes it to the final question. This should win some awards this spring. I bet it takes home the Golden Globe for starters.

3. Role Models - Ok... this is one of those silly adult male movies that have been a bit overplayed with the huge success of Wedding Planners and 40 Year Old Virgin. Those kind of movies have to have a hip name by now, but I don't know of it... Dude Flix? Bro-vies? Man Candy? Whatev... I laughed and I laughed hard when I saw Role Models. It is really funny. Rent this so you can back up and hear the line you missed because you were laughing at the previous line. Of course, if you are all pissed off at the world when you see this, you will wonder what the heck I found so amusing. But if you are that grumpy, you'll think the Slumdog is a whiny, cheater who should just get you some tea and pipe down.

4. Tropic Thunder - This was another very funny movie. I clearly thought this was a year for the comedy... I was a little nervous that this was going to look funnier than it was but I am happy to report that was not what I found. I like to look for situations where I can say "Pump the brakes, son."

5. Juno - If you wanted to see this, you have already seen this. It came out in time for last year's awards, but I didn't see until this year and it was very good and hung around all year for the Top Five. Not much more to say about that here, Homeslice.

The next five, in no particular order, are Get Smart, Kung Fu Panda, Spiderwick Chronicles, Indiana Jones and the Obnoxiously Long Title and Snow Angels. Well, I guess in that order.

Now onto the small screen... the boob tube... the idiot box... the babysitter... Whatever you want to call it, it is my favorite household appliance. If I were giving the choice between a roomful of beautiful, comfortable furniture and no tv and a stark, empty room with a tv in the corner, I'd say "Now I have more space to stretch out." I wish I could be one of those people whose life is so lively and together that they can honestly say that they don't watch tv. Maybe it is my 40 years of television history running through me, but I love to relax at the end of a busy day by flipping on the tube, plopping on the couch, releasing the day's stress and catch some tube. Or nod off.

Here's my Top Five things to watch on TV:

1. Sharks games

2. Dolphins games

3. Football games that involve a fantasy player on one of my teams.

4. Mariners games

5. Other football games

Finishing just outside of that top section are Sportscenter, Real Sports with Bryant Gumble, Playoff games in any sport and Project Runway.

Ok... here's my non-sports division...

1. 30 Rock - This show floors me! I was late to the party on this, but through the miracle of DVDs, I've caught up quite a bit. Very funny writing.

2. Curb Your Enthusiasm - Larry is wince-inducing in his humor. I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for him, abhor him or respect him. The show really makes me laugh and all ties back to a central theme throughout a season. Can't wait for the next one to start.

3. The Daily Show - Where else am I supposed to get my news? Saturday Night Live can't be trusted to be fair and unbalanced.

4. The Amazing Race - I have loved this reality game show for years. I am immune to any grief given to me about reality shows. It's competition. It's travel. It's personal drama. It's edited to take people out of context for my enjoyment. Winner! Being a contestant on this show is on my bucket list. Not to be confused with my phucket list. That list includes quiting my job to write a novel, cockpunching selected members of the Arden Little League board and eating a burrito for lunch everyday.

5. The Life and Times of Tim - This is a new animated comedy on HBO. Poor Tim's initial impulse is always correct, but he ends up making the worst decisions. He sounds a bit like Kirk Giberson to me. More for his inflection than the actions. Another hit for the stable of excellent shows from HBO.

My next five are Wipeout (fun to watch with the boys), How I Met Your Mother, Entourage, The Office and The Colbert Report.

There are my top mental escape vehicles. I'm looking forward to seeing your lists in the comments. Please join in!

B.S. Awards - Songs of the Year

I really could have ranked my top 100 songs, but my fingers would get tired tapping so much on this keyboard. I need to save my fingers for the green, red, green, green, yellow of My Name is Jonas. As I am a big fan of fun, clever or interesting lyrics in my music, I will put in my fave lyric from each song. It may or may not be clever, but it was what was stuck in my head after the music stopped playing...

1. Sequestered in Memphis by The Hold Steady. It took me a while to figure out everything that was going on with this song. Ends up, he is being questioned by the police in the disappearance of a one night stand. Nice. Anyway... it rocks. It was pushed over the top by Craig Finn pleading with me, over and over, away from his microphone at the concert I attended that "I was there on business!". There are many great lyrics in this song, but the best lyric has to be in the chorus of "In bar light, she looked alright, but in daylight she looked desperate. That's alright I was desperate too. I'm gettin pretty sick of this interview." This song has it all including a jammin organ, blaring horns, rockin guitars and a nice clap interlude.

2. Troublemaker by Weezer. Rockin song from one of my favorite bands. Quite a few fun lyrics in this song but I liked the word play of "Marryin' a bey-yotch, havin seven key-ods, givin up and growin old and hoping there's no god".

3. Five on the Five by The Racontuers. Rockin', high energy song that keeps the legs pumping on the old eliptical. "Cause I look like nothin' like the kids in the videos".

4. Two Times by The Blakes. This is the most flat out rocking song on this excellent album. Second line he screams, "Wanna put a ring on your little finger." And the screaming lyrics are the perfect emoting for the feeling he is putting into the song. "You shakeshakeshakeshakeshakeshakeshake!"

5. Run (I'm a Natural Disaster) by Gnarls Barkely. I wish I could shake my groove thang as fast as my mind wants to shake it during this song. "Run. Run away. Run Children. Run for your lives!"

6. Hope by Jack Johnson. Nice mid tempo beach cool out from the master of them. "You don't... Always... Have, to, hold your head... higher than your heart"

7. Modern Art by Art Brut. Love me some Art Brut. This short, high energy joint not only rocks me but also tells a brief story about his visit to two art museums, the Tate in London and the Pompidou in Paris. That doesn't happen much. "Sweet Jesus! My heart!"

8. Song I Hate by The Toadies. Sweet little jam from the master of break up anger, Vaden Lewis. This is just another song in which he's pretty pissed about a recent ex. At least she lives at the end of this one. I think he's mellowing.

9. Foundations by Kate Nash. I have found I don't gravitate much so female singers, especially that have kind of a "Zone" sound to them, but the lyrics of this woman feed up with her boyfriend and the little digs they give to each other combined with the British accent made me keep listening to it. "You said I must eat so many lemons because I am so bitter. I said I'd rather be with your friends, mate, as they are much fitter." Zing!

10. Pork and Beans by Weezer. This was a great song all summer. Got a little overplayed. The video inspired Maximum's dead on impression of Dramatic Chipmunk". I love many of the lyrics. Especially the positive, "feeling good about myself" attitude. I also like that he says "I don't give a hoot what you think" in the chorus where other rock bands may given something different.

11. Take Back the City by Snow Patrol. I really like this song, but since it is very recent, it couldn't crack the top 10.

12. I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie. Top cool out song of the year. The album version of this starts off with a 5 minute instrumental. I'm glad they also released the single version on the album. Excellent song about an obsessive stalker...

13. A-Punk by Vampire Weekend. Sweet, fast guitar. Can't make sense of the lyrics but that doesn't matter. "Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!" Makes me smile just hearing it. Anything that can make you happy just clicking it on has to be on the list.

14. Stay Positive by The Hold Steady. One of many strong songs this year from this amazing band. This gets the nod to be on the list since Little Sexy told me all summer long, any time something worked out, it was because we "stay positive". He loves this song. Especially the "Whoa-oo-oo-o" parts. I'm glad he doesn't pay enough attention or understand it enough to focus on the stand out lyric of "There's gonna come a time, when she's gonna have to go, with whoever is going to get her the highest." Overall a pretty uplifting song.

15. Salute Your Solution by The Raconteurs. Another smokin' rock blast out from Jack White and crew. Spitting out rapid fire lyrics that are hard to disypher between guitar blasts. Keeping that energy high!

16. Space Humping $19.99 by Lifter Puller. I don't allow three songs from the same band to occupy the Top 20. This is a bit of an end around of that rule as Lifter Puller is Craig Finn's band before The Hold Steady. This does have a different sound. It has a great, cocky chorus line (that he talks out). I do like a good cocky line "I want everybody who's been eyeing my girl to slowly close your eyes. Take a look at what you've got, compare it to what I've got and ask yourself 'what do you think my girl wants?'"

17. They Say by Scars on Broadway. I love the whammy bar in this song! Pretty angry political song.

18. Mr. Hurricane by Beast. This would likely be a top ten song but it is so new that it didn't even make a seasonal mix. It had to make an appearance though. It might be back in the top 20 next year. Starts with a cool bass line that continues through the song. You can't not dance when this comes on. "Let it go, let it go. Turn on the light, yo."

19. Dance Commander by Electric Six. E6 has to represent on the list somewhere. I'd love to see these guys live. Why not come to Sactown, Dick? Corny lyrics over a rock/disco beat. I cannot adequately describe them ."Who gives the orders here?"/"Let's get this party started right, y'all".

20. Don't Want That Now by The Blakes. Just sneaking in under the wire despite some tough competition. Nice, rockin' number by my fave new band.

The Black Keys, The Arctic Monkeys, R.E.M. and Coldplay just missed the cut. Sorry, chaps.

Top Cool Out Songs of 2008

A cool out song for me is a song that can lower my pulse. A song that can calm me down when I'm frustrated. Or just plain mellow my stuff out. This is a nice little collection is you need to take a musical chill pill...

1. I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie

2. Skinny Love by Bon Iver

3. You Don't Understand Me by The Raconteurs

4. Every Man I Fall For by Cold War Kids

5. Lost? by Coldplay

6. Psychotic Girl by The Black Keys

7. If I Fell by Evan Rachel Wood (Beatles remake)

8. Weed by 1990s

9. Lord, I'm Discouraged by The Hold Steady

10. Same Girl by Jack Johnson

B.S. Awards - Albums of the Year

There were many great albums in 2008. I used to worry that the coming year would never be able to be as good as the one just passed. But every year I am wrong and have a whole bunch of new albums to adore. Following is my top ten albums of the year and my top three soundtrack albums of the year. I have never had a soundtrack list. I've always liked soundtracks and there is usually one or two a year that are really good to me. But this year there were several that I played over and over. One of them is still in Olive where it was put in as soon as I got her.

1. Stay Positive by The Hold Steady - No surprise after reading my last post on bands of the year; The Hold Steady walks home with the B.S. Album of the Year. The album has excellent story telling, rockin songs and even kick-ass guitar solos. And I'm not one for guitar solos. I'll pick out a couple of the songs that landed in my top 20 later. It is the only album all year that referenced Sacramento from a band not from here.

2. Consolers of the Lonely by the Racontuers - I have previously mentioned Jack White's musical genius. The Racontuers are Jack White with an actual band instead of just rocking himself. It's not quite a sparse as The White Stripes which has it's own quality, but dude can hook me in with his blues rock riffs. There are a number of great songs on this album. 4 songs were in my top 40 of the year and one even was one of my top cool out songs of the year.

3. Weezer - The Red Album - I love the Weeze. They had two of my absolute favorite songs of the year and the album have many more hits than misses for me. Everyone in the band took turns singing a song (to somewhat mixed results). But overall, a very strong album.

4. The Blakes by The Blakes - Taking home the B.S. for Best New Band, Seattle based The Blakes might have even landed higher if they didn't bail as the opening act for the Toadies concert at The Boardwalk. I love this album! Many of their songs are different sounding from each other. They had 4 or 5 of my top 40 songs of the year as well. Check out this hot new band!

5. Sleep Through the Static by Jack Johnson - Jack continues to break out great material that is perfect for a day at the beach or a dreary rainy day outside. Tasty waves and a cool buzz to you my flip-flop wearing friend.

6. Viva La Vida by Coldplay - I was a little leary that this album was going to be a letdown. My only letdown was that they kept putting a "hidden song" on their songs which made it difficult to add to my seasonal mixes much like JT did with FutureSex/LoveSounds. If you understand that reference and still are attracted to only women, welcome to my very exclusive club.

7. Narrow Stairs by Death Cab for Cutie - They took home the B.S. award for Cool Out song of the year, but the entire album had an excellent vibe that grew on me. I listened to it more each month I've owned it than the prior month.

8. The Odd Couple by Gnarls Barkley - They proved they were not going to be a flash in the pan with this solid followup to their first album. Not all their songs clicked with me, but the ones that did funked me up.

9. Vampire Weekend by Vampire Weekend - Excellent summer mix of songs. Kind of an African-Alternative mix via the Ivy League. I don't know how to explain it, I just know I liked listening to it with sunroof open during beautiful summer days.

10. These Are the Good Time People by The Presidents of the United States of America - More solid tunes from a band always entertains me. Ranking likely boosted by seeing this very fun band in concert again. They really are a good time, people.

Right on the edge were the new release by The Toadies, No Deliverance and, with many apologies to Ted, Attack & Release by The Black Keys. Both were very good albums, just not enough to unseat any of these ten.

Soundtracks:

1. Across the Universe. I loved the soundtrack, the idea of the movie and the movie. It is two discs worth of Beatles remakes. I'm always a little skeptical about remakes, but this hit it out of the park for me. Putting the songs in the context of the story even made the original Beatles songs better to me. It had almost a Baz Luhrman feel to it. My favorite song from the movie isn't even on the soundtrack. Just wonderful.

2. Into the Wild. This movie is in my top album list, my top movie list and my top book list. The story about this mixed up kid sure did occupy a lot of my entertainment time this year! I'm talking just about the soundtrack here. Eddie Vedder (one of my all time rock gods) delivers with a powerful, cool out soundtrack that really captures the emotions in the film.

3. Once. Hard to believe this would end up #3. It is a testiment to how strong the first two are. I don't love all of the songs on it, but the music really makes this excellent, touching film even more emotional.

B.S. Awards - Music Division - Bands of the Year

Those who know me know I spend way too much time obsessing about, downloading and ranking music. Especially for someone who cannot play any tune on any instrument. I do like to rock a mean Guitar Hero axe and croon into the Rock Band mic. After much (too much?) consideration I have released the 2008 B.S. Awards for Music. First up... Band of the Year.



1. The Hold Steady. I love, Love, LOVE the Hold Steady! They were not an instant smash with me, but after a dozen listens, I couldn't put them down. The Hold Steady is kind of a bar band. The singer talks most of his songs and sounds a bit like Bruce Springsteen, but the songs don't really remind me of Springsteen songs. The singer looks more like the IT guy at your work then how you might picture him when you hear him. On stage, he seems like he is having more fun then he should be allowed to have. Especially singing songs about drugs, religion, being wasted, growing older, getting high and insecurities. One of the things I love about the band is the lyrics. I am a sucker for clever lyrics on a rocking beat. The songs are mostly stories about characters that continue through each album. This year's album is going to get the B.S. award for album of the year (sorry to ruin the surprise), but it isn't even their best album. Try out Boys and Girls in America. Rock steady Hold Steady!


2. Weezer. This is a band I was a little late to the party on. I was never a big fan of them in the 90's which is when many of my fave bands originated. But now, I think they are great. My favorite Wii band songs are Weezer songs. I wish I could get just a whole game of just Weezer songs. They are another band with clever and fun lyrics over a rocking beat. Rivers Cuomo seems to be singing a lot about me in many of his songs from The Good Life ("I don't wanna be an old man anymore, it's been a year or two since I've been on the floor. Shakin' booty and makin' sweet love all the night. It's time I got back to the good life.") to this year's Pork and Beans ("They say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair. Working out in the gym to fit my underwear" in a song about just liking who you are). I like that they don't swear in their songs and they are basically hard rockin geeks. =w=


3. Radiohead. They didn't release anything this year but that doesn't mean they didn't get worn out on my iPod. I finally was exposed to them last year. They are an ultimate headphone band to me. Great tracks to just lose yourself in. I can't imagine them related in a concert. Bad Gnus music correspondent, Tuesday Ted, had this to say after seeing them in concert. "I don't know who they are. And I'm sure they are good at what they are trying to do, but that was the worst two hours of my life. The other 20,000 people there seemed to be enjoying themselves, but the only thing it was inspiring me to do was to climb up on the soundstage and see how many rounds from my piece I could unload on fools until I finally swallowed the final bullet for myself to give me a sweet release from the aural pain." I might have blemished his review slightly, but I think I captured the essence of his feelings. We'll have to agree to disagree. They smooth my mellow...


4. Jack White. He gets his own category because he is holding down two bands for me. Last year's stellar White Stripes release just added to the glut of excellent songs from that one man band. This year's release with The Racontuers was a top album of the year for me. He melds hard alternative and blues rock together for a most satisfying dish. Truly a musical genius.


5. Art Brut and Electric Six. Electric Six is a rockin' glam mix that cracks me up and makes my hips shake. They need to be included as a band of the year after Little Sexy won Mariemont Idol - Second Grade Division with his routine to Showtime. It was a real crowd pleaser. A highlight of the year for sure. Art Brut still gets constantly played on my ipod. Dude cracks me up. They are linked with Electric Six to me as I discovered them about the same time and they are both funny but rockin' music. He talks his songs like Craig Finn of The Hold Steady but his songs are typically more straight at you funny. "Don't Tell Your Friends!"

Bowling Night Odds

The November BGBC meeting is next week! Thursday, November 13 at Mandango's at 6:30, then Country Club Lanes at 8:15. It might be the most fun you have all year handling balls.

There won't be gambling like at the first book club meeting. There won't be polls and election results now our long, national nightmare is over. But I still find myself in need of finding winners... In that spirit, I have compiled a projected "Most/Best" list for the upcoming bookclub.

Best Dressed for the Occasion: Pete Nixon. I'm always anxious to see what Pete pulls out of his closet for any occasion, but I'll be stunned and disappointed if Pete isn't wearing something a little special for this night. Runner-up: Kirk Giberson in a bowling sweater vest.

Most Likely to bring his own bowling ball: Brett Dodge. Brett is the king of all activities that are done with multiple beers nearby. He's an excellent golfer. King of all trivia contests. Owns his own pool table. He throws darts so well the boys at the pub call him Bravedart. He ping pongs like Ling Long. I'm guessing his wrist guard has an embroidered BD on it.

Most Likely to Show Up so I can pay off a six-pack debt I don't remember: Todd Mirell. It always seems like I owe Todd a sixer. I don't even know why. I'm just going to start keeping a 6 of Newcastle in Olive's special hidden compartment in case I run into him.

Most Likely to try to get in on this combination of my bad memory and history of losing beer bets: Darren Silva. In fact, I probably owe Darren a couple sixers right now. Get in line...

Most Likely to call us after a bathroom break at the bowling alley because he can't find his way to lane we are using: Stuart Nelson. This could be a pattern of drunken behavior.

Most Likely to pass out at the Candlerock Lounge then have penis pictures drawn all over his arms with a Sharpie: Greg Blom. This getting darker earlier business won't do any favors for people who like to get to bed early.

Most Likely to be holding a Sharpie: Bill Moebs. It's the perfect melding of his artistic and sadistic side. Sardistic?

Most likely to sit down with a group of people to see if they were famous: Sean McDaniel. I respect his (or Sam Adams') courage to jump plop down at Barbi Benton's table. What if she was just some other old lady with a lot of plastic surgery? He might find a rougher crowd this week? "Hey, aren't you Dennis Hopper?"

First to want to play pool after bowling: Me. Pool is one of the many things I think I'm better at after a couple of beers. I'm also funnier and better looking.

I'm expecting many other fun stories and memories to be created this month. Hope you see you all there!

November Bookclub Date Announced

After the rousing success of our first bookclub, the November Bookclub has been scheduled for Thursday, November 13th! It will be a doubleheader of activity. We will be meeting at 6:30 at Mandango's for Thursday night football, dinner and a discussion of Bill's Photobook from the Night at the Races. Then we will move over to Country Club Lanes at 8:30 for the Big Lebowski Bowl Off. The Gnu Abides! Join the party for one or both.

The last meeting was a great time! Moebs was the big winner. I don't know if he actually came out ahead but I have a picture of him cashing a ticket. From cashing tickets, watching the ponies, riding in the pace car and even running into an old friend I had a blast at the races! The afterparty took place at the Luna Lounge where we had another Gnus Brush with D-List Celebrity. This time is was Barbi Benton! Shown here with Stuart and Bill. (From the look on Stuart's face, any guesses where Bill's hand is?) She was very nice and more than gracious posing for pictures with everyone at the lounge.

Who knows what D-Lister will be cool enough to hang with the Gnus this time? Will Creighton Sanders be sucking down gin & tonics at Mandango's? Will it be the lead singer of Tesla be whipping a rose-incased, clear bowling ball down the Country Club Lanes? Will Molly Ringwald be singing Karaoke at the Candlerock Lounge? Show up to find out!

A Message from a Racehorse

Hey there Bad Gnus! My name is Hung Like A Me. First off, I can't tell you what an honor it is that me and my friends will be your companions at the first ever Bad Gnus Book Club. Wait... What's that? You want us to run around the track pulling little dudes in a buggy while they whip us so you degenerates can bet $2 a race on us?!? Figures. Your loss. I bet that won't be the last time you hear that phrase all night. (he he he whinney he he)

I guess you'll miss my opinion on some of my favorite books: The Black Stallion, Seabiscuit, anything by Dick Francis and Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. Dude's a sick mother but the trainer couldn't turn the pages fast enough for me...

Anyway, runnin' fast is what we do! The only way I could be happier is if the guy with the Napolean complex that I have to drag around all night would stop hitting me. We have a great time at track. We're full of little in-jokes like when we stick a white horse out there so all you racist sons of guns will throw your money away at it. Or the names we give ourselves so we can hear the fast-talking announcer shout it out. Some of my favorites that make me laugh everytime are Hoof Hearted, Mike Oxsmall and Vice President Palin. Hooo boy! Some words just shouldn't be said together.

So here's the deal. Y'all show up Thursday, October 9th around 6:00. The Fellas will either be in the low part of the second deck or wandering around. It's not a big place. First race is 6:15. There's probably some kinda drink and food specials. Just stay away from the Kielbaska. He was looking pretty sick before he was put down.

See ya then!