Spring Season Schedule

Here is the listing of opportunities for you weekend warriors to get early week glory at the park. The following are the dates and times of the Spring League for your FIRST PLACE Bad Gnus.

Mon 3/29 6:30 vs. Silver Bullets (Won 14-8!)

Mon 4/05 6:30 vs. T-Sox (Defending champs)

Mon 4/12 6:45 vs. Hanks (This is the year we get them)

Mon 4/19 BYE (Come watch some Blue Jays baseball at Valley Oak)

Mon 4/26 6:00 vs. The Long Islanders (That's so 80's)

Tue 5/04 6:00 vs. Balco Bombers (he he he)

Tue 5/11 7:00 vs. Beach Hut (There are no male employees there)

Tue 5/18 BYE (More BJ's at Valley Oak)

Mon 5/24 7:00 vs. Ahern (Circle the calendar)

Mon 5/31 Memorial Day (BBQ at Seanny Mac's!)

Tue 6/01 7:00 vs. Don't Panic (They have their calendars circled)

Mon 6/07 BYE (I'm pretty tired of Bye weeks now)

Mon 6/14 7:00 vs. Ice Bags (If they merge with the T-Sox, they'll be the T-Bags)

That's it. By the end of the season school will be out, I'll be a golden tan color, the Gnus will have their first ever championship and the commercial real estate market will have made a remarkable turnaround. Let's make at least one of those things happen!

Silver Bullets Go Down. Smoothly.

It's been a long time since the Bad Gnus have been in first place this late into the season. We will have to see how long we can keep this hot streak going. The Gnus woke up after 3 innings to put a 14-8 beat down on the Silver Bullets on a grey and windy night in Arden Park. Since so many of the regular Gnus missed this one, I'll try to sum up what happened. Well, I guess when it gets boiled down, it was that so many regular Gnus missed this one.

The first thing I heard when I arrived at the park was Silver Bullet Scott Lippi wanting a comment posted on this blog. He said "Tell Howard he's as big a pussy as he has been since the fourth grade. And you can print that". While not disputing the issue, I pressed Scott for the reason he would defame a first-ballot Bad Gnus Hall-of-Famer as soon as I hopped off my bike. Scott informed me that Howard was missing the opening of this 20th year of Bad Gnus softball because he had an ear infection. To be fair, I remember when my kids used to get ear infections. They seemed incredibly painful. I'm so glad that my kids have outgrown them. Get well soon, Howie.

The Gnus started off slowly and with only 9 players. (This is where we'll call out The Stuart for RSVP'ing and blowing us off.) Much respect to Ahern coach Greg O'Connor, who I called while I was playing third base during the first inning to come join us to be the 10th. He was at the field, ready to go in less than 5 minutes. Not only did he stop what he was doing to join the Gnus on a cold night, but he shined. He played a solid outfield and I don't remember him making an out at the plate.

Clearly the Big Sexy was struggling a bit early. Trying to be extra heads up, he went all the way to third after an overthrow to first. Somehow, he missed second on the way and both the second baseman and the umpire noticed it. I thought I actually tripped over it, but it must've just been the dirt. That was, of course, followed by a couple of Bad Gnus hits that would've scored him in a scoreless game. The game would remain scoreless, until the Big Error Five gave the Silver Bullets a few extra outs in the third inning. The Bullets would put a 5 spot on the board to lead 5-0 after 3.

It was bad enough that I knew I wasn't fielding well and that Mrs. Sexy reminded me from 100 feet away that, well let's just say she said that I've done better previously. But I also had to hear the heckling of 9 year old Iron Mike Thiesen, who I coach on the minor Blue Jays. I don't remember his exact words. To paraphrase: "how can you teach us how to play baseball when you play like you've never even seen a game. That is the last time I am listening to you. If I don't pitch and bat leadoff next game, I'm showing the whole team the pictures". I'm pretty sure he didn't have enough zoom on that camera. I'll just say that it was Moebs throwing the ball into centerfield.

With no offense and some shaky fielding, this looked like it would go down as most early season Bad Gnus games go. But the 2010 version of the Bad Gnus, along with 4 subs, were not going down the beaten path! They chipped away with a few runs in 4th to set up the Bad Gnus Inning (tm). The Bad Gnus batted around and then some, putting up 9 runs in the 5th to go up 12-5. With the sun setting behind the clouds, it looked as if the Gnus would only have to shut them down just one time. Effecient defense, even by the Big Sexy, pushed the game to the 7th inning, where both teams put up a couple of meaningless runs.

Newcastle player of the game could go a lot of different places this game! Erik Grotte paid his $35 league fee to me prior to the game. Don't be shy, the rest of you! The Big Sexy brought beer and had three solid hits, but the wicked fielding and baserunning surely outweighs even the frosty Pyramids. Rex Davis! Rex has rarely failed in his 20 years on the Gnus. This night, the role of Rex Davis was played for John C's neighbor's nephew, Kyle. (How is that for digging up players on game day!) Kyle is in his 20's and clearly plays a little softball from time to time. Poor coaching stuck him at catcher all game, where he never complained. My memory may be a little sketchy, but I think Kyle may have hit for the cycle! New Bad Gnus first alternate, Greg Thiesen played an excellent game. First off, playing first base, he lept in the air to snag a line drive. It's been many years since any of our first baseman was airborne that didn't involve tripping over the base. It was a beautiful play. Then, he ended the Bad Gnus Inning (tm) by drilling a triple over the right fielder and being thrown out at home by 10 feet. He's already running the bases like an old time Gnu! Also, in a show of solidary, he missed second base on his trip around the bases just to make me feel better. Greg was a solid candidate this game. However, it's always tough to give the Newcastle to a new Gnu.

The Newcastle player of the game is Greg Blom. Greg pitched like he never missed a game. Walking only one batter after not throwing a softball since August is amazing. How's that for muscle memory! Add to that several hard hits that he put by the third baseman. (I'm starting to think he is much more of a dead pull hitter that I am.) Excellent game by Greg. Maybe Newcastle will brew a gluten-free brew for you soon. I will accept the frosty beverage in his honor.

You will all be hearing soon about the new 20th anniversary edition of the Bad Gnus shirt. Stay tuned! Also, the schedule will be up soon. Next game is Monday, April 5 at 6:30. See you then.

Opening Day 2010!

Just picked up the season schedule. As soon as my finger touched the tangled table of tantalizing tussles, I was told that a new schedule is being created and it will be sent to me. Why not send it to me in the first place? Don't they know that to drive allllll the way down La Sierra, carefully planning to attend the mandatory meeting after any meeting actual happens but before the doors are locked conflicts with my busy Spring schedule?

I was told the first week won't change, so I do know the time and date of that. But telling you now before you read the rest of what's on my mind would defeat the purpose of the mandatory reading. Good luck timing the ending...

Here are some fun things I did find out. Arden Park is going to continue to use a 6 - 12 foot pitch range. Seemed pretty basic to me, but apparently the new ASA rule is 6 -10 feet. Dang! I wish we were using that. Then the Hanks 14 foot pitches might actually be called illegal. (Did I actually discuss softball rules on this blog??) I have three comments about what I know about the schedule.

1-There are 10 teams including all of usual suspects. Ahern is still using my least favorite name in the league. This creates 3 bye weeks =o( . But does make the season last until June 14. =0) That seems like forever from now!

B-We will play all of the teams in the league and the games will be on both Mondays and Tuesdays. Don't know what that will do for attendance. I wasn't expecting that. Aside from the scheduling difficulties, I really like being able to play all the teams. When I have the schedule released, hopefully you will be able tell me what games you can make.

III-WIN Financial is now the Balco Bangers. I knew WIN Financial couldn't possibly still be in business but I hoped that meant this garage full of tools would find another league. The more I thought about it, I'm glad they are here. Then I'd have to pick another team to anonymously slander on the world wide web. Balco Bangers is kind of a fun name for them. If there was "name-the-team" contest for that group, I'm sure I wouldn't have picked that first, but I might have actually picked it eventually for them. They are admitting to their not so hidden steriod use. I'm sure they like the double entendre' of the "Bangers" name. Although from what I understand about steriod use and their relationship to your walnut and sex drive, I would think the only thing they would be banging would be their head through the window of the latest bar that kicked them out.

Our first game is this Monday, March 29 at 6:30 against Silver Bullets. I'm fired up! I am officially the first to RSVP for opening day. Please let me know your plan ASAP. This season is bound to go down in history as one of our seasons. Actually, this may be the 20th season of Bad Gnus softball! I'll need a Gnu with a better memory to confirm that? Greg? Hell, he won't remember either? Kevin? Where the heck are you!?! Howard? He still looks the same as he did 20 years ago. He doesn't age, so he's not to be trusted. Rex Davis? Which one? I look forward to seeing you all.