Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Bad Gnus Fall In Rivalry Game



This area is thick with rivalries such as Bad Gnus v. Ahern Const. There are heated Kings v. Lakers games. Cal v. USC Football is always interesting. Even in high school you have Rio Americano v. Jesuit soccer. Not surprisingly, I root hard for all of those "underdog" teams. When these underdogs beat their rival, it doesn't really matter what happens the rest of the year. They have that one special victory to hang their sweat-rimmed hat on. Sure the competition might not even realize these are high intensity rivalry games. The Lakers have the Celtics. USC has UCLA. Jesuit soccer has Davis. I suppose Ahern has the Hanks.


In anticipation of Rivalry Week and coming off a two week stretch where the Bad Gnus could do no right, they took advantage of the bye week by not just drinking and getting fatter as they typically do during a layoff. They also held their first practice of the 21st Century with half of the team actually attending. That robust attendance paid dividends as their newly constructed left side of the infield of Clayton at third and Sean at short hardly made any errors and the team bats woke up. Unfortunately, the one thing that was not covered in practice was baserunning.


Monday was a beautiful and mild summer night in Arden Park. Conditions were perfect for a rivalry victory. Ahern Const., perhaps feeling more nervous than they let on, had a few tricks up their sleeve. Ahern broke Arden Park Old Guy Softball League protocol by starting a shortstop under 30 who was not a blood relative. Seems like a nice kid, but not only does he not have gray stubble in his 5 o'clock shadow, he can't grow a 5 o'clock shadow. I bet he doesn't even have hair tufts coming out of his back!


Ahern Const. also broke out new uniforms right before the game since they can't rely on just wearing Arden Park Champion t-shirts anymore. All of those shirts are either stained or lost by now. Their sponsor spared no cost by providing both home and away uniforms. Proving they could not be bought, both Scott and Paul refused to be a walking billboard for the founding company. Let me take the rest of this paragraph to speak directly to the Kilt Pub. Hey John, if you're reading this, the Bad Gnus guarantee to wear your logo on any color tye dyed uniform on all players for a full beer sponsorship. You don't even have to cover our league fees, just the beer tab after games.


Perhaps the most dasterdly case of gamesmanship pulled off by Ahern was the impressive foresight and planning required for Bob Ahern to pull off a perfect long con on the Big Sexy. Bob got Mike a bunch of interviews with a company he was real excited about. Then right before the first pitch, when the timing could cause the most damage, Bob made sure to pass along the news of the job going to a more qualified, better looking and smarter candidate. Bob knew this kind of information would result in a bunch of pop ups off the over anxious bat of the Big Sexy. That happens anyway Bob, you didn't have give me an excuse.


The first ten minutes of the game could not have gone any better for the Bad Gnus. Instead of the typical 10 runs surrendered in the first inning, the Gnus shut out the potent top of the Ahern lineup. That momentum carried over into the bottom half of the inning, where Clayton, Greg T and Sean hit consecutive singles to load the bases. Clayton tested Greg O'Connor's arm on Keith's shallow fly ball. Greg's throw was predictably off target by 15 feet, but got to the catcher right before Clayton ran into him for the inning ending 7-2 double play.


After only giving up a couple of runs in the top of 2nd the Gnus once again had consecutive singles by Greg B, Stu and Mike to load the bases with one out. Matt hit a shallow fly to Scott who predictably threw Greg out with a perfect strike to home to once again end the inning on outfield assisted double play. Only the Gnus offense can get 6 hits in 10 at bats and be shutout through 2 innings.


The next time through the lineup, Howard and Greg T were not going to take any chances with singles as they both ripped triples to the trees sandwiched around another hit by Clayton. Greg would score to give the Gnus 3 runs and put them right back in the game. Keeping the Newcastle Player of the Game in the Thiesen family, Greg takes home the prize this week with his offensive output and underrated play at first. A lot of the throws coming his way were coming in at all different speeds and heights and he made them all look like perfect throws. Congrats to Greg! To keep the Thiesen family in the running, Jackie may need to do some baking for the post game spread after the next game. I hear homemade taquitos go well with Pacifico.


It would stay close into the bottom of the seventh. With the Bad Gnus trailing by only 3, there was a feeling in the air that this would be the night the Gnus would be able to hang their hat on. With one out Greg B, Stu and Mike once again hit consecutive singles scoring Greg, but Stu was picked off after rounding second on a horrible call by the horrible blue with the horrible personality and horrible grasp of the pitch ceiling. It seemed like a makeup call from the previous inning when Clayton was picked off second and was horribly called safe. That took the wind out of the Bad Gnus sails, who could not put together a two out rally. They floated into port on the wrong end of a 9-7 pier.


After the game, Ahern drank from their surprisingly diverse ice chest just as they will 7 other times this season after dispatching just any other team on any other week. The Bad Gnus were left to kick themselves for coming so close to dispatching their rival on the one week this summer that could have been monumental point of their softball year. No moral victories here. Next year Ahern Const., next year.

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