Bad Gnus are Back and Badder Than Ever!!

The poet laureate of the1970's once howled, It has been a long time since we rock and rolled. The Bad Gnus last took the field in September of 2011. Back when gas was $3.60 a gallon, the Dow Jones was in the upper 12,000's, the Republicans were all angry about one thing or another and my left knee ached when I tried to run. So basically everything is exactly the same! Same as it always was. You can re-live the conclusion of our last season directly below this post, since I am sure most of you have forgotten any bad times and only remember all of the positive and happy times we spent at Arden Park.

The good news for the Bad Gnus at the start of our 21st year, is that we control our own destiny. The season is a blank canvas waiting for us to explore our own creativity and talent. Will we create an impressionist masterpiece the likes of which would make Monet want to swim in his own pond of lily pads? Will make some kind of crazy three booobed, one eyes cubist freakshow that would make Picasso sport wood? Or will we splooge all over the canvas in a variety of colors and hang in on a wall that would have Jackson Pollack want to trash his apartment? That is the wonderful thing about Opening Day. Endless possibilities!

The schedule below will list the time and date of each game, but more importantly, it will call out the Chosen One. He will be the host for the game, bringing refreshments to the Gnus to savor after 55 minutes of mostly standing around. That can work up a thirst. Onto the schedule...

Monday, July 2 - 7:00 vs. Young Guns

Sure, these guys won the Spring League. Sure, they tried to get league cred by jumbling the letters of our last name. Sure, only Teen Sexy is within 7 years of age of any of their players. But we have experience!

Host: Big Sexy

Tuesday, July 10 - 7:00 vs. Don't Panic

There it is. Don't Panic has been trying to go younger, but they are still recruiting at the local head shops. 7:00 is too late in the day for them. You do not want to play them at 4:20.

Host: Erik Grotte

Monday, July 16 - 6:00 vs. Longshots

I do think this is the same group that drinks behind a gas station next to a Pub. Newest team in the league vs. the Gnuest team in the league.

Host: Greg Blom

Tuesday, July 17 - 6:00 vs. T-Sox

This team has been the new cream of the league over the last couple of years, but we'll be loose from playing two days in a row.

Host: Greg Thiesen

Tuesday, July 24 - 7:00 vs. Ahern

Here it is... The game I always want more than any other. Cancel any vacation plans you have for this weekend. Make sure to come to the park by 4:00 for practice. We are taking these guys down this year. A whole year of bragging rights is at stake!

Host: John Calderon

Tuesday, July 31 - 6:00 vs. Long Islanders

I played a game for the Islanders this Spring. They are like the Gnus without the cool shirts, killer personalities, hot wives and tasty ice chests.

Host: Clayton Smith

Tuesday, August 7 - 6:00 vs. Silver Bullets

Another game with 4 possible outcomes: We blow them out. They blow us out. We win a thriller. We lose a heart-breaker. Make sure to check out these gripping theater.

Host: Ted Messner

Tuesday, August 14 - 7:00 vs. Hanks

The Hanks aren't what they once were but they are still remarkable talented for a, ahem, mature group of fellas.

Host: Pete Nixon

August 20-21  - First Round of Single Elimination Tourney

Could be against any team at any time! This may also coincide with a Bad Gnus end of the year picnic.

Host: Howard Hughes

Can't wait to get this season going! Please let me know as far in advance as possible of any games you may not be able to attend. See you at the Park!