Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Bad Gnus Enjoy Their Taste of the Rockies

The Bad Gnus dominated from start to finish in their most recent effort. I just wanted to see what that sentence looks like. It is not often that I can type that after a game against competent competition. The Silver Bullets are always a good challenge for the Gnus. They are a team that we feel we can beat, but they probably beat us in heartbreaking fashion more often than not.



Monday night the Gnus had solid offense up and down the order. That resulted in scoring in just about every inning. Usually the Bad Gnus like to save up all of their scoring aggresion for just one inning. Our Step-Howard, Greg Thomas, played left wonderfully in Daddy Howard's absence. He did hit into an out and I don't usually see that when I'm playing defense against him every week.

The Newcastle Player of the Game goes to Erik Grotte. Everytime Erik continued to get on base with a 4 X 4 night. He made a nice catch in the outfield and selflessly volunteered to play catcher for too many innings during the game. Stuart nearly took the honor this week. He made three excellent stabs on hard hit grounders and first and had two key hits. He came up just short as he did not wear his shirt to the game. My understanding is that we all wear our tye-dye to work on game days like high school football players rock their jerseys to school. Tell me I'm not wrong. I have to put up with so much crap from my co-workers...


Despite the strong showing and the approximately 11-6 victory, only one play actually stands out to me. The Bad Gnus have a deep respect for Scott Pettinato and would love to bring him to the team of peace and love. He has thus far rejected our advances. One of his many softball talents is his cannon arm in the outfield. Kirk tried to test this arm early in the game, before the Gnus pulled away. Scott came up throwing and deposited the ball somewhere near Watt Avenue. If he was trying to impress us with his arm strength at the expense of his softball talent, it was successful. There are some theories of what was actually going on there. Some thought he wrote his phone number on the ball and was tossing it to a jogger on La Sierra. Some thought he was trying to break a window at the Vujovich house. Others thought he just being doing so many 12 ounce curls lately that the ball felt like a marble in his manly arm. Either way, thanks for the making the game more enjoyable for us, Scott.


I appreciate the hat at the top of this post. But I thought the only time Coors Light was bottled it was in a plastic bottle and it was called Alhambra. I don't know if the bottle opener on the hat is actually needed. However, if any beer, and I mean any beer, wants to stock an ice chest for the Bad Gnus every week and cover our dues, I'll be open to listening. I was so spoiled back in the day when we had Sam Adams sponsor us for a year. What Appleton lacked in catching balls thrown to him as a first baseman, he more that made up for with that contribution to Bad Gnus history.


Worst 5 beers that people actually drink. I'm not talking about Old Milwaukee or Natty Light or whatever I bought for the CSUS Rugby keg. I mean stuff that when the barkeep points to the fellas and after I shout out "Newcastle", the next guy might pop this order out of his beer-hole.


5. Coors Light - This used to be much higher (lower?) on this list as it tastes like beer flavored water to me. However, I have learned to appreciate it in two very specific situations: 1. On a hot day when playing golf or softball or 2.When my ice chest is empty and the other team offers up a tasty Silver Bullet.

4. Guinness - I really want to love this beer. It just doesn't taste good to me. Too creamy? I do want to give big extra points to the Fox & Goose downtown. When ordered there, the thick foam has a shamrock in it! not sure how they pull that off and they're not telling me. Sometimes it's just better to believe in magical beer fairies. It is worth ordering just to appease my artistic side. Guinness also goes down smooth in an Irish Car Bomb, as far as I remember. People have told me I enjoyed it.

3. Fosters - Austrailian for Budweiser

2. Budweiser. I actually had Budweiser in London but it was a Czech beer and it tasted very good. Talk about a mind-f. American Bud tastes like ass. Bud Light tastes like a skinny ass. I'm sorry, I have a strong dislike for this beer.

1. Sierra Nevada. I want to like this beer. It's somewhat local. My buddy Kev hooked me up with one of those windbreaker shirts with the Sierra Nevada symbol and everything. I just can't drink it. It is far too hoppy and it just tears up my not-at-all fragile stomach. I'll eat fried jalapeno's dipped in pepper sauce, fish tacos on the streets of Ensenda and burritos from the sketchiest aluminum trucks in the city without problem. While those foods may use the intestinal car pool lane through my system, everyone enjoys the ride. Sierra Nevada makes me question my love of beer. Not to worry, I quickly shake myself back to reality.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Hanked!

I'm a big fan of moral victories. I'll take a victory anyway I can get it. In fact, if there is not actually a prize related to your victory you could do much worse than a moral one. It is so rare the Bad Gnus are linked to the word moral without the im preceding it.

Last year, we played the Hanks twice and both times lost twenty-something to one-something. Those are complete beat downs. I remember a game that they batted around before making an out in a game against us last year. This year the Bad Gnus have been playing much better. The first Hanks game this year, we shut them out for 7 innings but never could score ourselves. Having trouble scoring is a long standing problem for many of the Gnus, but we have not been hitting much lately either. Hey-o!

I've heard whispers that age may finally be catching up to the Hanks. Ok, it was me whispering it into my wish jar, but I still heard them. Well, that didn't seem to show this week. After two innings, the Bad Gnus trailed 10-2. I'm not going to reconstruct that clusterfielding of a defense we threw out there in the first two innings, but let's say the Hanks got a few extra outs.

In the third inning, Newcastle Player of the Game, Bill Moebs took over the hill. I was stunned he even made an appearance to the game during this busy time of year of his work. Thong modeling is at it's peak in the summer months... But right before game time he came strolling up. Not just strolling up but with walking in slow motion with trumpets blaring as he was carrying an ice chest. We decided to play defense for Bill. Not sure why we decided to revolt against Greg's pitching all the sudden. Maybe he looked too cool in his hipster glasses. Or maybe it is that we don't know how to react to a Bad Gnu who is not carrying a front porch under that tye-dye. Either way, the Hanks only got one more run the rest of the way. The Bad Gnus did finally rally. Key plays included Howard's long blast and NPOG Moobs going 3 X 3. But the Gnus came up short in the end, losing 11-9.

We were greeted this week by a large fan base of the Hanks women sitting on the Gnus side. And who could blame them for wanting to see all of that man-candy and wanting to sit in the shade. Well, maybe it was just the shade. They were nice enough to not only compliment this humble blog, but they tried to not laugh too hard at us during those first two innings. I'm not sure if we appreciated the slow, loud, sarcastic clap after we finally got three outs in the first inning. Soon enough, they shade shifted and they made way for the sexiest fan base in Arden Park.

The Hanks complimentary nature of this blog has now moved them into fourth place in my all-time list of Hanks, just edging out "ies".

1. Hank Hill
2. Henry Weinahardt's
3. Hank Aaron
4. The Hanks
5. Hankies

Next week brings a bye week, but do not miss the special summer book club edition of indoor softball! This is sure to be a hit. See you out there.