Guest Columnists Save the Day as Gnus Roll...

First, Billy Moebs chimes in with the report...

Since Mike was working the mosh pit at the Queens of the Stone Age concert last night, I assume he won't be able to send one his lovely poems/songs/essays about the game. Let me sum it up in a few sentences:

TED - you the man- great job last night at shortstop. Couldn't have added the win to our record without all the double plays.

Gnu Team - nice job working the pitcher and getting so many walks (except Clayton) :) the extra base runners helped with all the scoring.

And lastly, thanks to Greg for bringing the adult beverages. It was nice to have a cold one after a hard fought battle.

Billy


Then Seanny McD responded with a perhaps more important rundown of the game, the postgame beverage analysis...

Great recap Billy aka "Lil' Sexy". But what summary wouldn't be complete without a top 5 list to go along with it. ...So here goes.. My top 5 beers from Greg's ice chest after last night's game.

1. Gordon Biersch Blond Bock - Ice cold, and refreshing. Perfect brew to start the post game festivus.

2. Sam Adams Light - Had to bring it back to 'ol team sponsor, but still keeping it light, tight and right.

3. Sam Adams Boston Lager - After 2 sandwiches in a can who cares about light beer anymore...Give me the O-riginal!

4. Fat Tire Ale - Not my fave, but when its all that's left in the chest..."what's a 1 at 10 is a 10 at 1"....

5. Coors Light - OK, this wasn't in Greg's chest, but when your infield consists of 3 Ahern fill-ins, you might as well pilfer some from their ice-box.

Rack me.

Breaking Mike's 5 year streak of best post game summary, Sean wins post game summary of the week! We'll see if Mike can take back his title following the T-Sox rematch game. They might think the outcome would be different playing a team of all Gnus. We'll just have to see about that.

A Letter from the Nixon Cabin Bear

First off, I am not the godless killing machine that some talk show hosts make me out to be. I'm a herbovoir. Heck, as a Californian, I'm more into veggies than BBQ'd man-meat. Just keep putting your trash out in the open and I won't have to destroy anything to get those tasty leftovers. Hanging by the Nixon's cabin, I get all sorts of healthy leftovers. Those people eat nothing but salads and tofu. I've dropped 50 pounds since I relocated from outside Sally Musso's cabin and moved to North Tahoe.

I'm looking forward to all of you guys coming up to join me. In fact, even if you haven't said you are coming up yet, feel free to come up just for the day. We have a lot of fun events planned from the bear beer golf tourneyment on Saturday morning to the "bare" midnight run through the woods. Don't worry, no cameras will be allowed.

A little word of warning... I hope that Bill Moebs is not planning on attending. Yogi has a can of whupp-ass he is planning on opening if he sees him. Apparently, Yogi didn't take too kindly to how much attention Bill paid to Cindy Bear's nether-regions last time he was in the woods. It was one joke after another about looking in her pic-a-nica basket, putting out her forest fire down below and climbing his sturdy pine.

Here's the plan for this weekend... Mike is going up early on Friday. His phone number is 548-8587. Give him a call at any time and he will give you directions to the cabin. There is plenty of room for anyone to bunk down and there is plenty of beer to quench your summer thirst. Mike is going to get a keg of good beer and buy some munchies and food for a bbq around on Saturday night. This entire vacation will be yours for the low cost of $40 per human. Make sure to pay Mike when you get a chance. If you are going up on Friday, bring a bike. If you can't bring a bike you can rent one. Either way, I here those bipeds are going to ride up to a sweet riverside drinking establishment.I hope to see you all this coming weekend, July 20-22. I promise I will not bite and leave a mark. I don't promise that I will not call my buddies the skunk, raccoon and porcupine to laugh at your asses as we eat all of your leftover tri-tip as your are "sleeping" on the deck.

Party on!!!

Gnus Around the World

We are starting a new project...

Take your colorful Bad Gnus shirt on vacation with you and send me a picture of your Gnus shirt around the world. I will post the photos and keep a collection of the pics for a grand summary at some time in the future.

This is our first entrant - Bill Moebs on top of Waimeia in Kauia. Way to represent!!!

Double The Softball, Double the Fun?

That was the hope this week as the Bad Gnus headed into the week in first place and with a perfect record. A lot of great things come in twos. A pair of wins this week could make the top 5. It would push the Bad Gnus much closer to the championship and serve as notice that these guys weren't just the laid back dudes in the cool tie dye who drink only good beer.

Game 1 was against the Hanks. The Hanks who have won 35 championships at Arden Park in the last 40 years with much the same roster. They are always a tough win with their consistent singles hitting, errorless defense and a pitcher who's balls hang just a little longer in the air than younger pitchers. Now I'll admit I have been in a few too many locker rooms with old guys. From what I can tell either from 70 years of gravity or the courage it took to take on the Krauts in WWII (the Big One), old guys balls tend to hang low. Not this guy's. They seem to never come down.

The one thing you don't want when playing the Hanks is three outfielders. Those old guys can place their singles whereever they please. They rain more singles on the grass than PacMan Jones at stripper picnic. It was a bad night to be missing Pete & John (involved in some civil ceremony in Hawaii), Sean (hangover), Kevin (got lost) and Appleton (wrist tendinitis and blurry vision) leaving us with only 9 players. That's when we got a boost from the youngest Gnu and the oldest of Bad Gnus 2, the Next Generation. That's right... Big Sexy's nephew himself, Teen Sexy made his first appearance of the summer season behind the plate. Teen Sexy has arrived on the scene just this past summer. The formerly shy, reserved boy has grown to nearly 6 feet, let his hair get all bushy like the kids do, has a deep tan and a throng of girls following him whereever he goes. He makes an Uncle proud...

As for the game, four outfielders or not, the Hanks put up 5 in the top of the first on a bunch of singles and some uncharacteristically misplayed grounders. That was all they would need. The Gnus pulled to within 5-2, but never got much closer, losing 9-3. The game did have some highlights, but the Gnus bats never consistently hit the changeup from Highballs McGee. The Gnus almost turned a third to second to first double play on a ground ball. That would've be cool. A few people did has multiple hits including Clayton, Mike, Keith and Greg (I think). Sorry if I missed any of you.

That made Game 2 versus Ahern construction nearly a must-win to keep the championship hopes alive. Things looked promising at the start as not only did 11 Gnus show up before the game started, but there were TWO ice chests ready for the post game celebration. Mike has played a couple of times on the Ahern team and would really like to hand the defending league champions a loss.

The first inning started with a bang as Mike drilled a ball over the left fielder and rounded the bases for a three run home run. He didn't touch either first or third base, but Ahern was too stunned to notice. That gave them a 3-0 until the home team responded with two solo home runs of their own and the homerun derby was on. In the second, the Bad Gnus were unable to keep up the dingers coming while Ahern continued their hitting barrage to give them a 6-3 lead they would not relinquish. The Gnus pulled within 7-5 at one time and played solid defense througout, but in the end, they didn't have the bats to keep up with the champs. Ahern wins the second game of the double header 11-7.

The committee had no problem giving the Newcastle Player of the Week to himself. Mike was 5 X 6 in the two games with a homerun and a triple. He also nearly started an infield triple play. Through Ichiro's interpreter after the game, the Big Sexy had this to say, "When traveling through the forest of softball, it is important to remember that the roots of the trees in the dirt and sweet fruit on the branches are from the same organism. If the songbird chooses to sit on it's branches, harmony will spread from the tree throughout the forest and joy will be plentiful." Enjoy the Asahi, Mike.

Big ups to Ted who played with a gnarly looking index finger and Bill who played with himself. Despite the two losses this week, the Bad Gnus played formidable opponents well and looked good doing it. There were many throw back shirts last night... I guess there were a couple of Gnus who didn't just pick up the shirt off the floor from the night before and throw it back on.

Next week is the big revenge game against Don't Panic, Tuesday at 6:00. Don't Panic's victory over the Gnus in May was their first since prior to Herr Bush's Reign of Terror and has been the talk of Arden Park softball for a couple of months. You know they have this game circled on their calendar. Guess what, Ponytails, I have it circled too!

Bad Gnus Winning Streak!

The Bad Gnus have been to the mountain, and it was good. It took 14 games in 2007, but the Bad Gnus finally put together a complete package. Dominating from start to finish, the Bad Gnus used solid defense, flawless pitching, timely hitting and solid beer drinking to dominate the Silver Bullets from the first pitch to the last beer. (That phrase would have been so much better is we were drinking from pitchers!)

Of course, a complete package from the Gnus couldn't be complete without a surprise contribution from Rex Davis. Rex has been on the Bad Gnus since the first game. His spirit has arrived in many different vessels. He has emcompassed a virtual meleting pot of people. He's been fat, skinny, black, white, gainfully employed, likely homeless and vacationing from various parts of the world. But for some reason, no matter the apparent talent level of Rex, he always comes through for the Bad Gnus. This night, Rex was Erik's brother-in-law visiting from Texas. Yee Haw! Rex went 3 X 3 on the night, none bigger than the bases loaded, two-out, two-run single in the bottom of the 6th to give the Gnus the 4 run cushion they would eventually need in the top of the 7th.

Consideration was given for the Newcastle Player of the Game to Rex, but it is oh so hard for committee to give the award to a fill-in. Nice game, but no NPOG for you. Another receiving consideration was Mike who brought beer on back to back weeks and played pretty good d at third. But he was the winner of the Sutter Home White Zinfadel P of the Game for getting a pinch runner all three times he was on base. With a painful calf brought on by a combination of not warming up properly before basketball, getting closer and closer to the big 4-0 and generally having too much junk in his trunk, his calf muscle tightened up. He didn't feel the need to run his own bases... Prima donna. Make sure you take a breath in when taking a sip, big guy. You can't win the Sutter Home and the Newcastle awards concurrently, so he's out.

The Newcastle Player of the Game goes to Clayton! Clayton hit the ball hard, but what really stood out was his excellent defense. He made a great running play in right center with the bases loaded early in the game, made a saving catch on a throw from Mike against his momentum and still turned the double play and was the key part of the Pyramid Defensive Play of the Game. On that play a runner tried to go from 1st to 3rd on a single to Rex in right. Rex got the ball to Clayton who turned and fired a strike to Mike right on the bag to nail the runner and end the inning. Great game, Clayton!

After the Bad Gnus beat down was complete, it was almost sad to watch the stunned Silver Bullets (a team that beat us 21-3 in the "pwned" game earlier) sit under their tree and have to drink Coors Light while we had the tasty brews. Sucks to be them. Rocks to be us!

The Bad Gnus are now 2-0 and face an improbably battle for sole possession for first place against the Hanks on Monday. That will be followed by another challenger for our crown on Tuesday against Ahern Construction. See you all then!