Bad Gnus Score 4 in Last Inning

(Hang in there. I had some time to kill at work today. This is a long one.)

This year is not turning out to be very competitive. Once again, the softball complex only has one men's league on Monday nights. Whether you are a bunch of meth-head, athletic tourneyment teamers, like the Buindy's that we faced last night, or you are a bunch of beer-bellied, 30 or 40-somethings that play once a week, everyone is in the same league. No amount of tantrums by our manager is going to change it. Hopefully, half the league will be actual D league teams and those games will be closer. This season will likely end our association with the softball complex. Be on the lookout for new locales. The faves right now are Howe Park and Arden Park.

Despite the outcome, it is always great to go out to the yard with the fellas. the Bad Gnus are and always will be an exceptional group of guys. Even though we were down 14-0 after the top of the first, who would've wanted to miss out on Bill tripping on first base after hustling to not hit into a double play. Well, maybe Bill. But the rest of us had a hoot. I mean you get to see the roll... the huge dust cloud... the feet in the air... It's beautiful. Already made me forget that I followed that up by hitting into a double play myself. It was topped off by seeing the blood running down his leg when he came back to the dugout. He'll be picking gravel out of the pus-ridden, swolled gash for weeks.

The Buindy's had our old buddy Joaquin out in right field! I never wrote up the game that Joaquin whored for us. Dude was something else. Every ball hit, no matter where it was, you would hear a loud "I go!" and he'd run and cut someone off for the ball. I have never seen someone with his energy level on the softball field. Maybe he drinks a lot of coffee. Yeah, that's what it is. He seemed rather subdued last night. I think he was on the phone all night in the field. That's a bit of a sad commentary of our offensive prowess.

As I mentioned, the Buindy's scored 14 runs in the first inning, including two very long home runs. Joaquin batted three times in the inning. We only had four players bat three times the whole game. It took us three innings to get everyone one at bat. No matter how hard the other team hits the ball, if you don't score you can't win. After the first inning, the Buindy's only scored 5 times for some reason. They were only advancing one base at a time and their third home run counted as an out.

The top of the first inning did include our defensive play of the game. Our first out of the game came on a very hard hit line drive that was targeted for the grass in right center field before Erik Grotte's glove made what would be its last play of what appears to have been a very, very long life. Erik reached across his body and snared the shot backhanded. In the next inning, Erik almost made another great catch of a line drive, but the ball ripped through the dried and cracked leather laces holding the glove together. Erik played the rest of the game with his son's little league mitt with no noticable difference in play. Great play, Erik!

With the score 19-0 in the bottom of the fifth inning, the Bad Gnus put together a Bad Gnu inning. With a runner on, Erik Grotte drilled a ball to the wall in right center. Erik was using an Easton bat Joaquin supplied for us as he is sponsored by the bat company. Fittingly, the Bad Gnus have been trying all year to get sponsored by a beer company. Erik raced around the bases. As he turned for home, the Bad Gnus third base coaches, all conveniently located in the first base dugout, told Erik to hold up, but he ran right through that stop sign and challenged the arm of the shortstop who was holding the ball in shallow centerfield. The relay throw sailed wide and Erik had broked up the shutout and completed his inside the park home run!

That gave the Bad Gnus life. This week's Rex Davis (Rex was looking good this week!) ripped another hit, bringing up John Weisenfarth. John, this season's first alternate, which means he'll probably be asked to play every week, was making his second appearance for the Gnus. John smoked the ball into the right field corner for a double. But John, perhaps fueled by the earlier excitement provided by Erik, tested Joaquin's arm in right by going for third. The dugout was only hoping the good doctor would not slide before being tagged out to avoid witnessing an awkward self-examination, but John beat the throw! The ball got away from the third baseman and John took off for home, beating the catcher who was out of position and fell down trying to beat John to the plate. Another thrilling two run homer!

The league director, after hearing the Bad Gnus manager whine about the unfair competition earlier in the evening, notified us during the big rally that a fourth home run by the opposition would result in an ejection. The Buindy's only had 9 players, so an ejection would result in a forfeit and give the Bad Gnus the most improbable of comebacks. Doug had the plan to groove meatballs all inning to the muscle heads who can't keep the ball in the park, but the next inning only lasted one pitch, a long foul ball, before time expired. So close!

The Newcastle Player of the Game wasn't much of a struggle this week. Doug receives consideration as he put on the finest display of player whoring we've seen, pulling the guy in jeans away from his nachos to be our 9th player and 2nd whore right before the forfeit. What was that guy doing there anyway? He wasn't with anyone. He wasn't there to play as he didn't have a glove. (Wearing jeans cannot be a sign of not being ready to play anymore thanks to EG!) He wasn't even watching the games. He was just sitting in the beer garden, eating. Did he choose that as a restaurant? Doug also pitched well and I don't remember him doing anything embarrassing at the plate. But the winner this week goes to EG! Erik Grotte made the defensive play of the game, then played 3+ innings of defense with a little league glove. The also had the highlight reel homerun. Great game, Erik!

As part of his prize package, Erik will be able to open the first beer at parking lot camping following our next game. Well, that is the prize package. Game time is 8:30 on June 19. Please be there so doug doesn't need to troll for the next Rex Davis.