Best of 2006 - Food

Y'all know I need to push away for the table every once in a while, but I don't. Just more of me to love, I guess. That's what my mom has always said.

Burrito

I loves me a burrito. It's my favorite food so I'll start here.

1. Los Lunchero Wagono Asada - This huge upset put the portable roach coach on the corner of Folsom and Jackson on top of the list. They showed me that a burrito can be wonderful without the cheese, sour cream and guacomole.

2. El Portal Super Chicken - Too far away now (North Highlands), but still merits special notice. I shouldn't get spiritual about a burrito but I feel the warmth down to my toes in the wonderful creation that Pedro makes for me.

3. Chevy's Fajita Chicken - The tasty chips and salsa foreplay puts this one up there.

4. #24 Breakfast Burrito at Aldaberto's - Maddeningly inconsistent from chain to chain. But when it's good it's good, when it's bad, it's real bad.

5. Chipotle Chicken with Guac - The guacamole at chipotle makes this extra special.

Taco

1. Rubio's Fish Especial
2.El Portal Steak
3. Chipotle Chicken
4. Los Lunchero Wagono Asada
5.Woody's Mahi Mahi Firecracker Style

Burger

1. Maximum Burger at Sacramento Brewing - mmm mmm mmm
2. Bandera - Ok, I've only had bites of my kids burgers because of my inability to vary from things I like (see #1 in next section), but it is very tasty.
3. Pyramid Alehouse Burger
4. $6 Guacamole Burgerat Carl's Jr.
5. Woody's Bacon Guacamole Burger

Sandwich

1. Blackened Fish at Bandera - Add the world's best slaw, their amazing potatoes colcanon along with freshly squeezed Bocce Ball.
2. L'Michelle at Mr. Pickles - Just beware the old man at the counter.
3. The Perfect Veggie at Togo's with extra tomatoes - It was the one mystical time that employee care, veggies at their peak of ripeness were brought together at a time when I was starving
4. Hawaiian Chicken at Jack's Urban Eats - Yummy
5. Cheesesteak at Hoppy's - I'd like to actually have that with a beerfor a change.

Best of 2006 - Entertainment

Here are the movies, tv shows and books that occupied my mind in 2006...

Movies

1. Borat - Very nice!

2. The Departed - A little more violent than Mr. Peace,Love & Happiness would typically enjoy, but it was very well done.

3. Stranger Than Fiction - Will Farrell gets his Jim Carrey moment in this odd, literate movie.

4. Flushed Away - Of course, I see a lot of kids movies and this was my fave. Very funny.

5. Cars - Pixar does nice work. They might just make it.

TV Shows

While most of my tv viewing involves a ball or a puck, I do have some favorite non-sport related shows.

1. The Amazing Race - I know. Reality tv has a bit of a bad rap, but I love this show. The travel; the teamwork; the sweeping scenary. I love it and I'm man enough to admit it.

2. The Office - I loved the British show and really worried about this, but it is great.

3. The Daily Show/The Colbert Report - I'm grouping these as one show cuz they are in a way. This is the main place that I get my news.

4. Best Week Ever - This VH1 show is just like every other VH1 show where they have the comics making wise with hit or miss effect, but I like the current events and they hit more than miss. The second best place for me to get news.

5. Entourage - This show started pretty shallow but has really fleshed out the charachters over the seasons.

Honorable mention - My Name is Earl, 30 Days, Cheap Seats and Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel.

Internet Sites

1. U.S.S. Mariner - Very intelligent baseball discussion and early information on the most frustrating baseball team on the planet. But I still cannot stop.

2. Deadspin - This is funniest sports related site ever. Responsible for the phrase "I'm with leather" and the celebrity of Carl Monday.

3. Bad Gnus Blog - Can't wait until I can figure out pictures and some of you post comments on the blog too.

4. The Mighty MJD - Deadspin's poor cousin, but still worth a read.

5. The Phat Free - Entertaining essays from regular Joes.

Books

I know most of you Gnus don't read, so this is really for my own historical benefit.

1. Foop! by Chris Genoa
2. Lord Vishnu's Love Handles by Will Clarke
3. Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
4. Cross Dressing by Bill Fitzhugh
5. A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
6. The Contortionist's Handbook by CraigClevenger

Best of 2006 - Music

Those of you who know me, know that I am a bit of a geek. Those who know me well know that I love year end lists and rankings. Those who are closest to me know that I am a big enough geek that I make a year end list of my favorite things every year. Now, thanks to the world wide web, everyone can know how big of a geek I am!

You are now about to venture into my mind and read the first of many posts listing my favorites of 2006. I love music and this list honors those people who rocked my world in 2006.

Song

Here is the top 5 in order, followed with the rest of the top 20 who made my final Mike's Mix of the year.

1. Cupid's Chokehold by Gym Class Heroes

My band of the year needs to represent at the top of list. Best sample from a Supertramp song ever. Travis can bust some rhymes!

2. Romantic Rights by Death From Above 1979

Sadly, this band has broken up before they really hit it big. Techno-Metal may never be the same.

3. I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! at the Disco

And I'm not even a 17 year old girl!

4. Gone Daddy Gone by Gnarls Barkley

I usually hate remakes of songs that I really like, but they did it good and had a very twisted video to go along with it.

5. Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge

Rooted in the 80's, but the lyrical expression of passion in this song cannot be ignored.

Others (in no particular order):

SexyBack by JT (I didn't know I had left!)

DARE by Gorillaz

Ain't No Other Man by Christina Aguilera

The Queen and I by Gym Class Heroes

Dani California by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Bring It (Snakes on a Plane) by Cobra Starship

Cherry Cola by Eagles of Death Metal

Life Wasted by Pearl Jam

Cosmopolitan by Nine Black Alps

I Bet You Look Good On the Dance Floor by Arctic Monkeys

Steady, As She Goes by The Raconteurs

10 AM Automatic by The Black Keys

That Old Pair of Jeans by Fatboy Slim

Hands Open by Snow Patrol

All The Same by Sick Puppies


CD

1. As Cruel As School Children by Gym Class Heroes
2. You're A Woman, I'm A Machine by Death From Above 1979
3. Mercy by Burden Brothers
4. Death By Sexy by Eagles of Death Metal
5. A Fever You Can't Sweat Out by Panic at the Disco
6. She Wants Revenge (self-titled)
7. Skin & Bones by Foo Fighters
8. Pearl Jam (self-titled)
9. Eyes Open by Snow Patrol
10. Bullet in a Bible by Green Day (since I couldn't vote for American Idiot for the 3rd straight year)

Best New (to me) Artist

Should be pretty obvious, but:

1. Gym Class Heroes
2. Death From Above 1979
3. Panic! at the Disco
4. She Wants Revenge
5. Sick Puppies

Check back later in the week for other entertainment (TV, Movies, Books) and Food & Beverage which includes the much anticipated Mavester for Beer of the Year! You know you will...

What We Have Learned

Another Bad Gnus season is in the books. The season wrapped up wonderfully. Following perhaps our best game of the year last week, we smoked Don't Panic (at the Disco) 13-1 in our final game to bring our Arden Park record to 5-7. We put it all together at the end but have nowhere to go with our momentum except to watch Monday Night Football and put on our winter weight. If there were playoffs, we would be a team to watch. If my aunt had a package, she'd be my uncle.

The season improved greatly once we moved to Arden Park and gained a beer sponsorship. Though we failed to finish either of our two seasons at .500 for the first time in the 15 year history of the Bad Gnus, we had a lot of fun and we learned a lot about our team and each other. Here's a few of the things I have learned about our team and the individuals on it...

* We aren't in our 20's anymore. Now WE are the team with the knee braces and beer bellies that play much better than they look. I used to hate playing that team 10 years ago. I'd still rather be the team that hates that team.

* It is time for another version of the ever popular Bad Gnus shirt. The last couple of years have resulted in some turnover and we have a hodge podge of shirts. I will be ordering 20 shirts next time. I'm guessing all XL and XXL, fat asses. Get your designs in. The winning design will win a Bad Gnus autographed softball.

* Howard can't go 5 for 5 every game anymore, but he still thinks he should. Glad to see his wife and beautiful baby at a couple of games this year. Hope that becomes a regular feature. Also glad to see he refuses the postgame beer. More beer for me, I mean, us.

* Howard's bat is not cursed. As he proved in the last couple games, where he pounded out hit after hit, Howard is back. He even used the bat everyone on the team is afriad to use. It is the most expensive stick ever owned by a Bad Gnu, but when everyone saw what it did to our most consistent hitter, people were using the bats Doug Wormald brought from the trunk of stolen cars instead.

* Derrick likes little league baseball and his son more than the Bad Gnus. It was bound to happen. The Gnus now take a backseat to the family in the heart of many Gnus and so we have expanded our roster to expect such missed games. But D, tell your league to cool it on the Monday games!

* Greg can't play 9:30 games anymore. The guy's bedtime is 9:00. No one was happier that we were moving to a park without lights, within walking distance to his house then Greg. Although he is more likely to have his mom drop him off at the field than actually walk or ride his bike.

* Kevin can learn. Now, long after the fact, it seemed like several times that Kevin touched the plate instead of the white line, he ended the season scoring several runs that weren't called outs.

* Kevin has a hard head. The half funny/half scary collision into the backstop at the Complex was one of the memorable moments of the year. His head hit the backstop harder than Trent Green's hit the turf in Kansas City. That graceful stumble gave him a concussion and blood running down his knees but he soldiered on.

* Erik Grotte is an athletic marvel. Erik had more environmental handicaps to physical performance throughout the year than anyone but still made several Newcastle Defensive Plays of the Game and is the Samuel Adams Player of the Game for the final week of the season. With a soft cast on his hand, Erik had a perfect night at the plate. That's amazing. A couple weeks prior, Erik played first base with a hard cast on his hand. He played a couple innings at second base earlier in the season with his son's little league mit after the mit that he probably used in little league was shredded by a line drive. And, of course, he often plays the game with jeans on, like the real cowboys do.

* Kirk Giberson is the smoothest fielder on the Gnus (when not wearing golf clothes). One of our excellent mid-year pickups this year was Kirk. At the start of the season, he did not have softball equipment, only golf equipment. He still wears the golf batting gloves as a shout out to his true sporting love, golf. But he no longer wears golf shoes and looks more like a softball player out there than a golfer. As the season moved along, he not only turned into a hitting machine, but turned every ground ball into a slick looking out. Glad you're with us, Kirk.

* Keith Galliano's married! When did that happen? All the sudden his Gnus' dues checks have a girl's name on them. I don't even think it was that recent of a development. He has always quietly done his business getting hits, playing solid defense and now he is quietly getting married. Of course, until she comes to a game, it cannot be officially recognized.

* Mike finds himself funnier than anyone else does. He also likes the write crap about all his friends as a test to see if they will still hangout with him despite things he publishes on the world wide web. Oh, and he cannot hit the ball to the opposite field.

* Pete Nixon throws hard. Despite the flowery pony tail hat he has worn, he can fell a man with a flick of his wrist. In the Bad Gnus Play of the Year for 2006, Pete threw a ball right down the middle of the opposing runner's "strike zone" as he rounded third. I'm not going to drudge it all up again here. Scroll down for the original story. It's funny everytime I think about it.

* John Weisenfarth doesn't know the base coach sign for "stop here at third". He's very exciting to watch on the bases. He takes the cavalier base running that the Gnus were founded on into the current day. He always seems to be flying around the bases whether the ball is waiting in front of him or not.

* Bill Moebs' job sucks. Dude missed two months worth of games because he was working every night until 10. When he did finally start showing up and got his tye dye on, Bill was a good player and another fine mid-year pickup. He just can't play in June and July.

* Bill Appleton has the coolest sister. In one of the best developments in Bad Gnus history, Bill worked a sponsorship deal for free Sam Adams beer for after the games. I still think we only see about 20% of the beer she gives him for the team. It's a small price to pay for Bill to ice it down and bring it each week.

* Doug Wormald can hit it out. For the first time in who knows how many years, a Bad Gnu went yard. Doug took care of business with one of Crazy Joaquin's borrowed bats. It might have been our only run in that game. Chicks dig the long ball!

* Sean McDaniel plays a solid right field. Sean made his debut at the end of the season and mostly played right field. He got a lot of action out there and made some tough catches look easy and some easy catches look tough. We will see more of him next year and learn something juicier.


* Ted Messner likes to swing it. Don't think Ted took a pitch all year. After Ted mocked the tracking of walks on the Gnus, the walk rate dropped faster than a guy rounding third when Pete has a ball in his hands. (The big white one, not his left or right.)


* Ted Messner exists. Ted has a conflict on Monday nights which makes showing up for our games kinda tough. He did make it out for a few games to prove he is more than just a name on the roster.

* Doug Hart might not exist. Doug is always quick to quip on the e-mails, but he was once again on the injured list for the entire year. Many Gnus don't have any idea who he is. After starting the 2005 season with a 3 for 3 night, he hurt his, heck, I don't even remember which one was first. He's been in a cast, sling, brace or head cone for two years straight. He kept threatening to come out and take comprimising photos of us, but only made it out for half of the opening night game. It will be interesting to see what ailment keeps him out of opening day 2007.

No matter what, we had a memorable season. Thanks to you all for showing up and contributing to the fun. I hope you all had as much fun as I did. This is a great group of guys and it seems like the players that have been added to the Bad Gnus family fit in perfectly. Have a great offseason. I hope that I will see you all many times before our next opening day.

A Letter from Bill Appleton's Goldfish

Hi Bad Gnus,

I'm Goldie, Bill Appleton's goldfish. I thought I'd send you all a letter as the long winter of the Bad Gnus offseason is upon us. First off, I don't want you to think that my human Bill lacked creativity and named me after my species. Bill is a very bright human who is well read. He named me after his favorite downtown bookstore. It is a special place for him is that is where he met his girlfriend. She never says very much but she always sits stiffly on the couch over there with her mouth open.

Overall, it is very cool being Bill's goldfish. He comes and goes a lot so he walks by and taps on the tank every time he heads out the door. Usually when he comes back he just falls asleep right on the floor in front of me instead of going to his bedroom. He doesn't take off his clothes or shoes or anything. I love it when we have sleepovers! Sometimes they're kind of smelly in the morning though.

I like it when he practices pickup lines on me. If I think they would work, I swim through my skull laying on the bottom of my tank and wiggle my tail. If not, I float to the top. It's really hot up there with the lamp, so I hope he gets some new lines soon. This weekend's assortment have been "You look great in shiny, orange shorts", "Would you like a job at an airport?" and "How's it goin'? Are you flowin'?". I don't know if he says the shiny orange shorts line to flatter me personally or not. I always give him a skull lap for that one.

One of the interesting things about living with Bill is all the friends that come over. Most recently, he has this girl there who is very sweet. I want her to practice lines on me, too. It is Bill's job to show her that all men aren't pigs. If anyone can show her how noble the male gender is, it is my man Bill. I like her a lot better then his last guest, Entourage. I didn't like how he treated Bill's stiff girlfriend when Bill was asleep.

The reason for this letter Gnus, is to ask for your help with my friend Bill during football season. He tends to get a little rowdy. With up to 4 days of football every week, we are having more and more sleepovers. I especially hate it when he watches the game here. I don't like to drink beer but he insists on letting me "celebrate" with him if no friends are here. And heaven forbid if his team is playing a "fish" team like the Dolphins. He goes temporarily insane. He keeps pointing his fingers at me and saying "Culpepper you suck!". I don't know how he can forget my name after all this time.

I am hoping that you can watch the games with him sometime so we can just have a nice quiet sleepover when he returns. How about Monday, October 2nd at Mandango's on Fulton. Packers vs. Eagles. Game time is 5:30.

Thanks in advance for your help!

Goldie

It's a Beautiful Night

A lot has happened in the world of the Bad Gnus since this reporter has opined on the events. The Gnus had actually crawled back to .500 at 3-3. The league was talking about the Gnus. This time it was actually good things. Sure, there were still comments about the tye dye, our constant player whoring and Pete's ponytail hat. But this time there was a buzz that the cool dudes in cool shirts with the cool beer sponsorship had some hot skills. Luckily, we were able to quickly put a stop to all of that nonsense.

Surprisingly, the injuries that we had endured has not hampered us. Erik's been playing with a cast on this hand. Pete played with a foot the size and color of Shrek's. Doug Hart... Well, Doug's going to be healthy in the spring. Fall youth sports have crept in and made the roster less predictable. Between soccer and the nurturing of the future second baseman for your Sacramento River Cats, Jared Rebensdorf, many Papa Gnus have missed time.

Tangent alert: We may need to start thinking about a different last name if JReb is going to take a step to the show. Something with an "ez" at the end of it like Rebenez, perhaps. I know my business career took off after I changed my last name from Oxard.

So five straight losses, led us into a game on a beautiful fall evening against of talented T-Sox team that the Gnus edged in their first meeting. After setting batting orders based on order of appearance to the field and alphabetical order in previous weeks, the manager went with the longest lasting Gnus. Some may cynically say that is the only way Mike could bat first. Fastest, no. Best hitter, no. Tallest, no. Youngest, no. Founder, yes! Sadly, batting clean up on the team was a guy who joined us last year.

The Gnus learned a lesson about the loyalty of whores as our #1 "player of the evening" left during warmups to play on the other team. That left the Gnus with 9 players against the T-Sox' 10. It didn't matter in the first inning as the beautifully constructed lineup resulted in the Gnus batting around, but stranding the bases loaded. The defense came to play and put the T-Sox down 1-2-3 in the bottom of the first. The next few innings resulted in much of the same hard hit balls by the Gnus and stranding runners on the bases. The T-Sox, especially their third baseman, continued to field hard hit balls and make clutch outs. After 4 innings the score was 6-2 and it seemed like it was 16-2.

Slowly, the T-Sox pulled closer and closer to the lead. The Gnus had tired of all the baserunning and were going to rest on their laurels and get ready to crack some beers. In the 6th inning, with the sun below the horizon, the T-Sox pulled within one run. The umpire said there was time for one more inning, but forgot to tell our bats. After another quiet inning, the Gnus had a one run cushion to protect. After a lead off single, the Bad Gnus turned in the Defensive Play of the game. A simple two hopper to third turned into a double play of a fast runner because of the wonderful pivot by Bill Moebs at second. That was the second double play of the game that Bill turned from a grounder to third. This one looked like it would seal the game. Way to go Bill!

Two outs in the bottom of the last inning and the last batter on the T-Sox at the plate looked promising. But after a walk, the top of the order put together consecutive singles to tie the game before Sean, in his second game with the Gnus hauled in another nice catch in right field to force extra innings.

In the eighth, the Bad Gnus bats came alive again, scoring 3 runs before Mike could end the inning with a bases loaded double play to the third baseman. No fair putting their best fielder at the only place I can hit the ball! In the bottom half, the T-Sox threatened after one guy put one to the tennis courts for our second rule aided hit that prohibited a home run. But the T-Sox were only able to put one across, giving the Bad Gnus an excellent 9-7 win over a quality opponent.

The Samuel Adams Player of the Game was down to two people. Howard Hughes was back! He was hitting everywhere. Taking extra bases including a very important extra base in the last inning as a pinch runner for Bill. He was the first run in that key inning. One of our smaller fans at the game, Ted Giberson, was overheard saying "Dad, he's just like Ichiro". He is just Ichiro - runs down balls in the outfield, cannon arm, basehits every time up and a limited command of the English language. However, the award this week goes to Bill Moebs. Sporting the tye dye for the first time prompted Bill to put in his best effort with the Gnus. He had 3 solid hits and played and flawless second base, including the defensive play of the game. Great game, Bill.

It was nice to play so well near the very end of the season. We only made one error and up and down the order people were hitting the ball hard. The last game of the season is Monday at 5:15 (!!!) Please be there and help Bill finish some Sammies. What we don't drink, he will have to, so let's do Bill a solid.

2 Game Winning Streak!

First streak of this length all year! We should be able to spread it to 3 on Monday. Our opponent, Don't Panic, is rumored to have not won a game in 5 years. Hello, Bad Gnus!

This week's game was pretty ugly. The Bad Gnus, gutted out a 6-4 victory, relying on their 4th string pitcher. Mixing walks, strikeouts and barbs to the opposing batters, John was a strong presence on the hill. John raced over from the emergency room at Kaiser in his scrubs. He wore his tye dye under his scrubs all day. That's good mojo.

There was a story that John had to call a t.o.d. on the ER table at 6:40 so that he could make game time. Maybe another 15 minutes and a few more shots from the paddles of life could have saved her. But John knew where his priorities lay. Speaking of outstanding commitment to the Gnus, Todd Sanfilippo spent the evening of his 13th wedding anniversary at the ballyard! No word yet if he spent the night of his 13th anniversary on his couch. Now, I don't know about the priorities of the record 5 Gnus that were on vacation on a Monday night. Doug will argue he was on a business trip, but if you are golfing during the day and drinking at night, that's a vacation, buddy. Used to be that the Gnus would leave on vacation on Tuesday and return on Sunday. Those were the days. By the way, I won't be at the game this Monday, Ryan has soccer practice.

Nothing too exciting happened in the game to recap. Bill recruited Arden Park softball whore Greg (not our Greg) to play on the team. Good work, Bill. He also brought his friend Jeff, fresh off the set of Entourage. Dude had the very stylish LA style vans with no laces and faux-shoelace rings. Jeff actually missed an inning because he was on a cell phone call. Now give Bill credit for having his friend's back, but Bill insistance that Jeff is making a movie and is on a business call was shot down after Jeff was overheard saying, in a sweet voice "I got a hit and an RBI". I don't think Jennifer Aniston's agent cares how he was doing in the game. Or maybe it was Jenna Jamison's agent. There was discussion in the dugout as to the types of films Jeff might be associated with.

Despite all the grief that I can give to Jeff, I was very pleased that he was out there. Not only was he a good guy, but he is the rare "Rex Davis" that is taking the Sam Adams Player of the Game. He was 3 X 3 and knocked in a couple of runs. He always seemed to be up or on base in a critical time of the game. His quick reflexs resulted in the final out of the game as he snagged a foul tip before it hit the ground. Good game Jeff. I'm sure after crashing at Bill's house for a while, you have had all the Sam Adams you can take.

Remaining Arden Park Schedule

I guess I should've posted this a while ago, but for your reference here is the remaining schedule....

8/7 7:00 v. T-Sox
8/14 6:00 v. Don't Panic
8/15 6:00 v. Ahern Construction (It's a Tuesday!!)
8/21 7:00 v. The Long Islanders
8/28 6:00 v. Hanks
9/4 7:00 v. Silver Bullets (Yup, that's Labor Day)
9/11 7:00 v. T-Sox
9/18 6:00 v. Don't Panic

Plan your vacations accordingly!!

The Bad Gnus are Back!!

This has been one of the rockier stretches in the 15 year history of the Bad Gnus. The softball complex ran us out after repeated drubbings to Floyd Landis' and Justin Gatlin's of the softball world. Actually, I'm not sure if the other teams were fueled by steriods, meth or satan. Either way, the Bad Gnus are fueled by mind-numbing, reaction-slowing, gut-expanding, and might I add delicious, beer.

The new field held promises of closer games, older competition and a shorter commute. We found out that, contrary to popular the saying, 2 out of 3 was indeed bad afterall. After 3 games, the Bad Gnus record stood at 0 - 3. Two of the teams were even older than the Gnus. I felt bad yelling at and threatening the AARP member during the third game of the slide. I believe the mounting frustration was getting to me. In three games, the Bad Gnus scored 6 runs! Sure, it would be at least 7 if Kevin would have run to the stupid line instead of the plate as he has done for nearly 40 years. Yup. I know this is a tangent, but Kev turns the big 4-0 on September 22!! I can't really blame Kev. Oh sure, there is plenty to blame him for in the grand scheme of things, but touching the plate to kill a rally when the plate is the universal baseball symbol for scoring a run can be forgiven. I know there are those out there that might say "but hasn't he been the catcher during all of these drubbings in which opponent after opponent has touched the line and not the plate". All I can really say to that is, "Leave Kevin alone, he's my buddy."

This night would be different. There was a different feeling from the get-go. Bill had brought a full ice chest of chilled Sam Adams Summer. (The early favorite for the prestigious Mike Maves Beer of the Year award!) We were matching our Sam Adams sponsorship against a team called the Silver Bullets, who were sponsored by some watered-down waste of aluminum. There were 11 Gnus before the game started and all had on the tye dye. The oppressive heat of the summer had momentarily cooled for the most pleasant evening in weeks. Yes, tonight would be different.

The lineup was completed on bright pink paper and would remain so until the Bad Gnus pushed across 10 runs in a game. Would this be the night that turns the lineup into the typical writing frantically on a scrap of paper 2 minutes before gametime? Or would pink be our new signature color? After a maddening (for the Silver Bullets) array of bloop hits actually dropped for the Bad Gnus for a change, the bats started to come alive. With the bases loaded and one run already in. Keith lofted a deep sacrifice fly to score Kevin. But wait. No he didn't! Kevin once again stepped on the plate for the third out and killing the rally. Keeping with his season-long vigilance of helping the umpires make the right call, Pete pointed out the transgression to the Blue. Pete's the most honest real estate agent in history. I have heard a lot of adjectives that people use when describing commercial real estate agents. Honest is usually the first one and it is one of the few clean ones.

After a quick inning of defense the Bad Gnus finally broke lose. 8 runs were plated in the 2nd inning. The inning was highlighted by Kevin scoring and actually running across the line and not touching the plate. Good job, Kev!

For the first time in a long time, the Bad Gnus had a solid lead and could coast the rest of the way. The shutout was lost, but the hitting continued. The Gnus rolled up 6 more runs on their way to a 15-3 beat down of the Silver Bullets. Most people had a very solid night with the bat. Don't think it is unrelated to everyone but Howard refusing to use his cursed bat. I'm not sure what witch doctor on e-bay Howard purchased that bat from, but it is not doing any favors to our best hitter. Howard did sneak a ball through the infield in the last inning to avoid the sombrero. He has one hit in a row! Howard took his slump so hard, he refused the post game victory beer afterward.

I can't recall all that many great defensive plays this week. I should mention the amazing running catch Erik Grotte made the previous week in right-center. That was an awesome catch! This week, the Bad Gnus played very solid defensive but nothing too spectacular. Doug showed off his cannon as he threw out a guy trying to stretch a single into a double to start off the game. Bill made a nice strectch to complete a line out double play that Mike tried to throw over his head. I will give the award this week to Pete. No, not for his defense that kept Kevin from scoring in the first inning. Pete made a nice running, shoe top catch on a sinking liner in centerfield. Nice play, Pete!

The Samuel Adams Player of the Game this week is a bit of a tough one. So many people played well. However, the award this week goes to Kirk Giberson! In only his fourth game with the Gnus, he collected three solid hits and looks oh so smooth at second base. In one inning he made a nice smooth pickup on a grounder to his left. Then played a back hand to his right on the next batter. He made each play look routine. This week he was even in uniform. He finally received his Gnus shirt and immediately it paid off. Also, he has ditched his golf shoes for some softball shoes. That has to help. He is stil sporting the golf glove, but whatever works for him is fine with us. Great game, Kirk!

Next week's game is at 7:00 (not 6:00) as I was spouting after the game. Let's keep the winning going. We are missing at least 4 people from last week's game, including our pitcher and back up pitcher. Be looking for fill-ins now!

Finally, a Thriller!

It was a beautiful night for softball and for just a few minutes on a warm summer evening, things looked like all was right in the world of the Bad Gnus. Five minutes before game time there were 10 Bad Gnus at the yard! There would be no player whoring in the bathroom this night. As the Bad Gnus trotted out to the field, there was the encouraging sight of Howard in left field and not the bumbling load, holding his right butt check the whole game that has been out there. The other welcome sight was Derrick at shortstop. In the top of the first, Derrick made a wonderful 6-3 double play to end the Limelight's first inning without a run.

Optimism was running rampant through the dugout as the Gnus came to bat in the bottom of the first. However, the rust that comes with months of Bad Gnus inactivity for the two prodigal Gnus was a splash of reality water thrown in their dreaming faces. In trying to describe Howard's first at bat for the Gnus in over a month, I searched and searched my keyboard for the appropriate key. I've tried this one (?l) and this one (7l) and this one(>l). I've searched the internet for the appropriate emoticon. I didn't know a smiley face could do so many things! I didn't know whether to go with the one that turns green then barfs or the one that just stands there looking at me. After all of this, I'm just going to say that Howard owes us some beer. That about explains it. Derrick didn't want his compadre-in-absence to go alone and quickly bounced into a 6-4-3 double play during his first at bat.

The game did feature two D league teams for the first time in a while. For the first 5 innings the Bad Gnus played more like a F league team. It was refreshing seeing the other team make an occassional error and not all of their hitters bouncing the ball of the fence. They did have one guy who knocked one over Howard's head his first time up and over Howard's head and the fence's head the next time. But with two outs in the bottom of the fifth, the Bad Gnus had still failed to score. But John Wiesenfarth barrelled toward third and completely ignored third base coach Doug's stop sign and raced toward home. Or more specifically the general area of home. John ran about 10 feet to the side of the plate in full view of the Gnus and the umpire who was patiently waiting for the defense to realize it and tag him out. The Bad Gnus did not want to make a scene and were trying to get John's attention to touch the plate. The catcher threw the ball back to the pitcher and the dugout erupted with a "John, touch the plate!!". The shutout was averted!

The Bad Gnus gave up 3 more runs in the top of the 6th and the scoreboard showed 11-0, Limelight, withholding our lone run of the night. After a brief discussion with the scorekeeper, the Bad Gnus were credited with a run. However, we didn't need the old lady scorekeeper to pile on. Her comment was something like "wull, I pushed her, but it mussn't had known whut to do since I've hadn't touched it all ding dang game. It's like when my babies was playin in the Rio Linder little league and that darn Vern's Hardware team just never could plum get any one in". Then she spit out a little of her chew. Well maybe that's what that's what my mind perceived, but it was something like that.

With two outs and nobody on the in the bottom of the sixth, the Gnus slowly spung to life. Mike singled and that was followed by about 8 more consecutive hits to bring the game to a respectable 11-7. The Gnus finally felt alive! They were back in it. They remembered how to score. The Gnus gave up a couple more runs in the top of the seventh, but they had a good feeling going into the bottom of the inning. They picked up right where they left off and quickly picked up 4 runs before there were any out. Then with two out and the bases loaded, Keith drilled a single into left scoring the tying run and John Wiesenfarth came storming around third. Once again ignoring his third base coach's plea to stop. John actually headed for the plate this time and slid hard and perhaps was under the tag, but he was called out. Solid effort to slide to score the winning run by the newest Gnu.

Much to the chagrin of the 9:30 teams who were already late to get started, this game was going to extra innings! The Limelight was also surprised to be in extra innings after holding what looked to be a very safe 11-1 lead. The comeback was right out of the Bad Gnus history books. Only the Bad Gnus could play completely horrible for almost 6 complete innings to nearly win it in the bottom of the 7th. The Gnus often play as if their games are scripted. The material if often fresh and surprising, but this twist was not one that anyone wanted to see. The Bad Gnus gave up 10 runs in the top of the 8th to go down 23-13. It was time for the Bad Gnus to perform one more time this night. After already scoring big in two consecutive innings, were they up for a third go around at their age? No matter how much the Limelight nibbled our ears or kissed our neck, we rolled right over and went to sleep. Typical. The final score was 23-15.

The Defensive Play of the Game could well have Doug's sliding catch in right center in the 8th inning to get a crucial out. The throw to second from his backside almost doubled up the surprised runner. Erik also made a beautiful tumbling catch going into right from second base that was very impressive. But the play of the game this week is awarded to Derrick Rebensdorf. Not just for one particular play but for his role in three double plays during the game. He took two 6-3 double plays then turned a nice 1-6-3 number in the late innings that was key. It was very nice having D out at shortstop again! Let's hope he didn't mess up his knee by refusing the courtesy runner.

The Newcastle Player of the Game could also go to Derrick. He played great defense and had three solid hits reminding everyone why he is the starting shortstop and cleanup hitter on the all-time Bad Gnus team. The NPOG this week goes to John Wiesenfarth. John went 4 for 4 and displayed the reckless running prowess of a lifelong Gnu, but slid like a new guy. Great enthusiasm! He scored our first run of the game and almost scored the game winner. He has been a fine pick up for the team. Great game, John.

Next week's game is at 9:30. Everyone get a nap!

The Summer G-D League Schedule

6/12 6:30 v. The Buindy's
6/19 8:30 v. Limelight Cardroom
6/26 9:30 v. Capital Christian Center
7/03 HOLIDAY
7/10 7:30 v. The Pig Farmers
7/17 BYE
7/24 8:30 v. Referee's
7/31 6:30 v. Rage
8/07 9:30 v. URS
8/14 7:30 v. The Big Donkeys

Please let me know in advance if you cannot make a game. I'm going to assume you can make every game. Assuming that actually will not make an ass out of me as goes the saying, just u if you don't let me know. :)

Bad Gnus Score 4 in Last Inning

(Hang in there. I had some time to kill at work today. This is a long one.)

This year is not turning out to be very competitive. Once again, the softball complex only has one men's league on Monday nights. Whether you are a bunch of meth-head, athletic tourneyment teamers, like the Buindy's that we faced last night, or you are a bunch of beer-bellied, 30 or 40-somethings that play once a week, everyone is in the same league. No amount of tantrums by our manager is going to change it. Hopefully, half the league will be actual D league teams and those games will be closer. This season will likely end our association with the softball complex. Be on the lookout for new locales. The faves right now are Howe Park and Arden Park.

Despite the outcome, it is always great to go out to the yard with the fellas. the Bad Gnus are and always will be an exceptional group of guys. Even though we were down 14-0 after the top of the first, who would've wanted to miss out on Bill tripping on first base after hustling to not hit into a double play. Well, maybe Bill. But the rest of us had a hoot. I mean you get to see the roll... the huge dust cloud... the feet in the air... It's beautiful. Already made me forget that I followed that up by hitting into a double play myself. It was topped off by seeing the blood running down his leg when he came back to the dugout. He'll be picking gravel out of the pus-ridden, swolled gash for weeks.

The Buindy's had our old buddy Joaquin out in right field! I never wrote up the game that Joaquin whored for us. Dude was something else. Every ball hit, no matter where it was, you would hear a loud "I go!" and he'd run and cut someone off for the ball. I have never seen someone with his energy level on the softball field. Maybe he drinks a lot of coffee. Yeah, that's what it is. He seemed rather subdued last night. I think he was on the phone all night in the field. That's a bit of a sad commentary of our offensive prowess.

As I mentioned, the Buindy's scored 14 runs in the first inning, including two very long home runs. Joaquin batted three times in the inning. We only had four players bat three times the whole game. It took us three innings to get everyone one at bat. No matter how hard the other team hits the ball, if you don't score you can't win. After the first inning, the Buindy's only scored 5 times for some reason. They were only advancing one base at a time and their third home run counted as an out.

The top of the first inning did include our defensive play of the game. Our first out of the game came on a very hard hit line drive that was targeted for the grass in right center field before Erik Grotte's glove made what would be its last play of what appears to have been a very, very long life. Erik reached across his body and snared the shot backhanded. In the next inning, Erik almost made another great catch of a line drive, but the ball ripped through the dried and cracked leather laces holding the glove together. Erik played the rest of the game with his son's little league mitt with no noticable difference in play. Great play, Erik!

With the score 19-0 in the bottom of the fifth inning, the Bad Gnus put together a Bad Gnu inning. With a runner on, Erik Grotte drilled a ball to the wall in right center. Erik was using an Easton bat Joaquin supplied for us as he is sponsored by the bat company. Fittingly, the Bad Gnus have been trying all year to get sponsored by a beer company. Erik raced around the bases. As he turned for home, the Bad Gnus third base coaches, all conveniently located in the first base dugout, told Erik to hold up, but he ran right through that stop sign and challenged the arm of the shortstop who was holding the ball in shallow centerfield. The relay throw sailed wide and Erik had broked up the shutout and completed his inside the park home run!

That gave the Bad Gnus life. This week's Rex Davis (Rex was looking good this week!) ripped another hit, bringing up John Weisenfarth. John, this season's first alternate, which means he'll probably be asked to play every week, was making his second appearance for the Gnus. John smoked the ball into the right field corner for a double. But John, perhaps fueled by the earlier excitement provided by Erik, tested Joaquin's arm in right by going for third. The dugout was only hoping the good doctor would not slide before being tagged out to avoid witnessing an awkward self-examination, but John beat the throw! The ball got away from the third baseman and John took off for home, beating the catcher who was out of position and fell down trying to beat John to the plate. Another thrilling two run homer!

The league director, after hearing the Bad Gnus manager whine about the unfair competition earlier in the evening, notified us during the big rally that a fourth home run by the opposition would result in an ejection. The Buindy's only had 9 players, so an ejection would result in a forfeit and give the Bad Gnus the most improbable of comebacks. Doug had the plan to groove meatballs all inning to the muscle heads who can't keep the ball in the park, but the next inning only lasted one pitch, a long foul ball, before time expired. So close!

The Newcastle Player of the Game wasn't much of a struggle this week. Doug receives consideration as he put on the finest display of player whoring we've seen, pulling the guy in jeans away from his nachos to be our 9th player and 2nd whore right before the forfeit. What was that guy doing there anyway? He wasn't with anyone. He wasn't there to play as he didn't have a glove. (Wearing jeans cannot be a sign of not being ready to play anymore thanks to EG!) He wasn't even watching the games. He was just sitting in the beer garden, eating. Did he choose that as a restaurant? Doug also pitched well and I don't remember him doing anything embarrassing at the plate. But the winner this week goes to EG! Erik Grotte made the defensive play of the game, then played 3+ innings of defense with a little league glove. The also had the highlight reel homerun. Great game, Erik!

As part of his prize package, Erik will be able to open the first beer at parking lot camping following our next game. Well, that is the prize package. Game time is 8:30 on June 19. Please be there so doug doesn't need to troll for the next Rex Davis.

Bad News for the Bad Gnus

The whole evening was set up for something ugly. Only 6 of the 13 players on the roster confirmed their attendance for the night. With the recent lack of success in recent games, it was easy to understand people coming up with a variety of excuses for not being able to perform. It's not like I haven't heard these lines before. "I've got to see a guy about this thing". "I have a headache". "I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship". But so many times on one afternoon was quite disappointing. But at the last minute, Pete suddenly became available and Ted rearranged his evening a bit to sneak in some Bad Gnus-style humiliation. Leaving us just one guy short. That void was filled by Bill Moebs in his first career Bad Gnus start! (Thanks for coming out, Bill!) Kevin was put in charge of player whoring and I think he's got this thing down. Two guys ambled right up to him and asked to join the coolest team in town. Good thing, too. Greg forgot to set his clock forward (I thought that excuse only worked last month) and didn't show up until the end-of-the-game handshake.

Greg's absence left a large void on the mound. Backup pitcher Doug Wormald also couldn't make it out. (I think he said something about washing his hair.) This left the Gnus without a pitcher. Across the diamond, Pete recognized One-Nut McGee. He must be player whoring. Wait, there's the shortstop who played double A ball. I can't believe they are both whoring. Oh, and the big third basemen with the Seattle Mariner jersey made into a wife beater and the hairy shoulders. Bugger. This is who we played last week! Y'all wanna nother piece of this action, fools! Step up.

The Gnus jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead to support emergency pitcher Mike, who just as quickly gave it back and more. The outfielders were running back and forth from the fence retrieving balls for Mike. If the balls were all slobbery when they came back I would've thought I was playing fetch with Mojo. It's all just a blur until the other team's third baseman hit a ball so far they should've put a monkey on it and run some tests. It hit the top of the tree that towers over the fence in leftcenter field. This upset Mike a little who went into his commentary with the home plate umpire about teams playing in appropriate leagues. Kevin thought Mike should maybe not play any closer to the plate than third base if he was going to channel his brother all night. If an effort to prove he was channelling a 10 year boy instead, Mike vowed to not pitch to that batter the rest of the night.

That brings us to the Defensive Play of the Game. There wasn't a lot of great glove play during the game, so the Play goes to Mike. Keeping his word to not pitch to the player who plays softball more times during the week then he shows up to his construction job, Mike lofted two consecutive pitches very high and very outside. On the second, the enraged "D-leaguer" ran across the batter's area and smoked a pretty deep fly ball to the opposite field while moving. Yeah, he can hit. But the batter was out for leaving the batter's box. Unfortunately, the opposition didn't find that as amusing as Mike did, but Mike often finds himself more amusing than other people find him.

The scariest play of the night involved Kevin. I don't think that is the first time I have typed that sentence. As Kevin crossed the plate to cut the lead to single digits, he tripped on the mat and stumbled. Instead of just rolling in the dirt and giving everyone a good laugh and solid blog fodder, he tried to keep his feet. This stumbling lasted a good 10 feet until he slammed head first into the backstop. My initial reaction was to roll in the dugout floor, laughing with tears streaming down my face, but that quickly turned to concern for my best buddy. He got up, shook off the 8-count administered by the umpire and wandered around outside the dugout. He swore he was fine, but I'm pretty sure he saw all the tie dye, all the dust spinning around and the birds singing in his head and thought he was at a Pearl Jam concert. While blood running down both knees, a swollen and bruised hand and a growing knot on his head, Kevin stayed in the game. The classic part of this story is the affable umpire's comments following the game. He searched Kevin out and related a story with a smile on his face about how he was umpiring a game once and a catcher got hit in the head and swore he was fine. The catcher then ending up dead in the parking lot. No word on whether or not there was a hook on the handle of the door. Nice anedote, blue.

The rest of the game was pretty predictable. The score was a relatively close 17-6. The last couple innings, Bill Moebs came in as the relief pitcher and shut down the opposition. During his stint he kept his promise and hit the aforementioned batter with the pitch before getting him to harmlessly fly out to the fence.

The Sam Adams player of the game goes to Bill Appleton. Bill caught many of the balls that were thrown to him at first and had a couple of solid hits. His batting stood out above the rest of the muck wearing tie dye. Most importantly, he brought a trunk full of Sammy Summer all iced down to enjoy in the parking lot. That was easily the most enjoyable part of the game. Way to go, Bill.

The Beatings Continue

This has been a rough few weeks to be a Bad Gnu or one of the many faithful fans who apparently watch from afar. Our number of wins equal the total attendance for the season. Two weeks ago, we had my impressionable 12 year old nephew at the game. He didn't sleep for a week after witnessing the 27-4 beatdown at the hands of some people who are just much, much better at this than the Bad Gnus. Greg had to listen to questions at the dinner table like "Dad, are those guys, like major league baseball players or are you guys just getting really old?" When my niece kicked him under the table to wake him up (it was past 6:30 after all), Greg could only flinch thinking the rolls that were being passed were another screaming line drive coming at his head. There was still a Newcastle Player of the Game! Doug Wormald had two hits. That was a complete stand out performance in that game. The Bad Gnus actually had a 2-0 lead after a half of inning, but they couldn't hold the lead. I think the lead was gone after three batters. I have repressed this game so deep in my memory, I don't even remember the name of the team. Or maybe Matthew is right and I am just getting really old.

This past week, the Bad Gnus came out with an answer to all of our latest opponents with their buffed arms and rippled six packs. They came with a chilled twelve pack. (Thanks Erik!) The first game of the day-night double header also pitted a team that shouldn't be on the same field with the Bad Gnus. But this time it was the other way. Now, I wasn't at the game, so I have to reply on the report handed in by field reporter, softball hall-of-fame catcher and OG (original Gnu) Kevin Bakkie. Despite most of everyone playing down to the level of the competition, the Bad Gnus, led by Kevin staged a last inning comback after Kevin's fourth smashed hit of the game which easily plated somebody who got on base somehow. He couldn't remember. The Newcastle Player of the Game goes to....Kevin! Good job, Kev. Also the Defensive Play of the Game is back this week after the lack of quality plays the week before. Once again, it was field reporter Kevin who made an excellent catch of a decent throw by whoever was playing leftfield and made a stellar play to tag the runner who was attempting to score. Sounds like a nice all around game for Kevin.

Between games, the Bad Gnus went back to their roots and do what they do better than anyone in the league. They knocked down some cold ones. Erik Carlson nearly wrapped up Player of the Game before the game began by bringing a twelve pack. Unfortunately for Erik, they were all gone by the time I got there. (PS Erik, there's always a chance next week. I hear Pyramid Curve Ball is exceptional!) Sadly, Howard Hughes had to depart before the second game as The O.C. was about to come on and his bottle of White Zinfindel had been chilling all day in anticipation for the moment when Tiffany caught Britt in bed with her boyfriend who was supposed to be donating his kidney to his adopted brother from Cambodia.

The Bad Gnus took the field against a team that just lost the first game of their doubleheader against the Rage. That apparently amped these fellas up. The Bad Gnus didn't get a hit until the third inning. That's always a bad sign when the other team is throwing the ball underhand. The rumor was that the Shortstop played AA baseball. He looked like it. Most of their team could hit and hit well. They only jacked one out of the yard, but another guy hit the top of the fence to the opposite field and the rest of the team smoked hits all over the yard. Yeah, that game wasn't much fun. It was easier to swallow with the beer appetizer the Gnus enjoyed before the game. Kevin especially appeared to celebrate the previous game victory with gusto. The final was 20-2 but the real score was 20-19, Bad Gnus. that was the number of intact nuts each team had after they left the field. I know it was a bit tragic at the time and Pete felt real bad about it, but hopefully enough time has passed that he can laugh as hard we can. Only One-Nut McGee took the shot harder than Pete. But let's recap. Dude who is too good to be playing D ball, smokes one in the corner in left field. Mike hustles over (why is Mike still playing leftfield?) and fires the ball to Pete who turns and smoked the ball to third. Doug at third thought we were playing whiffleball and saw that Pete's throw was right on line to drill the runner who came around third and deftly avoided the ball. I don't know why the runner was facing left field, but his package was getting a good look at the ball Pete had rifled to the infield. All 20 guys in the game and the umpire put their own hands to their junk and cringed as the ball popped him right in the twig and berries. I haven't heard such a hush hit a field in all my years at the complex. The silence only broken by someone, I think, it was Greg telling someone else to tag him. The runner was out and probably wished he had blacked out. On the bench, several Gnus, especially Pete thought it was bogus to take the out there. I agreed to a point, but thought it was more bogus that a team with this much softball talent would play in a D league instead of a league more fitting of their talent. I shouldn't give the Newcastle Player of the Game to anyone since everyone played pretty crappy. So I'll spread it to two people. The award this week goes to Bill and Pete! Bill drove in a run in the second inning with a sacrafice fly with the bases loaded and no one out when we were trailing by 7. That's half our runs! But mainly Bill gets it as he brought just about every bat we use and stayed later than everyone else cleaning up all the equipment out of the dugout. Pete gets the award not for his hilarious defensive play of the game, but because of the humanity Pete showed. He felt very bad about the guy's injury and made sure to apologize and try to make good with the opposition after the play. For the first couple innings, I thought the Gnus were afraid to get on base for fear of retribution. It turned out that we just suck. Later in the game, the umpire completely blew a call in our favor at second base, but Pete told the umpire he was safe and the team continued to run around the bases like a merry-go-round. It was the right thing to do and karma will be back on our side. But what pushed him to 50% of the award this week, was Pete stepping up and buying pitchers following the game. Way to go fellas!

Game 2 Finally gets played

After 5 weeks of inactivity, the Bad Gnus took the field against the best team in the league. I would guess the best D league softball team in the city. Seems as if each one of the players on the roid Rage could smoke the ball anywhere on the field. But despite the long odds and the fear of a forfeit, the Bad Gnus put up a valient effort. In the top of the first, the offense was sparked by a single by Ted Messner then a single by Pete Nixon. They each took the extra base with agressive baserunning. That's the kind of recklessness that inspires the Gnus! Several more hits in the inning resulted in a brisk 4-0 lead after a half of an inning.

No one thought 4 runs would hold up against this team and it almost didn't make it through the first inning. Clinging to a 4-3 lead, a fly ball was lofted to Mike (what the heck is Mike doing in Left Field?!?). He circled under it and fired a perfect strike to Kevin's chest at the plate to easy get the runner tagging from third. That was your Bad Gnus Defensive Play of the Game! But in all, the Gnus were not able to keep the scoring pace. Despite strong performances up and down the lineup, the Gnus were trailing 16-8 going into the last inning.

With the infamous "Bad Gnu" inning still in their pocket, there was still a run in the boys. A hit by Erik Carlson plated the 12th run, but ErikGrotte was gunned out at third for the final out of the game. A solid comeback, but a loss none-the-less, 16-12.

Unfortunately, the stats were lost after the game! Very unfortunately for several Gnus that I know played very well, including Erik Carlson and Bill Appleton. Both those guys had multiple hit and at least one long hit. Bill had a stand up triple! Y'all know that ball had to roll for a while! But the Newcastle Player of the Game is awarded to Pete Nixon. Pete has 3 hits, scored at least twice and made several lunging and diving stops at second base. Great game, Pete!

Next week, the Bad Gnus play on back-to-back Mondays for the first time. Game time is at 7:30. That might be tough for some little league parents/coaches. See you then!

Game 1 Stars and Stats

Newcastle Player of the Week: After going completely AWOL during the MFL season and not responding the pre-season Bad Gnus e-mails, Kevin came from nowhere and picked up where he left off. He was a perfect 4 X 4 at the plate. Behind the plate, he showed why he has long been regarded the best defensive catcher in all of Sacramento Softball. He popped out from behind the plate to take an at bat away from URS lead-off batter and Kev's nemisis (still for unknown reasons) by catching a running foul pop. He also applied a tag and masterfully blocked the WNBA umpire's view of a play at the plate to give us an out call. Don't discount the fact that Kevin was busy charming the umpire all night with lines like, "I sure hope the Monarchs repeat this year". Great game, Kevin!

Defensive Play of the Week: Nothing too spectacular comes up. The Kevin tag at the plate was nice but it followed and error and really the guy was safe at the plate. The award this week goes to the all-around play at second base of Erik Grotte. Playa's makin' diving stops up the middle, trying to start double plays with perfect flips to second and had to put up with the shortstop always covering the bag and not going to cut off the ball. Erik looked great out there!

Raw Numbers! (Ted would be proud that there were no walks)

Howard 3X4, 1 run
Keith 2X4, 2 runs
Mike 2X4, 2 runs
Doug 1X4
Kevin 4X4
Bill 0X4
Erik C 0X3
Erik G 1X3, 1 run
Greg 1X3, 1 run
Rex Davis 2X3, 3 runs

Bad Gnus take opener 10-6!

On a chilly March evening, the Bad Gnus surprisingly took the field after a week of rain. It may have been 6 months since the last Gnus game, but everything had such a familiar twang. The opposition was taking infield practice before the game as the Gnus rolled in late and warmed up by shaking hands with their friends they haven't seen in a while. Just like an old habit, Manager Mike had to fake a bathroom break and go Softball Whoring looking for a ninth player to avoid a forfeit. As the game was just starting, the ninth tye dyed jersey could be seen sountering slowly from the parking lot. There was no urgency to Erik Carlson's stroll. Fashionably late, the youngest Gnu looked cool to all the fans in the stands. Oh, that was just the scorekeeper.

The Gnus started very slowly, as you would expect. The pitches falling so tantilizingly slow that the eager batters swung wildly and early. They were still able to string together three hits in the first inning for a run. While the Bad Gnus lookly incredibly rusty the URS team looked devoid of talent. I'm pretty sure URS was an acronym for U Really Suck. I never got the reason, but Kev continued to berate the URS third baseman and leadoff hitter to any Gnu that would listen. The Gnus didn't look too rusty in the field however. Despite fielding their fourth string shortstop, the oversized round mound of ground outs, just about all the Gnus played great defense. I'm not bringing up any names, but it's bad karma to cover up the tye dye. You gotta put that on the outside, my man! Although, upon watching Bill (dangit, I wasn't going to say his name) slip on his powder blue mittens after the game it all started to come together. Bill's hands are dearly supple from an off season with no softball and too much lotion. Put down the baby oil and I think those hands will be in softball shape in time.

Anyway, the game was pretty dull and eventless until the Gnus finally broke out their Gnu inning in the top of the 6th to put the game away. A couple of meaningless runs by URS put the final tally at 10-6. The Bad Gnus played pretty poorly but still dominated a much inferior opponent.

Coming up next.... weekly stars and stats!

2006 Bad Gnus Spring Schedule

It has been released! It is time for all Bad Gnus to spend an hour searching their garages for their softball gloves, scrub off the mold that may have accumulated and throw it in the back of your truck, SUV or minivan (depending on your level of manliness) along with a lawn chair. First game is in 4 days!!! Monday March 13 is the start of the Spring season. Often considered "Bad Gnus spring training" or the first chance to teach those snot-nosed little leaguers most of us coach the phrase "do as I say not as I do."

3/13 6:30 vs. URS
3/20 7:30 vs. The Big Donkeys
3/27 No Game
4/03 8:30 vs. Beer Dawgs
4/10 6:30 vs. Referees
4/17 8:30 vs. Rage
4/24 7:30 vs. The Buindy's
5/01 6:30 vs. URS
5/08 8:30 vs. The Big Donkeys
5/15 PLAYOFFS

I know that several of you cannot make certain games, especially in March. I need to know that right away!! Please post a comment to this blog entry with games you know you'll miss, or go old school and send me an e-mail. Drop into the way back machine and break me off a phone call. I cannot accept the 1980's communication of letter writing or the 1940's communication of telegraph.

Is this thing on??

Always only 3 years behind the times, I have gone for website to blog for this year's Bad Gnus updates. I hope this works. This should allow us to keep the past posts for information and allow for some post game banter. Please respond to the posts so I know you're out there!

Peace!