Friday, March 25, 2011

Spring Has Sprung


I love spring. There are too many wonderful things about it to list here in my unlimited bandwidth. You better believe the beginning of Bad Gnus season is high on that list. I get to see my buds on the regular. I get to play in the sun. I get to drink beer outside. There's nothing bad about it. Can't wait!

The new schedule is out and as it should be, The Bad Gnus are listed as Team #1 on the schedule. I knew the league liked us the best! Who wouldn't? I'm not sure about their inclusion of the word "The" in our name. I didn't put it there. I think it's wrong. It's like band names. Why is it The Black Keys but Black Eyed Peas?

The big news on the schedule is the omission of my favorite blog punching bag, Win Financial. Muscleheads must be cycling off. I have heard many rumors about why they are not back. Only one of which I didn't start. See if you can spot the one I first heard from someone else...

A. The manager of the team told his girlfriend that he got his herpes from the drinking fountain at Arden Park, not that co-ed at Cabo during spring break.

2. They never paid their 2010 league fee so the league would not let them signup.

C. They moved to a place where they could legally buy Four Loco.

D. Stuart won the pissing contest for who had the most ridiculously tall truck, so they were forced to move to another residential league.

Keep in mind there are a ton of little league (and other kid related) conflicts during the Spring league. Please let me know what games you are going to miss as soon as possible. We have a long list of possible subs, but it isn't always easy to scare up a player the day of the game. Keep in mind the games are Monday OR Tuesday each week.

Without further adieu, I present the Spring Schedule...

3/28 - 6:30 vs. Hanks - After last season's shocking upset of the Hanks, we will no longer be able to sneak up on them. Actually, that's probably pretty good advice given their age unless you want to brush up on those CPR skills. Tough sledding to grab the Hanks in the first week. The cold weather can't be good for their joints. We need to take advantage.

4/4 - BYE - Take a needed break from the gruelling schedule thus far.

4/12 - 5:45 vs. T-Sox - The T-Sox are now the cream of Arden Park softball. Ever since they starting sporting those cool retro White Sox hats and started recruiting based on talent, they have jumped way up in the league.

4/18 - 6:45 vs. Young Guns - My spell check tries to change their name to Young Gnus. I don't like guns and I don't like people trying to cop our name. Get off my lawn!

4/26 - 7:00 vs. Don't Panic - Ruh Roh. The more I see them the less I remember why I think these guys are all old stoners that think they have cleaned up their drug use because they no longer drop acid. I'm sure it's not true, but like most things, the story is better than the truth.

5/02 - 6:00 vs. Ice Bags - I don't know these guys at all but they'll always be the T-Bags to me until they do something memorable.

5/10 - 7:00 vs. Off Regularly - We got them to finally change their name! I hated Last Call. Sadly, the official schedule did not catch the name change in time and it lists them as "Ahern Const." Construction must be tough if they can't even afford the "ruction" at the end of their name. Maybe we should bring some Coors Light for them after this game.

5/17 - 6:00 vs. The Long Islanders - I've been to Long Island and nothing I've seen in these guys remind me of it. I would like to change their name to the League Average. Nice guys. Always finish 5-5. I bet if I asked them for an opinion on something, the answer 50% of the time would be "I can take it or leave it". They are the C students of AP softball.

5/24 - 6:00 vs. Silver Bullets - Our beer rival. Good guys, bad beer. Good team to finish regular season with.

5/31 & 6/6 - Single Elimination Tourney - June Madness!!