Bad Gnus Continue Their Ascent

Wow. I don't know what to say. It's been years and years of chasing my white whales (I'm not calling the Ahern team fat, it's a literary reference. Sure, maybe a guy or two might need to realize that just because it's light beer and tastes like water, 10 Coors Lights is still 700 empty calories. But the Bad Gnus are not calling any pots black.) I feel a little like Inigo Montoya after he defeats the man with 6 fingers. I'm just not sure where to go from here.

Champagne has been running from all the faucets at Bad Gnus World Headquarters for two straight days. It's really been giving my hair a noticeable glean. I've been awoken by Queen's celebratory anthem all week. The birds' songs each day are a little nicer... the sunsets have been more dramatically beautiful... the guacamole on my burrito a little spicier... The world is just a better place now that the dragon has been slain.

How will the Bad Gnus move forward against Don't Panic this Tuesday at 7:00? You know those guys will be stumbling out of their smokey Scooby van at 6:50 all fired up to beat the only team they have taken down since medicinal marijuana was legalized.

Let's take a step back and bask in the glory that was Monday night. It was an unseasonably cold night for late May. That did not stop the requisite 10 to 15 future Gnus (Good Gnus!) from taking in their weekly whiffleball game, but it did surprisingly keep our hot wife number to a season low of 1.

The Bad Gnus wasted back to back hits to start the game as their 3-4-5 batters went down quietly. The second inning provided a second chance as the Gnus put together the first of their many two out rallies. Highlighted by The Howard's bases loaded triple to the firehouse parking lot, the Gnus took a 5-1 lead. Howard belted the ball all night. Pulling up on a possible double to end up only the double short of the cycle. He was hoping for a ground rule double to finish off the cycle. If he couldn't have it that way, he was content to wait until next week.

From there, the game was remarkably unremarkable. The Bad Gnus were up by 5 or 8 runs all game. Most the the Bad Gnus runs happened with two outs all night long. The Big Sexy wasted his at bats trying to rip B Diddy's head off and resulted in lazy fly balls. He was picked up by the lively bats up and down the order. Todd and Kevin both knocked the yellow off the ball all night and I believe every Bad Gnus had at least one hit.

The big story is the continued dominance of the lock down defense the Bad Gnus are displaying which is proving to be a hallmark of this 20th year of Bad Gnus softball. Once again, I cannot think of any errors. The defensive highlight of the game was provided by, who else, Newcastle Player of the Game, Howard Hughes. With the bases loaded and Ahern threatening to make a game of it, Howard made an excellent running catch of a drilled ball by Greg O'Connor. If that gets down, maybe the Bad Gnus don't coast home.

The final score: Bad Gnus 13 - Ahern/Upper Deckers/Off Regulary 7. Ahern scratched in 3 runs in the final frame to make the score appear closer than the game really was. I am hoping that this result will help Ahern switch to one of the Bad Gnus-approved names for their team. I'll be keeping my eye on the schedule for the summer league to look for the new name. Until then, I'll enjoy the glory of knowing the Bad Gnus destroyed Ahern, the Bad Gnus take the Upper Deckers and the Bad Gnus beat Off Regularly.