Bad Gnus Will Continue to Beat Off Regularly *

There may be some Arden Park Softball pundits out there that think the Bad Gnus thorough drubbing of Off Regulary/Ahern/Upper Deckers in the Spring Season was a bit of luck. A blind pig finding a nut. That it was better to be lucky than good. That socialism is killing America. Ok, that is a different kind of pundit, but all of those pundits are equally insane. Especially Glenn Beck. I mean who watches that asshole? From the demographics, I assume several of the Hanks. But I digress. Thinking about Fox News makes me want to kick someone in the nards.


Back to the topic at hand. Not a lot of people put much notice in our one-sided beatdown of the formally formidable Ahern clan back in May. In fact, when the standings came out, we were shorted a win. When I called Lisa to complain, I was told our losses included a loss to Last Call. I first had to try to figure out who the heck she was talking about. Then I had to correct her and force her to apologize for her grievous mistake. I am still awaiting the written apology.


Those who witnessed the pounding on that fair Tuesday evening, know that Walt won't take the extra base anymore. That Mark was not there. That Scott and Greg cannot hit it past the gazelle-like grace of Howard. That Eddie was not there. That B Diddy likes him a 6-4-3 ground ball. That Robbie was not there. That Bob can only hit it to right. Further they saw the shine of a new dawning of Arden Park mediocrity. Fly balls no longer are dropped in the Bad Gnus outfield. First basemen wearing the tye dye now catch a thrown ball. Fly balls hit to left are now hit a little shorter and are base hits.


That night was not a flash in the pan but a big bang that created a new world in Arden Park softball. We have climbed from the sea and are now walking tall amongst the gorillas (Balco Bombers) and bears (Beach hut's pitcher) that roam the softball landscape. We are no longer just the coolest guys with the hottest chicks and coldest (and best) ice chest. We are now amongst the softball elite of Arden Park and need to carry ourselves as such.


The Summer Season has not started off the way we would like it to. Our attendance has been spotty due to luxury vacations and extended baseball seasons. This week's game against Ahern is just what is needed to right the ship and put us back on the path of our destiny of greatness. Answer that knock at the door, Bad Gnu. It is the opportunity to prove our worth, to quiet the pundits and to set a trend of future trouncings that will continue through the decade.


When you take the field on a warm Tuesday night, know that a Bad Gnus legacy is being forged. That the Bad Gnus will be the best team on that field. But most of all, know that I'm bringing an ice chest full of frosties, so win or lose, we win! See you out there.



* Note: This post is a milking of our first of what I hope to be many victories by the Bad Gnus over Ahern. Just in case I am unable to continue claiming victory in this rivalry, I figured I'd get one more shot across the bow.