Bad Gnus, It's Last Calling

My problem with the new Ahern team name isn't that I dislike name changes. Though Candlestick will always be Candlestick and not 3Com and Teen Sexy will always be Matthew and not Matt. Last Call will always be Ahern to me. And that's not just when Bob Ahern plays on the shortstop side of second base when I weekly fly out to left.

My problem with the name "Last Call" is not that it can mean several different things. I'm a big fan of that kinda scene... It's that none of the ways it can be meant are happy. All of them suck.

The obvious "Last Call" is the kind at a bar. That ALWAYS sucks. I'm never happy about that. That's then followed by the lights coming on in the s-hole bar that I'm in and nobody needs to see the walls or the people there is good light. You can also say it has a baseball connotation, but the Last Call of a ball game is always the last out. I like playing softball. I'm not looking for the game to end and I certainly don't want it to be because our umpire needs to get to The Pink Triangle before happy hour ends. It could also mean it's the last time someone calls you. Unless you are talking about my alma mater always trying to suck another nickle out of me, people don't call me unless I like them. I don't want to think about a phone call being the last time I'm going to talk to someone.

I like the guys on Ahern. I don't think they suck at all. So I cannot find good vibes with that negative name. I don't want to think negative thoughts when I think of the Ahern name. We here at the Bad Gnus Name Generator have developed several new team names for them to try out.

a. B Diddy and the Funkybunch

b. Rural Jurors

c. Off Regularly (So I can have a headline of Bad Gnus Beat Off Regulary)

d. The Upper Deckers

e. If You Seek Amy

All of those make me smile. That's all I'm looking for in a team name when I think of my second favorite (a very distant second) Arden Park softball team.

Anywho, on to the game. Last year Ahern beat the Bad Gnus handlely a couple times. This year's Bad Gnus squad was out to keep this one close. We had several Gnus for the first time this season and we were missing the automatic hits Triple H always provides. So our offense was bound to struggle. And this reporter feels like he has some food poisioning from Tre on Saturday. (You can't be hung over for two days can you?)

This was a defensive stand-off. With the Bad Gnus playing very solid defense behind Greg's excellent pitching. With Erik Grotte providing all of the offense for the Gnus, they held a 3-1 lead going into the 6th inning. With two outs and nobody on, both Kirk and the Big Sexy missed relatively easy catches on line drives to put two runners on. Both of them had many several plays during the game to anchor the solid defensive effort. That was followed by a run scoring single to cut the lead to 3-2. The Bad Gnus failed to score going into the 7th, where GT hit a blooping, 2 run single to right to give Ahern the lead for the first time since the top of first inning.

The Bad Gnus had one more shot as John led off the inning with a solid single but another spectacular play by Masterlock Defensive Player of the Game, Eddie Shaldone, turned a hard hit ball into a double play. The Gnus were unable to score and lost their 2nd game of the year in the 7th inning, this time 4-3.

This is the first time that a player on another team has taken a post game award from the Bad Gnus, but Eddie deserved it. He made several super plays at third base taking away multiple hits. It didn't help that he brought his own cheering section. All of the future Good Gnus were hanging out playing wiffleball and couldn't give a spit about how their old men were doing on the field. Eddie's little league team was over their whooping it up. I know I've coached a couple of those kids before and I think they might have been booing me.

Eddie edged out Bill who made a great turn on a 5-3-2 double play at a key time of the game, made a tough throw from the third baseman look like a simple play and made a most indescribable catch. You really had to see the twisting body, flailing arms and dizzying route Bill took to the pop up behind first base to appreciate it. It was a very difficult catch and Bill made it for an important out. He didn't even come up bleeding after the play.

The Newcastle Player of the Game goes to Erik. He is straight stroking the ball right now. He's a line drive machine. We needed to find a way to get him up more often. An honorary NPoG goes out to the guys on Ahern who graciously shared their ice chest with several Gnus after the game. Not only were they generous, but there were surprisingly some good beers in the chest mingled with Brett's Coors Lights.

Little Sexy Makes Stage Debut

Thanks to the Bad Gnus who stuck around for Ryan's Arden Park stand up debut after the game on Monday. I wanted to share his Mariemont Talent Show performance with you. He's a little more shy then he was at the park after distributing beers. But he was clearly the best stand up comic at the talent show. Here's the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDNI96-LFrM

Bad Gnus Have Come to Play!

After several mediocre seasons in a row, the Bad Gnus have shown up to the Spring league ready to kick ass and take names. Or is it kick names and take ass? Either way there will be some names and ass involved.

The first game of the season started out slowly, but once the Bad Gnus put together a Gnu inning, they held the lead going into the last inning. Unfortunately, they were unable to hold the lead and lost to the Silver Bullets and their watered down, piss-water ice chest. I think the score was 8-7. It was well too many good beers ago to remember the details. The only thing I remember is that Howard never made an out and it was his homer in the top of the last inning that gave the Bad Gnus the lead. Howard takes the first Newcastle Player of the Game of the year!

A rain out saved the muscleheads from WIN Financial from further humiliation last week. First, their eyesore of a home sits unsold for over a year and I imagine they may be feeling the sting of the depressed capital markets more than most. On top of that, I'm sure the cost of Red Bulls and Creatine has only been going up. They would not have handled the beatdown we were sure to administer to them very well.

Last night, the Bad Gnus rose from the softball pergatory that they have been floating in and put together a breakout game against a tough Long Islanders squad. The night didn't start off too well for the Gnus. Greg was late for the game to ensure that he was properly fed before the game. I thought Greg always ate dinner at 4:30, so the 6:45 start time should not have been an issue.

That pressed relief pitcher, Doug Wormald into the starting role. I've created a whole "Wheel of Excuses" for what went wrong for Doug last night. Here's the choices: He didn't expect to pitch. It was the first time he's pitched in 8 months. The wind was really blowing hard. Those guys were just looking for walks. John C called a poor game from behind the plate. The Bengals suck. Let's give it a the wheel a spin... Actually, Doug is a very solid pitcher, but he clearly didn't have his stuff working last night. The Long Islanders also surrounded the walks by several hard hit balls. After the top of the first inning, the Gnus trailed 8-0.

Some teams would have thought that the game was over then. But the Bad Gnus have been the Bad Gnus for a long time. They have won games with larger deficits (I believe 14 at the Complex) and they have lost games with bigger leads. In the bottom of the second, a Bad Gnus inning blew in on the north wind and tied the game up at 8. After a couple of back and forth innings, the Bad Gnus came to bat trailing 14-13 as the sun was setting. The Gnus put up two runs to take a one run lead going into the last inning. The Long Islanders were unable to score, but there were 5 minutes left. The Gnus decided to waste the time by tacking on more runs. When time was called with the bases loaded, the final score was 19-14.

There were many, many offensive stars in this game and I'm sure I'll be missing someone. Newest Gnu Stuart Nelson had his second consecutive 3 hits game. We need to get some tie dye on that man. Kirk and Greg had a bunch of hits too. But what stood out for me was the beating both John C and Erik put on the ball all night. They each had multiple hits but they also went deep over the outfielders heads. The Gnus don't do that much. With the exception of the Newcastle Player of the Game, Howard.

Once again, Howard just smoked the ball all over the field. He was a triple away from the cycle and his homer this game was at another key point of the game. Howard must have an imaginary room in his house dedicated to storing all of his imaginary NPoG awards. On top of dominating on the field so far this season, he also dominated off of it. Check out his contribution to Gnus around the world from Cabo for his wife's 40th. (Be looking for the first Bad Gnu double shot around the world as Pete and I represent in Europe on Anna's 40th.) Don't be shy about sending me your travel pix!

There wasn't one defensive play that really stood out during the game, but Sean takes away the Defensive honors (Award Name to be determined) with several nice plays on fly balls during the game. He was covering all sorts or ground out there. From what I heard from Karen, he was getting all sorts of action all night. Take from that what you will.

Next game is Monday at 5:45 against Ahern, um I mean, Last Call. A win there will definitely announce our arrival. The Big Sexy will need a new keyboard after all the blogging that will take place after we bounce Last Call.