B.S. Awards - Songs of the Year

I really could have ranked my top 100 songs, but my fingers would get tired tapping so much on this keyboard. I need to save my fingers for the green, red, green, green, yellow of My Name is Jonas. As I am a big fan of fun, clever or interesting lyrics in my music, I will put in my fave lyric from each song. It may or may not be clever, but it was what was stuck in my head after the music stopped playing...

1. Sequestered in Memphis by The Hold Steady. It took me a while to figure out everything that was going on with this song. Ends up, he is being questioned by the police in the disappearance of a one night stand. Nice. Anyway... it rocks. It was pushed over the top by Craig Finn pleading with me, over and over, away from his microphone at the concert I attended that "I was there on business!". There are many great lyrics in this song, but the best lyric has to be in the chorus of "In bar light, she looked alright, but in daylight she looked desperate. That's alright I was desperate too. I'm gettin pretty sick of this interview." This song has it all including a jammin organ, blaring horns, rockin guitars and a nice clap interlude.

2. Troublemaker by Weezer. Rockin song from one of my favorite bands. Quite a few fun lyrics in this song but I liked the word play of "Marryin' a bey-yotch, havin seven key-ods, givin up and growin old and hoping there's no god".

3. Five on the Five by The Racontuers. Rockin', high energy song that keeps the legs pumping on the old eliptical. "Cause I look like nothin' like the kids in the videos".

4. Two Times by The Blakes. This is the most flat out rocking song on this excellent album. Second line he screams, "Wanna put a ring on your little finger." And the screaming lyrics are the perfect emoting for the feeling he is putting into the song. "You shakeshakeshakeshakeshakeshakeshake!"

5. Run (I'm a Natural Disaster) by Gnarls Barkely. I wish I could shake my groove thang as fast as my mind wants to shake it during this song. "Run. Run away. Run Children. Run for your lives!"

6. Hope by Jack Johnson. Nice mid tempo beach cool out from the master of them. "You don't... Always... Have, to, hold your head... higher than your heart"

7. Modern Art by Art Brut. Love me some Art Brut. This short, high energy joint not only rocks me but also tells a brief story about his visit to two art museums, the Tate in London and the Pompidou in Paris. That doesn't happen much. "Sweet Jesus! My heart!"

8. Song I Hate by The Toadies. Sweet little jam from the master of break up anger, Vaden Lewis. This is just another song in which he's pretty pissed about a recent ex. At least she lives at the end of this one. I think he's mellowing.

9. Foundations by Kate Nash. I have found I don't gravitate much so female singers, especially that have kind of a "Zone" sound to them, but the lyrics of this woman feed up with her boyfriend and the little digs they give to each other combined with the British accent made me keep listening to it. "You said I must eat so many lemons because I am so bitter. I said I'd rather be with your friends, mate, as they are much fitter." Zing!

10. Pork and Beans by Weezer. This was a great song all summer. Got a little overplayed. The video inspired Maximum's dead on impression of Dramatic Chipmunk". I love many of the lyrics. Especially the positive, "feeling good about myself" attitude. I also like that he says "I don't give a hoot what you think" in the chorus where other rock bands may given something different.

11. Take Back the City by Snow Patrol. I really like this song, but since it is very recent, it couldn't crack the top 10.

12. I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie. Top cool out song of the year. The album version of this starts off with a 5 minute instrumental. I'm glad they also released the single version on the album. Excellent song about an obsessive stalker...

13. A-Punk by Vampire Weekend. Sweet, fast guitar. Can't make sense of the lyrics but that doesn't matter. "Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!" Makes me smile just hearing it. Anything that can make you happy just clicking it on has to be on the list.

14. Stay Positive by The Hold Steady. One of many strong songs this year from this amazing band. This gets the nod to be on the list since Little Sexy told me all summer long, any time something worked out, it was because we "stay positive". He loves this song. Especially the "Whoa-oo-oo-o" parts. I'm glad he doesn't pay enough attention or understand it enough to focus on the stand out lyric of "There's gonna come a time, when she's gonna have to go, with whoever is going to get her the highest." Overall a pretty uplifting song.

15. Salute Your Solution by The Raconteurs. Another smokin' rock blast out from Jack White and crew. Spitting out rapid fire lyrics that are hard to disypher between guitar blasts. Keeping that energy high!

16. Space Humping $19.99 by Lifter Puller. I don't allow three songs from the same band to occupy the Top 20. This is a bit of an end around of that rule as Lifter Puller is Craig Finn's band before The Hold Steady. This does have a different sound. It has a great, cocky chorus line (that he talks out). I do like a good cocky line "I want everybody who's been eyeing my girl to slowly close your eyes. Take a look at what you've got, compare it to what I've got and ask yourself 'what do you think my girl wants?'"

17. They Say by Scars on Broadway. I love the whammy bar in this song! Pretty angry political song.

18. Mr. Hurricane by Beast. This would likely be a top ten song but it is so new that it didn't even make a seasonal mix. It had to make an appearance though. It might be back in the top 20 next year. Starts with a cool bass line that continues through the song. You can't not dance when this comes on. "Let it go, let it go. Turn on the light, yo."

19. Dance Commander by Electric Six. E6 has to represent on the list somewhere. I'd love to see these guys live. Why not come to Sactown, Dick? Corny lyrics over a rock/disco beat. I cannot adequately describe them ."Who gives the orders here?"/"Let's get this party started right, y'all".

20. Don't Want That Now by The Blakes. Just sneaking in under the wire despite some tough competition. Nice, rockin' number by my fave new band.

The Black Keys, The Arctic Monkeys, R.E.M. and Coldplay just missed the cut. Sorry, chaps.

Top Cool Out Songs of 2008

A cool out song for me is a song that can lower my pulse. A song that can calm me down when I'm frustrated. Or just plain mellow my stuff out. This is a nice little collection is you need to take a musical chill pill...

1. I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie

2. Skinny Love by Bon Iver

3. You Don't Understand Me by The Raconteurs

4. Every Man I Fall For by Cold War Kids

5. Lost? by Coldplay

6. Psychotic Girl by The Black Keys

7. If I Fell by Evan Rachel Wood (Beatles remake)

8. Weed by 1990s

9. Lord, I'm Discouraged by The Hold Steady

10. Same Girl by Jack Johnson

B.S. Awards - Albums of the Year

There were many great albums in 2008. I used to worry that the coming year would never be able to be as good as the one just passed. But every year I am wrong and have a whole bunch of new albums to adore. Following is my top ten albums of the year and my top three soundtrack albums of the year. I have never had a soundtrack list. I've always liked soundtracks and there is usually one or two a year that are really good to me. But this year there were several that I played over and over. One of them is still in Olive where it was put in as soon as I got her.

1. Stay Positive by The Hold Steady - No surprise after reading my last post on bands of the year; The Hold Steady walks home with the B.S. Album of the Year. The album has excellent story telling, rockin songs and even kick-ass guitar solos. And I'm not one for guitar solos. I'll pick out a couple of the songs that landed in my top 20 later. It is the only album all year that referenced Sacramento from a band not from here.

2. Consolers of the Lonely by the Racontuers - I have previously mentioned Jack White's musical genius. The Racontuers are Jack White with an actual band instead of just rocking himself. It's not quite a sparse as The White Stripes which has it's own quality, but dude can hook me in with his blues rock riffs. There are a number of great songs on this album. 4 songs were in my top 40 of the year and one even was one of my top cool out songs of the year.

3. Weezer - The Red Album - I love the Weeze. They had two of my absolute favorite songs of the year and the album have many more hits than misses for me. Everyone in the band took turns singing a song (to somewhat mixed results). But overall, a very strong album.

4. The Blakes by The Blakes - Taking home the B.S. for Best New Band, Seattle based The Blakes might have even landed higher if they didn't bail as the opening act for the Toadies concert at The Boardwalk. I love this album! Many of their songs are different sounding from each other. They had 4 or 5 of my top 40 songs of the year as well. Check out this hot new band!

5. Sleep Through the Static by Jack Johnson - Jack continues to break out great material that is perfect for a day at the beach or a dreary rainy day outside. Tasty waves and a cool buzz to you my flip-flop wearing friend.

6. Viva La Vida by Coldplay - I was a little leary that this album was going to be a letdown. My only letdown was that they kept putting a "hidden song" on their songs which made it difficult to add to my seasonal mixes much like JT did with FutureSex/LoveSounds. If you understand that reference and still are attracted to only women, welcome to my very exclusive club.

7. Narrow Stairs by Death Cab for Cutie - They took home the B.S. award for Cool Out song of the year, but the entire album had an excellent vibe that grew on me. I listened to it more each month I've owned it than the prior month.

8. The Odd Couple by Gnarls Barkley - They proved they were not going to be a flash in the pan with this solid followup to their first album. Not all their songs clicked with me, but the ones that did funked me up.

9. Vampire Weekend by Vampire Weekend - Excellent summer mix of songs. Kind of an African-Alternative mix via the Ivy League. I don't know how to explain it, I just know I liked listening to it with sunroof open during beautiful summer days.

10. These Are the Good Time People by The Presidents of the United States of America - More solid tunes from a band always entertains me. Ranking likely boosted by seeing this very fun band in concert again. They really are a good time, people.

Right on the edge were the new release by The Toadies, No Deliverance and, with many apologies to Ted, Attack & Release by The Black Keys. Both were very good albums, just not enough to unseat any of these ten.

Soundtracks:

1. Across the Universe. I loved the soundtrack, the idea of the movie and the movie. It is two discs worth of Beatles remakes. I'm always a little skeptical about remakes, but this hit it out of the park for me. Putting the songs in the context of the story even made the original Beatles songs better to me. It had almost a Baz Luhrman feel to it. My favorite song from the movie isn't even on the soundtrack. Just wonderful.

2. Into the Wild. This movie is in my top album list, my top movie list and my top book list. The story about this mixed up kid sure did occupy a lot of my entertainment time this year! I'm talking just about the soundtrack here. Eddie Vedder (one of my all time rock gods) delivers with a powerful, cool out soundtrack that really captures the emotions in the film.

3. Once. Hard to believe this would end up #3. It is a testiment to how strong the first two are. I don't love all of the songs on it, but the music really makes this excellent, touching film even more emotional.

B.S. Awards - Music Division - Bands of the Year

Those who know me know I spend way too much time obsessing about, downloading and ranking music. Especially for someone who cannot play any tune on any instrument. I do like to rock a mean Guitar Hero axe and croon into the Rock Band mic. After much (too much?) consideration I have released the 2008 B.S. Awards for Music. First up... Band of the Year.



1. The Hold Steady. I love, Love, LOVE the Hold Steady! They were not an instant smash with me, but after a dozen listens, I couldn't put them down. The Hold Steady is kind of a bar band. The singer talks most of his songs and sounds a bit like Bruce Springsteen, but the songs don't really remind me of Springsteen songs. The singer looks more like the IT guy at your work then how you might picture him when you hear him. On stage, he seems like he is having more fun then he should be allowed to have. Especially singing songs about drugs, religion, being wasted, growing older, getting high and insecurities. One of the things I love about the band is the lyrics. I am a sucker for clever lyrics on a rocking beat. The songs are mostly stories about characters that continue through each album. This year's album is going to get the B.S. award for album of the year (sorry to ruin the surprise), but it isn't even their best album. Try out Boys and Girls in America. Rock steady Hold Steady!


2. Weezer. This is a band I was a little late to the party on. I was never a big fan of them in the 90's which is when many of my fave bands originated. But now, I think they are great. My favorite Wii band songs are Weezer songs. I wish I could get just a whole game of just Weezer songs. They are another band with clever and fun lyrics over a rocking beat. Rivers Cuomo seems to be singing a lot about me in many of his songs from The Good Life ("I don't wanna be an old man anymore, it's been a year or two since I've been on the floor. Shakin' booty and makin' sweet love all the night. It's time I got back to the good life.") to this year's Pork and Beans ("They say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair. Working out in the gym to fit my underwear" in a song about just liking who you are). I like that they don't swear in their songs and they are basically hard rockin geeks. =w=


3. Radiohead. They didn't release anything this year but that doesn't mean they didn't get worn out on my iPod. I finally was exposed to them last year. They are an ultimate headphone band to me. Great tracks to just lose yourself in. I can't imagine them related in a concert. Bad Gnus music correspondent, Tuesday Ted, had this to say after seeing them in concert. "I don't know who they are. And I'm sure they are good at what they are trying to do, but that was the worst two hours of my life. The other 20,000 people there seemed to be enjoying themselves, but the only thing it was inspiring me to do was to climb up on the soundstage and see how many rounds from my piece I could unload on fools until I finally swallowed the final bullet for myself to give me a sweet release from the aural pain." I might have blemished his review slightly, but I think I captured the essence of his feelings. We'll have to agree to disagree. They smooth my mellow...


4. Jack White. He gets his own category because he is holding down two bands for me. Last year's stellar White Stripes release just added to the glut of excellent songs from that one man band. This year's release with The Racontuers was a top album of the year for me. He melds hard alternative and blues rock together for a most satisfying dish. Truly a musical genius.


5. Art Brut and Electric Six. Electric Six is a rockin' glam mix that cracks me up and makes my hips shake. They need to be included as a band of the year after Little Sexy won Mariemont Idol - Second Grade Division with his routine to Showtime. It was a real crowd pleaser. A highlight of the year for sure. Art Brut still gets constantly played on my ipod. Dude cracks me up. They are linked with Electric Six to me as I discovered them about the same time and they are both funny but rockin' music. He talks his songs like Craig Finn of The Hold Steady but his songs are typically more straight at you funny. "Don't Tell Your Friends!"

Bowling Night Odds

The November BGBC meeting is next week! Thursday, November 13 at Mandango's at 6:30, then Country Club Lanes at 8:15. It might be the most fun you have all year handling balls.

There won't be gambling like at the first book club meeting. There won't be polls and election results now our long, national nightmare is over. But I still find myself in need of finding winners... In that spirit, I have compiled a projected "Most/Best" list for the upcoming bookclub.

Best Dressed for the Occasion: Pete Nixon. I'm always anxious to see what Pete pulls out of his closet for any occasion, but I'll be stunned and disappointed if Pete isn't wearing something a little special for this night. Runner-up: Kirk Giberson in a bowling sweater vest.

Most Likely to bring his own bowling ball: Brett Dodge. Brett is the king of all activities that are done with multiple beers nearby. He's an excellent golfer. King of all trivia contests. Owns his own pool table. He throws darts so well the boys at the pub call him Bravedart. He ping pongs like Ling Long. I'm guessing his wrist guard has an embroidered BD on it.

Most Likely to Show Up so I can pay off a six-pack debt I don't remember: Todd Mirell. It always seems like I owe Todd a sixer. I don't even know why. I'm just going to start keeping a 6 of Newcastle in Olive's special hidden compartment in case I run into him.

Most Likely to try to get in on this combination of my bad memory and history of losing beer bets: Darren Silva. In fact, I probably owe Darren a couple sixers right now. Get in line...

Most Likely to call us after a bathroom break at the bowling alley because he can't find his way to lane we are using: Stuart Nelson. This could be a pattern of drunken behavior.

Most Likely to pass out at the Candlerock Lounge then have penis pictures drawn all over his arms with a Sharpie: Greg Blom. This getting darker earlier business won't do any favors for people who like to get to bed early.

Most Likely to be holding a Sharpie: Bill Moebs. It's the perfect melding of his artistic and sadistic side. Sardistic?

Most likely to sit down with a group of people to see if they were famous: Sean McDaniel. I respect his (or Sam Adams') courage to jump plop down at Barbi Benton's table. What if she was just some other old lady with a lot of plastic surgery? He might find a rougher crowd this week? "Hey, aren't you Dennis Hopper?"

First to want to play pool after bowling: Me. Pool is one of the many things I think I'm better at after a couple of beers. I'm also funnier and better looking.

I'm expecting many other fun stories and memories to be created this month. Hope you see you all there!

November Bookclub Date Announced

After the rousing success of our first bookclub, the November Bookclub has been scheduled for Thursday, November 13th! It will be a doubleheader of activity. We will be meeting at 6:30 at Mandango's for Thursday night football, dinner and a discussion of Bill's Photobook from the Night at the Races. Then we will move over to Country Club Lanes at 8:30 for the Big Lebowski Bowl Off. The Gnu Abides! Join the party for one or both.

The last meeting was a great time! Moebs was the big winner. I don't know if he actually came out ahead but I have a picture of him cashing a ticket. From cashing tickets, watching the ponies, riding in the pace car and even running into an old friend I had a blast at the races! The afterparty took place at the Luna Lounge where we had another Gnus Brush with D-List Celebrity. This time is was Barbi Benton! Shown here with Stuart and Bill. (From the look on Stuart's face, any guesses where Bill's hand is?) She was very nice and more than gracious posing for pictures with everyone at the lounge.

Who knows what D-Lister will be cool enough to hang with the Gnus this time? Will Creighton Sanders be sucking down gin & tonics at Mandango's? Will it be the lead singer of Tesla be whipping a rose-incased, clear bowling ball down the Country Club Lanes? Will Molly Ringwald be singing Karaoke at the Candlerock Lounge? Show up to find out!

A Message from a Racehorse

Hey there Bad Gnus! My name is Hung Like A Me. First off, I can't tell you what an honor it is that me and my friends will be your companions at the first ever Bad Gnus Book Club. Wait... What's that? You want us to run around the track pulling little dudes in a buggy while they whip us so you degenerates can bet $2 a race on us?!? Figures. Your loss. I bet that won't be the last time you hear that phrase all night. (he he he whinney he he)

I guess you'll miss my opinion on some of my favorite books: The Black Stallion, Seabiscuit, anything by Dick Francis and Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. Dude's a sick mother but the trainer couldn't turn the pages fast enough for me...

Anyway, runnin' fast is what we do! The only way I could be happier is if the guy with the Napolean complex that I have to drag around all night would stop hitting me. We have a great time at track. We're full of little in-jokes like when we stick a white horse out there so all you racist sons of guns will throw your money away at it. Or the names we give ourselves so we can hear the fast-talking announcer shout it out. Some of my favorites that make me laugh everytime are Hoof Hearted, Mike Oxsmall and Vice President Palin. Hooo boy! Some words just shouldn't be said together.

So here's the deal. Y'all show up Thursday, October 9th around 6:00. The Fellas will either be in the low part of the second deck or wandering around. It's not a big place. First race is 6:15. There's probably some kinda drink and food specials. Just stay away from the Kielbaska. He was looking pretty sick before he was put down.

See ya then!

Bad Gnus Bookclub

I know that as the offseason drags on, many of you escape to a good book to kill time until the next time you step on the the diamond. Many of our wives have an enriching and stimulating time each month discussing a book they have recently read. It's time for the fellas to join in the fun!

The Bad Gnus Bookclub is open to all current and past members of the Bad Gnus and any friends or members or the Bad Gnus. So basically, anyone that wants to show.

Our first meeting will be at the Cal Expo Harness Racing Grandstand on Thursday, October 9. Posttime, err, Meeting time will be at 6:30. I hope that all of you can make it. Please RSVP so I know how many racing forms, I mean discussion topic sheets I should print out. Our next meeting will likely be on a November Monday evening in a quiet corner of Mandango's or somewhere else with a big screen and drink specials.

We still need to hammer out the details of our first book. Here are the choices: The Kite Runner, A Million Little Pieces, The October 5th issue of Sports Illustrated and Tuesdays with Morrie. Lemme know.

Hope to see a big turnout!

Bad Gnus Brush with (D-List) Celebrity

It's time for a new photo section of the world's most renowned sports blog about 40 year old fat guys playing softball. It is the Brush with Celebrity section! Please send me photos of you with anyone who someone might have heard of before.

First up, Bill Moebs with Flava Flav! How awesome is this?!? Bill runs into Flav at his high school reunion in Modesto. It poses so many questions? Most obvious, what time is it? But also, what is Flava doing in Modesto? Were they high school classmates? Did Flav cheat off Bill in Algebra 2? Did Bill cheat off Flav in Ebonics 1A? Did Bill not have anything else in his closet to wear to his class reunion? Dude, these guys only see you every 5 years.




I haven't seen anything this pink next to something this black since I saw Pete's dog, Marshawn licking himself while watching a Cal football game.

Thanks for sending the picture, Bill! This is the quiet time of year for the blog, so send in those vacation pics and brushes with celebrity.

On a softball related note, Ahern defeated the WIN Financial Roiders in the Championship game stopping what would have likely been a Detroit-style celebration of Arden Park complete with cars turned over and looting of local business. Nice work, B Diddy and friends!

Aaaannnndd... Scene

That was not a good way to go into the off-season... Maybe I'm just being a little pessimistic. People always tell me to look at the beer as half full, but by then I'm already ordering my next one. In fact, I think I should take a few minutes to exalt the many wonderful things that happened during the last season of Bad Gnus softball. Here's my top 5, in no particular order.

1. We did not lose to the "K-Tel Sounds of the 70's" Don't Panic team once all season. Better luck next year, Roadies.

2. We didn't have to player-whore in the bathroom all year. Sure a couple times we were short and had to ask a player from another team, but they were usually Friends of the Gnus (not to be confused with Friends of Dorothy) to begin with.

3. We constantly out-beered the competition to the point of gaining league-wide notoriety for our ice chest. Many game nights we closed the park... and that was after 6:00 games. But the real deal was in the quality of the beer. And though free beer from friends is the second best beer available, neither the Coors Light of the Silver Bullets and Ahern, the Zima's of the Long Islanders and the T-Sox, the shots of Patron of WIN Finanical nor the prune juice for the Hanks and Don't Panic ever lit a candle to our variety of craft brews. I'm glad to have promoted beer snobbery in Arden Park.

4. None of our aging bodies got seriously hurt. Sure, Billy was bleeding like he had the stigmata after most games, but if you had to support that upper body on those twigs, you'd feel like you just got off the tilt-a-whirl everytime you bent over too.

5. Most importantly, I got to spend at least one night a week with a great group of guys I am lucky to consider my friends. (awwww, look at the Big Sexy getting all sentimental...)

On to the playoff rundown. I thankfully missed the first round beat down at the hands (and tattoed arms) of WIN Financial. Since I missed it, I'm going to imagine the game was nip and tuck all the way until the bottom of the 7th when two infield errors and a walk resulted in the game winning run. Wait that story is coming up... I'm going to imagine the final inning ended in a ball just eluding the outstreached, diving glove of Sean McDaniel. If only he wasn't using his grandfather's, three-fingered, Ty Cobb autograph model and was using a real-life adult's mitt...


By the way... this is why I wasn't there. My second consecutive Gnus around the World picture. It's me and an Alaskan glacier! I'm still waiting on pictures of Howard watching DVD's in Tahoe, Kirk wearing Shakespearian costumes in Ashland, Doug working on his farmer's tan in Santa Barbara, Erik chillaxing on a beach in Hawaii and Ted throwing dollar bills onto a stage in Vegas. Send the pics in fellas!


Onto the final game of the year. You could tell the Bad Gnus wanted this one... Typically, there is not much talk about winning in the dugout, but there was actual palpable interest in the outcome of this game. It started off strongly, as the Bad Gnus loaded the bases with no one out to start off the game. Unfortunately, they could only plate one. Quickly, they were at bat again and once again loaded the bases with no one out. This time they got three runs, but the rally ended when Kirk and Mike couldn't come through with runners on to end the inning. The lack of opening the door that opportunity was beating on hung ominously in the warm August air. The Silver Bullets put together a Bad Gnus inning (hey dudes, that's been trademarked) by putting 6 on the board, aided a bit by some sloppy defense.

The Bad Gnus were not about to let the 7-4 deficit keep them down. They once again loaded the bases and failed to score. Really, we had to strand more baserunners than any team at the Park throughout the season. But with the game on the line, the Gnus came through! The Bad Gnus scored two in the top of the seventh to tie the score. Kevin was the go-ahead run at second as Erik came to the plate. Erik hit a clean single into left as Kevin raced for home. The leftfielder's strong throw home short hopped the lucky catcher and hit him right in the glove just in front of Kevin for the out. Now, I don't want to say the catcher in not athletic but I've seen better hand-eye coordination from ______________. (It's a write your own punchline competition!)

The rally left the game tied going into the bottom of the last inning. With one out, Mike booted a grounder at third to put the winning run on. He advanced to second when Clayton tried to turn a double play before he had the ball in his glove. He moved to third on a uncharisteristic walk by Greg. All of that ugliness preceded a clean single to score the winning run and send the Bad Gnus to coaching soccer, playing fantasy football and working on their boilers for the uncoming cold, winter months.

There were some notable items during the game that didn't come up in the recap. Todd filled in for us on short notice and wore his rollerskates in the outfield. He kept making good catches but all those martini's he had at his broker lunch seemed to catch up with his balance. Good to see Kevin once again. He's played so infrequently, his Gnus shirt looked all bright and shiny. He hit like he hasn't missed a week. Moebs was a hitting machine! He was getting hit after hit. I think he had three of 'em. (Look, I mentioned Bill without attaching a punchline!) But the Newcastle player of the game goes to Howard. Howard left his wife and kids during the middle of his Tahoe vacation to come down just for the game (well, that's the story I'm going with as to why he was there). Howard patrolled left field like a gazelle, making one running catch after another. He also walked (!) and had a couple of hits. Enjoy the smooth taste of a fine Newcastle on your vacation for us.

Well, that does it for the season! But don't stop coming by the site. We are going to have all sorts of off-season activities with the advent of the Bad Gnus Bookclub! More on that later. I think our first discussion meeting is going to be held at the Cal Expo Harness Races. Doug is our rotating Gnu in charge of that event.

We're Goin' Streaking!

Couldn't decide which "streaking" picture should stay... Lemme know. Anyway, the Bad Gnus have now won consecutive games after their 11-8, wire-to-wire victory over the relatively tough T-Sox! The Gnus are peaking just in time for the post season tournament starting next week. Watch out old men, roadies, meatheads, crappy-beer drinkers and Brett!

The Gnus were set up with good karma from the get go. The promotions department at the last minute switched the promotion from Big Sexy Leather Thong night to the much more watchable, Throwback Night! All Bad Gnus were encouraged to wear a vintage Bad Gnus T-shirt from the bottom of their painting clothes drawer and take pride in the long history of this remarkable collection of softball talent. There was a nice variety on hand, but nobody reached back for the colorless effort of the Hardball era. The best part of the promotion was the dusting off of two, first-ballot Bad Gnus Hall of Famers (Hall of Fame inductions will take place in fall... stay tuned). Kevin Bakkie and Derrick Rebensdorf made their first appearances of the year. It was dang good to see my old buddies!

The Gnus went 1-2-3 about as quietly as a team could possibly go in the first, but turned the same trick on the T-Sox in the home half. But in the second inning, keeping with the throwback theme, the Bad Gnus reached into their past and put together a "Gnu Inning". The team pieced together 4 runs on solid hits, walks and misplayed balls. It was going smoothly until the top of the order once again weekly ended things, capped by Mike not being able to keep it on the fairway and hitting his third strike foul.

The Bad Gnus kept a solid 3-4 run lead until they exploded for 3 more in the 6th by long shots by Mike (he kept one fair!) and Keith to give them an 11-4 lead. The T-Sox quickly answered with 4 of their own to cut the lead to 11-8. A quiet top of the 7th for the Bad Gnus set the stage for the a come-from-ahead loss, but they quickly put the T-Sox down in the bottom half to preserve the victory.

The Newcastle Player of the Game is a clear choice this week. Obviously, for the Bad Gnus to win there needs to be contributions for several players and I'll try not to overlook them. Bill came out and toughed out a stiffy (calf from what he's saying) and knocked out a few hits and seemed to always be calling for a pinch runner. Erik played very well. Making some big catches and getting some hits. Sean made a couple nice catches in the outfield and had at least one hit. Seems like I saw him pinch running for Bill a lot. But the hands down winner of the frosty brew has got to be Keith. I think half of the outs we got were Keith making catches a varying difficulty all over the unmowed grass in left field. Plus he drilled a triple that he turned into a double for a needed insurance run. Great game, Keith.

Keeping up with Gnus around the world, here's a picture of me at the beautiful Jackson Meadows Lake north of Truckee. That is a very special place for me and it never gets any less beautiful. Thumbs down for Greg not bringing his shirt. I know there are lots of traveling Gnus in August. Take your shirt and send me the pics. I don't want the next picture posted here to be of me again.

The next post will be on the upcoming post season tournament. That will be up tomorrow at the latest. First game is Tuesday, August 5 at 7:00 against WIN Financial.

10 More Years...

And the Hanks will be our Be-yotch! We keep getting closer and closer. This time only giving up 7 runs in the 7-1 loss. Ima say we beat them when they turn 70. I'm sure that half of the Hanks 7 runs were unearned. (Math geek joke...).

There wasn't much to say about this game. We were able to recruit two talented subs (future Gnus??) after many of the 14 people on our roster did not show. Scott Pettinato and Greg Young picked up the slack and played great defense but were unable to single handedly push us above a single run. I know Bill was out with a pulled vagina and Seanny apparently couldn't be there without Bill as noted during their beautiful committment ceremony held in Key West. But several other Gnus were sadly MIA on this beautiful summer night.

There was a very non-competitive field for Newcastle Player of the Game. Greg had two hits after missing half the last game and all of the one previous. He was able to keep the Hanks from stringing together 10 straight hits like they usually do when they face the purple, blue, green and white of the Bad Gnus. The award this week is going to Doug Wormald. He had two solid hits and kinda scored our only run. Mike actually scored the run after he got to run for Doug since he wasn't getting any hits of his own. In fact, the Hanks and the umpire were having a good time reminding the Big Sexy that he was the last out in three different innings. Whatever... f's. Doug also brought cold and tasty Newcastles that hit on me for a couple of hours in the park after the game.

Good news for Bad Gnus not traveling in August... Our season was extended with a double elimination tourney that starts August 4-5! Second game is August 11-12 and if we win one of those we play August 18-19. I know several Gnus cannot make the first game or two. We'll do a headcount closer to the date.

Circle the date! Our monthly feel-good-about-being-a-Bad Gnu game is next Tuesday, as Don't Panic stumbles out of their smokey vans in their faded Pink Floyd t-shirts. Game time, 7:00. See ya then!

It's Summertime and the Gnus Feel Fine

I hope that y'all are enjoying your summer. I appreciate those Gnus who have put off vacation until the end of the season. When you are packing for that trip, don't forget to bring the tie-dye and represent! Our latest installment from Gnus Around The World is Clayton saying "G'day!" right before he put another shrimp on the barbie. Wait, this is Mexico! Playa Del Carmen if Clayton is to be trusted. I think the hat and beautiful blue water threw me off. The only Mexican beach I have seen was in Ensenada where the water is a little browner and has floating Chicklet boxes in it.

Since I have you... I may as well talk about our most recent game. Fueled by the fact that the Muscleheads on WIN Financial either don't know this web address or have had their laptops repossessed, the Big Sexy was a little harsh in my preview last week. Well, after playing them, I don't think I was harsh enough. I don't know whether they were more a bunch of toolboxes or a bunch of douchebags. We may need to put up a website poll. And I don't mean the stripper pole that these guys have custom built into their Bret Michael's inspired bedroom. This vitriol is not just because the Bad Gnus took another 11-7 loss. These guys just were not like the other 7 teams in the league. Wearing team uniform wife beaters, sliding to break up double plays and referring to everyone on the team as "kid" were just symptoms of a bigger, overall team personality disorder happening over there. I'm sure their after game ice chest was full of vodka Red Bulls.

The Gnus competed gamely in this one, tying the score at 7 in the 5th inning. An early inning defensive cluster ffffffffff-udge hand delivered WIN 5 runs. With the slumping Bad Gnus offense, it was just too much to overcome. To their credit, WIN played pretty solid defense throughout, including robbing this bitter author of extra bases in his third at bat.

Next week, the Hanks roll into the Bad Gnus den. We have been getting closer and closer this year to beating the Hanks, narrowly losing 22-1 the last time we met. This week might be our week!

Bad Gnus Lose Squeaker

I guess we would really need to check the definition of "squeaker". When Dog Sexy, Mojo, loses a squeaker, it's because he has ripped his toy "a new one" and the squeaker was then lost. When something just "squeaks" past me at home, it is usually a rat squeaking as he avoids my swinging broom in my garage. This game was somewhere between those outcomes but still involved destruction and smelly beasts. Ahern beat the Bad Gnus on the scoreboard 14-5. That doesn't seem very close when you just look on the surface. This game was much closer than that score indicated.

The important thing was by keeping the game within 16 runs, we didn't have to see B Diddy show at the park in his thin, ripped jockeys trying to tea bag the Big Sexy. The park rangers had been alerted to this threat of sexual assualt and had set up lawn chairs around the perimeter to not miss any minute of it. Freakin' rent-a-cops...

If Ahern played the Bad Gnus 10 times, they would likely beat us 9. The frustrating part of this game for the Bad Gnus is this really felt like this was the 1 time. If we could have only got the occassional clutch hit or spectacular defensive play or if Brett was there to kill a rally or two, the Gnus could have taken them on this night.

It started off on the right foot for the good guys. After two innings, the Bad Gnus held a 2-0 lead but ominously left 5 runners on base. In the top of third, Ahern got a handful of breaks that they neither need nor deserve. Blooping hits here, sneaking hits between infielders there and taking advantage of some defensive miscues, Ahern put up 7 runs. It seemed more like 5 and I wouldn't put it past the scorekeeper to trade some extra runs for some Coors Lights.

So with the score either 7-2 or 5-2 depending on who you believe, the Bad Gnus kept getting runners on, scoring a couple and leaving a few on. The turning point was the bottom of the 4th. With the Bad Gnus trailing 8-5, they promptly loaded the bases with one out and didn't get any runs. That rejection was all the action the Gnus had in them. After they shot blanks that inning, they rolled over and went to sleep for the rest of the game.

Ahern put together at least one other big inning to stretch out the lead. But we all know the game was well within reach.

It was a very difficult call regarding the Newcastle Player of the Game this week... Bill Moebs pitched spectacularly. He even got a hit! In the late innings, he came over and gave Mike a much needed hug in the middle of the inning after they were both too slow to catch a pop up in foul ground. Grabbing Mike's significant ass was a little unnecessary, but Bill can get handsy. The winner this week goes to Erik. He made a great catch in the outfield. Had a solid, two-run single when we were rallying. The tiebreaker goes to Erik as he also brought both and ice chest and a water jug full of beer.

Next week, the new blood of Arden Park gets their first taste of the tye-dyed wonder of the Bad Gnus. WIN Financial is a team that each of the other teams in the league want to beat. Not only for their barbed-wired arm tats coming out of wife beaters, their fancy cars and boats, their plastic women and their generally cocky attitude, but that monstrosity of a house they built across from the park needs to be answered for. Tuesday - 6:00.

Gnus Summer Series

Come out to Arden Park and watch or play with the Bad Gnus. We'll be out here for all your entertainment needs through July. Here's the schedule and the related promotions...

Mon, 6/16 - 7:00 vs. The Long Islanders (Erik Grotte Replica Jeans Night)
Mon, 6/23 - 7:00 vs. Silver Bullets (Kirk Giberson Replica Golf Glove Night)
Tues, 7/01 - 6:00 vs. Ahern (Brett Dodge Brings the Beer Night)
Tues, 7/08 - 6:00 vs. Win Financial Bombers (Bill Moebs Replica Inflatable Doll Night)
Mon, 7/14 - 7:00 vs. Hanks (Howard Hughes Fountain of Youth Night)
Tues, 7/22 - 7:00 vs. Don't Panic (70's Disco Sucks Party Night)
Tues, 7/29 - 6:00 vs. T-Sox (Big Sexy Replica Leather Thong Night)

*** All promotions only available to paying fans between the ages of 18-21 with valid proof of Canadian citizenship, except for Brett Dodge Brings the Beer Night. All beer will be available to anyone who looks at least 21 and Spencer Smith.

Bad Gnus' Spring Season Up in Smoke; Ends on a High

It shouldn't be too surprising considering this just happened 5 weeks ago... However, the Bad Gnus had two very different games this week. On Monday, the Gnus dropped a squeaker to the Hanks, 22-1. The very next night, the beatee was doing the beating. Don't Panic was on the bitch end of a pent-up slapping, 26-6. There were many factors that could have contributed to the quite divergent results.

*Monday... No Howard, no John; Tuesday... No Pete

*Monday... The team used either Pete's nicely labeled bat or Erik's lead pipe; Tuesday... Kirk busted out a new expensive stick

*Monday... Fans drinking beer; Tuesday... Fans drinking Bocce Balls

*Monday... Opponents looked liked old men, played like it was MLB old-timers game; Tuesday... Opponents looked like roadies on the Journey tour, played like park-day at the retirement home.

I think the answer may land more in the last observation.

I don't want to spend too much time on that first game. It all seems a little foggy. It could be the GHB an unnamed Gnu picked up in Key West and slipped into my Sierra Nevada so I didn't remember his at bats. Next time, please don't put my boxers on backward. If I wake up in the middle of the night and want to go "through the gate" and not "over the fence", I end up wetting myself.

I do recall an ugly start of the game. The Bad Gnus were down 15-0 after the first inning. The Hanks scored 15 runs without the benefit of any errors! I think we only made a couple of errors the entire game. Those fogies can rake!

Don't Panic rolled into Arden Park as the big, fat slumpbuster the Gnus needed. I can't be too hard on those hippies as one of them did reach into his hemp man-purse and pull out my missing glove. They unfortunately didn't take the missing bat the same night as they were sure it wouldn't light.

Regarding the game, it went as you might guess... we hit a lot, they made a bunch of errors... what a long, strange trip it's been. The game's outcome was never in doubt. There was much more suspense playing a game of "before or after gametime" as Don't Panic batters approached the plate. Question... when did he last fire up the giggle weed? I don't think Don't Panic will win another game until someone has to play them at 4:20 some Tuesday.

The Newcastle Player of the Game was pretty sticky this week. Keith played like jah, mon! Burning one to the basketball court and smoking rockets all over the grass. He might have been 5 for 5. I didn't see his last at bat, so I'm just going to assume it was a base hit. On most nights, that would have been enough for Keith to Bogart the NPOG. This week, the honor has to go to Kirk. Finally, a Gnu stepped up and laid down some hard earned green on a rip-stick. So far, the offense has been sparked up by this new weapon of choice. Kirk seems to always be getting hits at the plate and taking hits away in the field. I don't remember how many hits he had Tuesday, but the number was quite high. So a big thanks and congrats to Kirk on taking home this week's Newcastle Player of the Game.

This week concluded the Spring Season or Spring Training as veteren Bad Gnus call it. Next week is the first game of the season and the next week of the rest of our lives. Let's make them both great... Peace, love and happiness, brah...

Note: Most of the last few paragraphs were written while listening to Bob Marley and surrounded by burning candles and incense...

Key West Isn't Just for Homos Anymore

Here's Billy with his lovely wife Suzie on their trip to Key West, Florida. The Gnus shirt was the least flamboyent shirt Bill wore all trip, settling either for rainbow-colored, flowing garmets or simply red pasties with tassles on his bare chest. Actually, this was the only photo from the trip in which both Bill and Suzie are dressed. How would you like to be the Fotomat guy with this roll of film? *

*For those younger readers out there, a Fotomat was a place you would have to take your film and they make pictures out of it. Oh, film was something you put in your camera before you pushed the button. Oh, nevermind! Get back to your Flickr accounts and get off my lawn!

It sounds like the Moebs had a wild and fun time for Suzie's 40th. They proved that you are never too old for Spring Break... We'll be watching for Suzie on the Girls Gone Wild commercials. They better check to see if they have saucer-sized font in their graphics department.

I would be remiss to not discuss tonight's game against Ahern. As we are less than 90 minutes from game time, I'm sure none of you will see this post until after the game. I have the rare opportunity to make a few predicitions.

1. The NPOG will be Pete Nixon. He'll be out to show that trading he and Doug to the Silver Bullets for 3 Coors Lights was a mistake last game. He'll also want to use all of those skills he's been teaching the youngin's over the last few months.

2. Brett will make all but one of the 7 plays that we hit to him. But we will all laugh and laugh and give him enough crap about it to make us forget about the other 6.

3. Ted will take a pitch.

4. Doug will finish the game pitching.

5. We will have better beer after the game.

6. Gnus will put together a Gnu inning.

See you all on the other side...

Bad Gnus Break Through!

It is good to finally see what it's like to play against the Bad Gnus... It felt very great to be on the winning end of a softball game for the first time all year. And we did it up big, pounding Don't Panic 16-1. Now we are ready for the second half of the season!

I had a bad dream the night before the game against Don't Panic. I was dreaming that I was on a long train heading into a tunnel just like I do every night, but this time, when I got off the train I was playing softball against a bunch of people who were old enough to be my dad and the middle linebacker for the 49ers. Every pitch we threw, they would drill for a hit. Every time my team was up, we would go 1-2-3... Wait... Are you saying that wasn't all a dream?!? Rats! Well, anyway, I have blocked that game from my memory and we shan't discuss it further... Ok, a couple of points...

We are likely back in the Arden Park softball record books as our first defensive out was not recorded until the Hanks had already batted around once. That's not something you see every day. They were on fire as we were playing them after their first loss of the year. What was up with them playing at least 4 guys younger than me? Usually I can count on getting beat by the cast of Cocoon in their dark green shirts, but letting their grandkids play just didn't work for me. I just wasn't feelin' it, dawg. On the plus side, they didn't bring out the ultra annoying woman who screams at every hit. Silver linings fellas, silver linings.

When the dust around home plate had settled, the Hanks had dropped 26 runs on us. I don't think we even got a runner to third base all game. That was bad enough, but to see Kirk running to his car after the game like he was late for a tee time, yanking the tye dye off as he went, was a little disheartening. At least Kirk showed up the next night. New Gnu Kevin Williams left right after the game and hasn't been seen since. I hear he posted an ad on Craig's List looking for a new team. (Give us another shot, Kev.)

Enough of that mess. You are only as good as your last game, so baby, we're the best team in the league! So many good things happened in that game, I can't list them all here. I remember Eight Belles, hitting a double way over everyone's head to the tennis courts. Don't shoot Doug yet! He's still got power in that bat. He also made a nice back handed play at first base and gimped his way to the bag ahead of the runner. Doug nearly galloped away with the NPOG. Clayton got a hit! That's very exciting. Sean made a cute little running grab in the outfield. I like how he jumped in the air and clicked his heels together when he made the catch. I knew we were in for a special night when I saw that.

After much consideration by the committee, the Newcastle Player of the Game goes to the Big Sexy! He had a fine game at third and four hits in the game. One of those even went over the shortstop and not the third baseman. Way to go the opposite way! The amazing part is that he did all of this while warding off the advances of the very energetic umpire. I haven't been hit on so much since that Halloween when I stumbled through Rancho in a chicken costume and was mistaken for a pinata by the neighborhood kids. Fearing spending a few nights in the bottom of a well, lotioning myself, while the umpire finished plans for making his own Big Sexy suit, Mike was still able to focus on his game. Enjoy this smooth brew, on us, Mike.

I'm very much looking forward to our next game, the first in the second half and our second win in a row. It is Monday at 7:00 against the T-Sox. See you then!

2008 Entertainment Must-Haves

I threatened that if we didn't start playing some softball, I'd break back into entertainment news...

Top 6 Albums of 2008 (after 4 months)

1. The Racontuers - Consolers of the Lonely

2. Louis XIV - Slick Dogs and Ponies

3. Vampire Weekend - (Self Titled)

4. Jack Johnson - Sleep Throught the Static

5. The Presidents of the USA - These Are the Good Times People

6. The Black Keys - Attack & Release

Already some tasty music so far this year. The rankings will flucuate throughout the year and are inconsequential at this point. Just go pick up these CDs if you haven't already.

Now back to softball. Once again the Bad Gnus left their bats at home. Next week, we will have a sports psychiatrist visit us in the Bad Gnus locker room (The Longshot??) before the game. We have a double header week including games against the best team and (hopefully) the worst team in the league.

The first half of the Spring season has always been considered Spring Training for the Bad Gnus, so no one is really too worried at this point. A split this week will get us on the right foot for the second half. By the Summer League, the Gnus will be virtually unstoppable. That is if by "virtually", you mean in some kind of alternate, computer generated universe and if by "unstoppable" you mean out of control with no real direction or purpose.

This week, as with last, we lost by around 10 to around 3 and we never really seemed to be in too threatening of a position to get in it. I do remember thinking good thoughts about Kirk against Ahern and that he is the Newcastle Player of the Game. Against the T Sox, my brain hurts trying to remember a star performance. Clayton kept his perfect season going. Mike bled diving for a ball then throwing it away. Kirk was robbed of a couple of hits. Doug didn't give up any runs in his inning of pitching. So, let's give it to Erik. He got a fly ball and brought beer.

Next week we either read about some hot, two team softball action or the movies I'm most looking forward to seeing this summer... you choose.

Gnus Lose Another Close One

Biting fingernails is one of the Big Sexy's many bad habits. Losing all these one run games has got to be tough on my cuticles. Maybe I'll have to join Clayton on his next manicure appointment. I will not be joining him for his monthly Brazilian, however. I'll keep my waxing to "waxing poetic" here on your favorite blog.

While the Bad Gnus are waiting around for their bats to wake up, their surprisingly stingy defense has been keeping them in games. Two weeks ago was the best defensive game in the long history of the Gnus, at least in this writer's short memory. There were double plays, multiple outs at the plate and three spectacular defensive plays. Doug made an excellent lunging grab on a liner to first with the bases loaded. Newcastle Player of the Game Kirk Giberson shocked everyone by getting the khaki's dirty, diving for grounder up the middle and getting the force at second to end another bases loaded threat. Sean followed all that up with a full-on, laid out, diving catch in the outfield to snuff out another rally. There hasn't been that many Gnus laying face down at Arden Park since the last Concert in the Park. The Bad Gnus only surrended three runs in seven innings. Unfortunately, that's all the Long Islanders would need.

This week didn't have quite the defensive prowess, but emergency starting pitcher Maves and relief pitcher Wormald threw a remarkable number of strikes and the defense kept it close. After Newcastle Player of this Game, Howard Hughes hit a 3 run home run in the bottom of the 6th, it appears that the Bad Gnus would finally be drinking celebration ale after the game instead of the bitter loser's lager they have enjoyed the previous weeks. Unfortunately, the Silver Bullets, with only their weak-ass Coors Light waiting for them, put together a rally in the top of the 7th. The stage was set for a dramatic bottom of the 7th win! The first couple of batters reached base awaiting their triumphent dash for home. Clayton smashed one to third, but still unable to sacrifice the rooster to the hitting gods, could not get a hit. Tuesday Ted had the last chance to be the hero. He fought off the first pitch for a foul pop to the bleachers behind the first base dugout. The next pitch was another sinker that he once again fouled off to the bleachers. Wouldn't you know, the pitcher once again went to the same sinker and Teddy Ballgame ended the ballgame with a foul pop to the bleachers. I honestly don't think Ted could hit the ball there if he tried. On the plus side, he's much more likely to actually take a pitch this year than do that again.

I think next week will really be the week for the Bad Gnus... See you Tuesday at 6:45!

Season Wakes Up Slowly, Groggy

Not much of a surprise for long time fans and followers of the Bad Gnus, but the team stumbled out of the gate a bit on a beautiful, early Spring day in Arden Park. Not mentioning the unfortunate outcome of the game there were some positives and negatives to highlight in game 1 of the 2008 season.

Let's start with the positives...

1. We had 10 people at least 10 minutes before game time. Last Spring, attendance was a big issue and it looks like we are on the right track so far.

2. Only one Gnu fell for (well, actually one one admitted to falling) for Mike's April Fool's joke about adopting cute little Phoc Yu Maves. We decided against it as it would've split up Phoc for her twin, Phoc Mi. (John - I'm kidding again.)

3. Showing trademark resilency, the Bad Gnus rallied from a 9-1 deficit after 5 innings to make it a close game, losing 9-7. Dang... I wasn't going to mention the outcome.

Now, a few negatives...

1. The first time or two through the lineup, the Bad Gnus looked like their layoff was closer to 8 years than 8 months. The bats will come though. The last couple innings showed we had some solid hits in us. We even had several nice bats in our arsenal for game one. Warning... Howard will not be at the next game.

2. No one brought beer to opening day. Dudes! Above all else, our ice chest needs to outperform our opponent's ice chest. I'm just glad I didn't have time to stay for one anyway or this post might has started with this transgression. I'm manning up and bringing next week.

3. During the middle of the game, I noticed that of the 3 women that were at the game, only new fan, Kristin Calderon was on our side of the bleachers. Sure, she might have been trying to figure out how we spell "Phoc" for the quilt she was making for me, but she was still representing on our side. Two other women were sitting behing the other team's bench, looking into the sun. It is usually much later in the evening that the women of the Bad Gnus switch teams. Let's hope that kind of shenanagans doesn't continue unless it is a veiled attempt to sneak beers out of the oppositions ice chest.

Newcastle Player of the Game - As the committee mulled this over, they kept coming back to Clayton Smith as the obvious choice. First, he brought a new bat. It might be the only legal bat we have for next week. Second, Clayton is this year's first Gnu to bleed as he ripped his fingernail while giving himself a manicure between innings. He's trying to say it happened while making an error at second base. Either way, not manly. Keep the right hand for throwing and high fiving during the games. Last and most importantly, Clayton was the first person to hand Mike a check after the game. Way to go Clayton, this Newcastle's for you!

Next game is Monday, April 7 at 6:30. Don't forget to bring me $30. Sadly, we are no longer sponsored and need to pick up our own tab.

To finish up enjoy this picture of Seanny Mac a couple months back in Kauai and pretend you are on that cliff instead of reading these words at your desk...

2008 Spring Schedule

Big ups to Lisa at Arden Park who scheduled these games around the Arden Little League Minor Pirates! (Sorry if you aren't affiliated with the Minor Pirates.)

Here are the games:

Tuesday, April 1 @ 5:30 vs. The Long Islanders
Monday, April 7 @ 6:30 vs. The Long Islanders
Tuesday, April 15 @ 5:45 vs. Silver Bullets
Tuesday, April 22@ 6:45 vs. Don't Panic
Tuesday, April 29 @ 7:00 vs. T-Sox
Monday, May 5 @ 6:00 vs. Hanks
Tuesday, May 6 @ 7:00 vs. Ahern
Monday, May 12 @ 7:00 vs. T-Sox
Monday, May 19 @ 7:00 vs. Silver Bullets
Tuesday, June 3 @ 6:00 vs. Don't Panic
Monday, June 9 @ 6:00 vs. Hanks
Tuesday, June 10 @ 7:00 vs. Ahern

2008 Bad Gnus Media Guide

After some deliberation and Arden Park schedule messaging, the Bad Gnus are a go for their 17th year! This addition of the Bad Gnus will have two new players who will be pulling on the tye-dye for the first time. To allow them to quickly immerse themselves into the world of the Bad Gnus, I thought I would publish this Media Guide that, for each player, may or may not include (1) a remarkable moment in Gnu history and/or (2) a bald faced lie and/or (3) a description of what to expect in 2008.

Bad Gnus History

The Bad Gnus originated in 1991 with a collection of friends of the Big Sexy (including Greg, Kevin and Howard) and a collection of friends of co-founder Sham Sidhu (including Derrick Rebensdorf). The first few seasons of this band of mostly 20-somethings typically culminated in second place finishes, always seeming to lose to the team with beer bellies and knee braces. We figured once the beer stuck and the knees gave, we'd be on top. It doesn't always work out that way...

Sham couldn't let bygones be bygones after Mike laid him off from his job and the team split after a year or so and they moved the the Sacramento Softball Complex. After several more years of second place finishes, the wheels started to get a little creeky on the Bad Gnus machine. Scores of the games started to resemble football games... and I mean those of Sac State versus anybody not actually competitive football. The Bad Gnus decided to move closer to home and play teams comprised of people their own age. Unfortunately, the Bad Gnus have not regained their hold on second place that they enjoyed for much of their early years. They have now settled into a .500 team who takes enjoyment from having better beer after the game then their opponent. However, every Gnu, whether a grizzled 17 year veteran or the fresh faced rookie knows in their heart that one day they will put it all back together and take second place in the Arden Park league. You're never too old to dream...

Bad Gnus Player Profiles

Mike - The self-glossed "Big Sexy" is the founder, manager and third basemen of the Bad Gnus. Sure there are others that may play third base better, but it's his team dog gummit! Mike hits every ball within 15 feet of the left field foul line. Sometimes they are hits, sometimes they are outs, but he has stopped trying to do anything else. Most importantly, he likes to read his own writing and type whatever pops into his head instead of working, so you get this web-pollution to deal with every so often.

Greg - Long time pitcher of the Gnus. Greg may or may not be the oldest Bad Gnu on the roster, but no one was happier with our move to day games only. Now he can have his dinner at 4, digest, and get the game right before his bed time. It's good to be on a schedule and keep things regular. Greg is the all-time Bad Gnus leader in player ejections. Between hard slides into second to badgering umpires, Greg always has given the Bad Gnus a bit of a frisky edge from the rubber.

Kevin - Another O.G. (original Gnu), Kevin has long preferred the typically hard to fill position of catcher. He has been the best catcher in most of the leagues that we play in. From jumping out to catch pop ups to blocking the plate in the days of plays at the plate, Kevin has given us good defense from a position that is often an after-thought. Kev likes to slice his left handed swing to drop balls into short left field, just to tick off the other team. He is the all-time Bad Gnus leader in concussions/near-loss-of-consciousness between laying on the bathroom floor from heat exhaustion to running head first into the backstop, no Gnu has spent more time laying down.

Howard - Triple H is the only Gnu who looks the same as he did 17 years ago when he first galloped out to left field. He still collects multiple hits each game and still runs down fly balls in the gap. His mantel has overflowed with Pyramid/Sam Adams/Newcastle player of the game awards. He is a first ballot, Gnu Hall of Famer.

Keith - The longest tenure of the any Gnu that was not an O.G. Keith is the only player in Gnu history to have played all 10 positions. That's flexibility, Homes.

Erik - Least likely to skin his knees in a game due to his penchant for wearing jeans. Erik has a high percentage of defense plays of the game. With some wire rimmed sunglasses, he looks most like he is going to attend a concert after the game wearing his jersey.

Doug - The last Gnu to hit an over-the-fence homerun. In our last season at the Complex, using Crackhead Joaquin's "sponsored" bat, Doug hit a big fly onto the street beyond the left field wall. It was likely the only extra base hit of any kind the Gnus had that season.

Sean - Scrappy outfielder who likes to make the difficult plays look easy and the easy plays look difficult. Sean also acts as the back up blogger when the Big Sexy is unavailable.

Kirk - Always looks more ready to play 18 holes than 7 innings. Good news for 2008... our talented shortstop now has a glove younger than me. He still may try to play in his golf spikes.

Clayton - Ready to shake off the rookie hazing from last year and move forward with his Bad Gnus career. We'll never forget Clayton wearing that Hooters uniform in the game against Ahern last year...

John Calderon - Rookie - Responsible for carrying the team equipment bags and bringing moist towlettes to the infielders between innings.

Kevin Williams - Rookie - Responsible for picking up the dinner bill on road trips and cleaning any dog fesces off the outfielders' cleats between innings.

That's the starting 12. Other Gnus on the roster who will see game action this spring include:

Dr. John - John claims he can only see the third base coach through one eye and that's why he constantly runs through stop signs for the ever-exciting play at the plate. We're just excited he's running to third in the first place... Scoring would just be gravy.

Pete - Certainly the most athletic Gnu but still not as talented as the lovely Mrs. Nixon. Despite all of Pete's past or future exploits, his Bad Gnu highlight will forever be the game at the complex when he neutered a runner on the other team with a thrown ball from shortstop in a very lopsided (well, he is now) affair. He also hosted the first annual Bad Gnus retreat last summer, so big ups to Pete.

Tuesday Ted - Very nimble fill-in shortstop and outfielder. Ted doesn't play Monday's as that is when his barbershop quartet practices. Ted does have the second best taste in music on the team. I'm going to guess Erik is third and then there's a big drop off, but that could all be debated.

Billy - If the Bad Gnus needed to add to the party quotient on the team, they did an excellent job picking up this fella a couple of years ago. He's one of the few Gnus that can go the other way, but we always suspected Bill goes both ways.

Derrick - Another first ballot Gnu Hall of Famer. We don't see much of Derrick as he is growing his own major league prospect out in the Naturalesque corn fields of Elk Grove. Back in the day, Derrick was an automatic solid basehit and looked more like a ballplayer than anyone on the team. Hopefully he will get out for a few games this year.

Here's to a successful 2008! First game is in less than 2 weeks!

Beer of the Year - 2007

All of the breweries have been hounding me for weeks to finally put out the results of the BS award for Beer of the Year. It is the most prestigious of all of the BS awards. I wanted to make sure to get the results out in time for the lucky winners to attach this distinctive award as a centerpiece to their Super Bowl advertising.

This year, I have added a special category for vacation beer. I had the great fortune to do an insane amount of vacation travel in 2007. Somehow, I always found a way to sneak some beer into the equation. Each locale of 2007 has it's own distinctive Beer of the Year along with the best place on the trip to sample it.

Vacation Beers

New York - Feb 2007: Magic Hat #8 - sitting in a booth shaped like a baseball glove at JFK airport. Might sound like an odd place to enjoy a meal, but did I mention the booth is shaped like a baseball glove? Sad story, when I returned to this location in November, the New Jersey Who-er that was slowly waiting tables informed me that they discontinued that beer.

Chicago - June 2007: Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat - crammed into the hopping Murphy's outside of the Wrigley Field bleachers. There were several different types of Leinie's on this trip and some of them tried too hard to inject it with flavor, but this lemony summer beer was my fave. And if you ever find yourself in the Chicago area, do yourself a favor; get bleacher tickets and spend some time pregame and postgame at Murphy's.

Mexico - August 2007: Pacifico - little lunch spot in Ensenada. Not a very inspired choice, but I love a cool Pacifico on a hot day... It goes down even smoother after a couple of complementary shots of tequila from my friend on the street. Somehow, I don't remember his name.

Paris - November 2007: Kronenbourg 1664 - McDonald's. I really didn't drink much beer in Paris for a two main reasons: red and white. Only partly kidding there. If you are not drinking wine in France, and I mean instead of soda, you are missing the boat. Plus the beer in France is really an afterthought. But if you are jonesing for some hops and barley, it's fun to be able to go into a McDonald's and order a beer to go with your Royale with Cheese. It's the little differences...

London - November 2007: Tie between Young's Bitter and Fuller's London Pride, cellar cooled. Hard to pick one place because there were soooo many cool pubs. But worth mentioning are The Porcupine, Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese and several others I can picture but don't remember their names. The good news is their are sooooo many pubs that I haven't visited yet in London. I love pubs! Went on two pub crawls on the first night in London. And London is a city that likes to get their beer on! Fancyapint? Cheers!

Beer of the Year

1. Pyramid Amberweisen on tap - As the beer of the night at my birthday party, this one has to take the cake. I wish it were a little easier to get, but the journey is worth the reward.

2. Newcastle - Always near or at the top of this list every year. We are still looking for that elusive Newcastle sponsorship for the Bad Gnus.

3. Fuller's London Pride - It's expensive stateside, but a tasty reward when you want to enjoy a real British ale.

4. Samuel Adams Light - Hard to believe that this is my favorite beer of the year from my second favorite brewery, but for day in and day out refreshment, I always like to reach for this silver label.

5. Samuel Adams Octoberfest - Maybe it is because it only comes out for a few months every year, but this is my favorite seasonal beer.

Best of the Rest (in no particular order): Sac Brewing Miner's Pale Ale, Pyramid Apricot Ale (I'm sticking with the original name here) Brew It Up Midsummer Honey, Samuel Adams Summer Ale, Leine's Sunset Wheat.

Here's to a tasty and righteous 2008... Party on!

Best Bands of 2007

The BS Awards in this category do not actually include the best band of the year as that is kinda album of the year. The award for Best New Band is for bands I had not heard of prior to the year. Yeah, they were probably around. But if I haven't heard of them, can they really exist? The award for Breakout Band is for bands that I have heard of but I just never really embraced of appreciated as much as I do now.

Best New Band

1. Art Brut - A very late entry but they took over my ipod at the end of the year and have rocketed to the top of bands that I want to see live. I found them through one of the Top Podcasts of 2007 (awards handed out later), NPR - All Songs Considered. Always a sucker for clever lyrics and upbeat rock, Art Brut delivers both. Each song is a little story, with the lead singer really talking more than singing. Love them!

2. The Fratellis - They hung around all year, get multiple plays on the ipod. Great upbeat party rock.

3. Flight of the Conchords - Hopefully some of you have checked out the HBO show. If not, you have to see the first 4 first. They are gold. It's hard to give a music award to a tv show, but they deserve it. Funny dudes singing fun songs.

4. (tie) Office & 1990s - I got into these two bands at the same time and they kinda sound alike so it is hard for me to decide which band is which much less who is better, so they tie.

Breakout Band of the Year

1. Electric Six - Glam/dance rock that sounds like a bit of a combination of Louis XIV and Tenacious D. Another upbeat band with clever lyrics that keep me shakin' and laughin'. Another band I didn't really get into until the end of the year, but when I did I fell into them in a big way.

2. The Hold Steady - If Bruce Springsteen really rocked, he'd sound like this. Good story telling in the songs though most of it ends up with him getting high. Not all songs are winners, but I got enough for a sweet ipod playlist.

3. Incubus - I really liked their album Light Grenades out this year. It led me to download some of their past songs that I just kind of glazed over. Incubus used to always be a fringe band for me. I wouldn't change the radio if they were on, but I never really bought much of their stuff. Now I have a nice collection.

4. Radiohead - This is the most surprising entry for me on this list. Radiohead has been a huge band for years and I just never really got it. With their clever sales promotion of letting the customers determine the price for download of the album, I couldn't resist downloading it. I played it a few times at work and thought it was ok. Then I listening to it with headphones and heard it all in a completely different light. I cannot really categorize the music and maybe that was my problem before. It's not really rock. It's more alternative, but it's not emo or new wave. Anyway, welcome to my world Radiohead.

5. Tokyo Police Club - There's a big drop off here from the top four, but I downloaded a few songs from this band this year that I really liked.

2007 BS Album of the Year

This was a remarkable year for great albums for me. I am having a very hard time ranking the top of the list, so I am going to put them into two groups of best albums of the year. Outstanding and Super. The Super albums I played over and over and really think they are special, but they just didn't crack the top 5. I still highly recommend them.

Super

Spring Awakening Soundtrack. I've never enjoyed a soundtrack album or a musical as much a this one. It rocks. It's emotional. I laughed. I cried. I might have said it before - go see this musical if you get a chance.

Radiohead - In Rainbows. Never really got into Radiohead before. Give them huge ups for allowing people to log onto their website and pay whatever they would like to download the album. It suckered me in and I even gave them 2 pound fifty for it. I listened to it a few time over speakers and was indifferent. Then I put on my headphones and really took in the music. It is really hard for me to categorize. The album is really a sonic journey not a collection of songs. Anyway, I dug it, so it makes the list.

Fall Out Boy - Infinity on High. Another album with a bunch of good songs, but I was never moved enough by the entirity of the album. The previous 2 FOB albums were great from start to finish. I thought this had a couple of holes.

The Fratellis - Costello Music. Best album by a new band of the year. The songs are short, infectious, booty shaking songs. So maybe you can only understand every third word out of their Scottish mouths, my hips don't mind.

Incubus - Light Grenades. There were many very good singles on this album but not enough of a complete album to elevate into the top 5.

Outstanding

1. Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. This is the most thoroughly enjoying album from start to finish for me. There are rockin' songs and cool out songs. I usually need to hear Modest Mouse songs a few times before they sink in. But when I do they take root in me and I absolutely love it. I can't make out the meanings in most of the songs. They are big on the metaphors and I wish I had a key to it. They stuck to a nautical theme throughout the album, but I don't know what it means. Methinks Isaac Bruce enjoys the halluciangenics more than I do. But the feelings in the song are what's important here. Congrats Modest Mouse on your BS Award for Album of the year.

2. The White Stripes - Icky Thump. While it very cute to hear my 9 year Guitar Hero, Jackson singing "If Americans don't got nothing better to do, kick yourself out, you're an immigrant too" the next line including "you can't be a pimp and a prostitute, too" is not quite as cute. Meg White may be the only member of any band that I think I can replace. It certainly isn't the complex percussion that makes this band rock. Jack White is a musical genius. Again, some of these songs just don't hit with me so it cannot win album of the year, but it is very near the top.

3. Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga. Excellent album from start to finish. Good crisp, clean music that I listened to over and over and just really enjoyed.

4. Queens of the Stone Age - Era Vulgaris. An excellent album! QOTSA will probably never be able to put out an album without 2 or 3 songs that I just cannot listen to. But carving those out, Era Vulgaris might be my favorite Queens album. The cream of this album made for an superb Queens-Royalty mix for the iSexy.

5. Foo Fighters - Echos, Silence, Patience & Grace. I love the Foo Fighters and a number of their songs have made mixes through the year, but the album as a whole is just missing something. I loved The Pretender and Stranger Things Have Happened (see songs of the year BS awards!), but the hits weren't consistent enough to be on top. I think too many of the songs on this album went for the "whisper to a scream" trademark that the Foos have used successfully in the past. Still a great album.

Ok, so I went ahead and ranked them... I can't stop myself.

2007 BS Music Awards

This is always my favorite ranking of all of them. I spend more time doing this during the last couple months of the year than I should. But I love music and finding new music. Some music makes me want to get up and shake it... some makes me feel like I have a plate of warm, gooey cookies on my lap.


I am listing these songs in roughly their ranking for the year along with maybe a reason or maybe a lyric (if it made my 10 fave lyrics of the year) that I either found clever or just loved singing along too. I think it might be possible that some of you have not heard of all of these bands and songs or they might not be on your Most Played list on your ipod. If not, give the music on this list a try...


Top 20 Songs of the Year


1. The Pretender by Foo Fighters. The Foos are likley my favorite band and this song rocks with some of the best music they ever put out.


2. 3's & 7's by The Queens of the Stone Age. QOTSA never fials to rock. Now I'm strumming along to this on GH3! "Lie. Lie to my fa-ace. Tell me it ain't, no, thing. That's what I wanna hear."


3. Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six. One of several of songs on this list that is actually a couple years old. But it's new to me! This is a funk blowout with an over the top singer that turns me into a bobblehead as I drive down the road. "Fire in the disco, fire in the... Taco Bell"


4. There's a Traitor in this Room by Louis XIV. Release your dang new album already! I love Louis XIV and this song puts them right where they left off two years ago. "I can be so sweet to you (until I find the right excuse)"


5. Don't Make Me a Target by Spoon. Great song by a wonderful band.


6. Chips Ahoy by The Hold Steady. Glad I finally found this band. Good story telling songs. "She put $900 - on the 5th horse - in the 6th race. I think its name was Chips Ahoy".


7. Flathead by The Fratellis. I don't usually find my new music from TV ads but this song in an ipod ad introduced me to this rockin Scottish band.


8. Thrash Unreal by Against Me! Pretty upbeat song about a female junkie getting older, but if it doesn't bring you down, it rocks. "She can still hear that Rebel Yell just as loud as it was in 1983"


9. The Take Over, The Break's Over by Fall Out Boy. Here's a way to feel old... Go to a Fall Out Boy concert and be the only ones there that can buy beer, dance on the main floor and not need to meet your kid in front of the arena. Perhaps fave lyric of the year "They say your mind is a prison, well then these are just conjugal visits."


10. This is the End (For You My Friend) by Anti-Flag. Another song that is a couple years old, but new to me. Maybe they were just ahead of their time.


11. Anna Molly by Incubus. It's hard to even find music videos nowadays but this one is pretty creepy. The song rocks though.


12. Icky Thump by The White Stripes. It must be the tight, complex drumming that makes me love the White Stripes.


13. Good Night From Chicago by Burden Brothers. This was technically a 2006 album but this song didn't make a mix until 2007. The song rocks. "Close my eyes, snap my fingers and you'll just disappear." Would be much higher on the list if it hasn't been around so long for me.


14. Dashboard by Modest Mouse. With Modest Mouse the album is typically greater than the sum of its parts, but this song stands out from an album that you will read about for the BS award for album of the year.


15. Oh My by Office.


16. Totally Fucked from Spring Awakening. On it's own, the song is a good song. But to see it live, in context of the story of the musical, it is amazing. This release song comes right at the apex of sorrow, grief and angst. Perhaps never a better song in context of a musical. It is even better sitting on the stage where the whirl of dancing and jumping cast members makes you want to get up and jump around with them. This musical is coming to SF in 2008. I implore you to go check it out. (PS. Don't take your kids!)


17. Valerie by The Zutons. It's a couple years old and it survived a butchering of a remake by Mark Ronson, but I dig it.


18. Jane Fonda by Mickey Avalon. "1, 2, 3, 4 - get you booty on the dance floor." I'm predicting that it is the only Mickey Avalon song that will ever make my ipod, but who knows?


19. Your English is Good by Tokyo Police Club.


20. You Made Me Like It by 1990s.



Top 5 Cool Out Songs of 2007


Back when I was in college and I wanted to escape the world around me, I'd make my room as dark as I could and listen to a selected "cool out" song through headphones to just release me. I would lower my pulse, take fewer breaths and let the music lift me into the clouds of my mind. I still try to achieve that inner peace through music. These are my top 5 Cool Outs for 2007...


1. Stranger Things Have Happened by Foo Fighters - A rare double win! Song of the year and Cool Out of the year. Will it be enough to propel Echos, Silence, Patience & Grace to album of the year? Check back to find out!


2. Little Motel by Modest Mouse - I never feel comfortable deciding what Modest Mouse songs are about. This is either a love song, a break up song or a death song. But definitely not about a motel at all.


3. Black Like Me by Spoon - The only downside of the song is the dead air at the end.


4. All I Need by Radiohead - This band really works best with headphones and eyes closed. This song is really more of a sonic experience than the words that Thom Yorke sings.


5. (tie) Those You've Known from Spring Awakening - Griping and emotional song about coping with the loss of those close to you. Have I mentioned that you must see this musical?


5. (tie) Your Ex-Lover is Dead by Stars - Male and Female vocals, the strings and the building music make for a powerful song wrapped as a short story.


So there you have it. Check these songs out before a whole new batch for 2008 are filtered through my ipod.