Sour Nut Fails to Ruin Season

Last week, I was at an end-of-the-season Rivercats game enjoying a bag of peanuts and a cool drink, let’s just call it a lemonade. I was enjoying my peanuts and my time. I had arrived at the bottom of my cup and the end of my bag. I placed the last peanut between my mouth and I was treated to a sour, shriveled up nut whose taste was unable to be covered by my last swallow of lemonade. It was a horrible way to end an otherwise delicious treat.

Last night was a shriveled up peanut to say the least. I have had an enjoyable season with my new team. Though I have missed several games in the second half between globe-hopping and regular hopping around because of my cranky knee, the team has had successes. More than that, the season has provided me with a great semi-athletic outlet with a bunch of guys that I can consider friends.  

This game was very reminiscent of Bad Gnus games of my past. I thought we were the better team from the outset. However, after 3 innings in which BSBD had several well struck base hits and played flawless defense, the lead was only 3-1, due to many failed opportunities to cash in with runners on. It just takes one tough-break inning to ruin the game when you don’t take advantage of your chances and that inning was the bottom of the 5^th.

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After BSBD snuck another run home by the crazy/aggressive base coaching of Windmill Bob, the lead stood at 4-1. It seemed like we were up by 10. The Long Islanders starting chipping away, literally. Their inning was filled with little chip shots just in front on the outfielders and out of reach of infielders. The usually immaculate defense also let a couple runners aboard that otherwise would have resulted in outs. By the time BSBD was able to turn their 4^th inning-ending double play in 5 innings, they were trailing 5-4.

No big deal, we aren’t going to give up another run. We just need to scratch 2 runs across in 2 innings. Nope. Didn’t happen. No real good reason for it, but there was no good reason for most of what happened that night. I’m not even going to mention Walt taking a called third strike earlier in the game. Wait, what?

The Shiner Bock player of the game is going to our fearless leader, Greg O! I don’t know if he actually ever got a hit but he was completely robbed of extra bases twice by young outfielders that will have no chance at those balls in 10 years. If just one of those balls fall, we might be playing next week. Aside from those non-hits, Greg played an excellent left field, not only that he got everything in his vicinity, but he was positioned so well. He saved several hits with his combination of brains and talent. The last Shiner should be sweeter than the last nut.

Our last game is also a time to reflect back on the season. Look at this picture of Sarah accepting her Shiner Bock Trophy. To me this picture epitomizes the joy of this team. It is a silly picture of one of the beautiful Women of BS, in a circle of post-gaming Deadlies, accepting her trophy that was handmade by the son of a player. It is times such as this that will have us fired up to come out next year to start of the 2014 Spring league, not the opportunity to turn that final fly out to a line drive hit. When it comes down to it, the errors, defensive gems, fly outs and doubles in the gap don’t nearly matter as much as the opportunity to hang out in the park with friends. See you in the Spring!

BSBD Expands to 1-0

All teams are expansion teams at some time. For most of the teams in the Arden Park Beer League, that time was quite a while ago. I can imagine a time when Ahern Construction was new to the softball league. Walt was flying around the bases. Mark was turning any ground ball in the 95864 zip code into an out. Robbie was wearing his big boy pants and chasing butterflies behind the bleaches while his dad deftly worked the pivot at second base.

This week, BSBD ran into the most recent expansion team, Alive & Kicking. Sounds more like a soccer team name and from the looks of some of their defensive plays, some of their players may be more comfortable in a sport where they don’t use their hands. A & K appears to be filled with good guys that are a welcome addition to our league. They will only head up from here. Chief among their players are two former Gnus, Caldy and Todd O. Needless to say, those were A & K’s most valuable players.

This game was pretty much a breeze for most of the Deadlies. There were plenty of hits in our bats and some outs were played into hits by the Kicks. I can’t remember much of it, as the curse of Teddy Ballgame reared its one-eyed head. I have never thought much about wearing a cup playing third base prior to a recent discussion with Ted regarding my testicular carelessness. We don’t always talk about our junk when we get together, but give a couple guys long enough and the talk will veer. At this game, I thought a lot about wearing a cup from the second inning on. Thankfully, I already have 4 beautiful boys and my only repercussion from the tough hop on (into) a hard ball is the pain and swelling that has lasted 3 days so far. I do know that I have some shopping to do.

The final score was something like 14-3. I don’t think the schedule is quite as easy over the next three weeks, but BSBD is humming along right now, keyed by excellent defense and pitching. The good times will keep coming. The Shiner Bock player of the game this week goes to B Diddy! Brett has been on quite a hitting streak since the middle of the playoffs. He kept that going with a 3 X 3 night this week. He’s not slicing anything. All of his softball drives are right down the fairway. Great job, B Diddles!

Second Runner Up

The Bad Gnus have a much prouder history than some readers may know. There are many teams in the Arden Park League who only know the Gnus as a rag tag bunch of happy-go-lucky middle-aged guys who could occasionally put together a big enough rally to not throw away a game in the last inning and could string together a few wins each season. Over the past 10 years at Arden Park, we were never in last place, but certainly we did not contend for the park title.

In a different generation, we were known as a rather athletic, softball savvy group of 30 year olds who nearly always finished in second place at the Sacramento Softball Complex. We might have even taken home a title once or twice, but I specifically remember losing the championship game and finishing in second place at least 6 times. As the Bad Gnus grew older and players who moved on were replaced with people of as high of character if not as high of batting average, the Gnus benchmarks for success were shifted from v-necks to long necks.

My first season with Be Silent Be Deadly has been a wonderful transition for the Big Sexy. There is still a fair amount of sorrow related to the demise of the Bad Gnus. However, the season could not have gone any better. Not only has the stress of fielding a team and positioning them been lifted, but the Be Silent Be Deadly crew has been remarkably successful, while maintaining a wonderful culture. After winning all 4 of my regular season games, BSBD was 3-1 in the playoffs going into Tuesday night’s semi-final match up with the Young Hanks. We nearly got a whole additional season of softball in these playoffs!

Coming off our impressive 11-2 dismantling of the Longshots on Monday, the Deadlies were quietly confident as the Young Hanks tweeted, facebooked and vined their way to getting 10 bodies on the field. These are not your Dad’s Hanks.

There is still a tremendous amount of talent on their side of the field. The Hanks shout out to the past by having GT and Jerry lead off the game, but the Young Hanks’ game is all about speed. They can chase down anything in the air and are a menace on the basepaths. During this semi-final game, the Hanks’ outfielders made several running catches. BSBD matched their defensive prowess with a complete lockdown of the Hanks. The YH scored 3 runs on one misplayed ball as there speed allowed them to touch all the bases on just one mistake.

Aside from that, the teams were deadlocked at a well-played 4-4 in the bottom of the 7th with the Hanks coming to bat, looking to steal a win. Team captain and possible sprint champion, Christian led off the inning with a deep drive to centerfield that he turned into 3 bases, but then the convergence of 3 things led to his downfall. First, he was so fast that he had a hard time stopping on the bag. As he reached the bag he was stretching his toe in an attempt to stay on the bag and not over run it. Second, Greg’s relay throw was a bit high to third base causing the Big Sexy to expend all 2 inches of his vertical leaping ability. Third, the Big Sexy is not that nimble. In an attempt to catch the ball, not hurt his knee any further and to not fall down, he kinda landed on the 100-pounds-lighter base runner. That momentum was enough to pull Christian off the bag while the glove holding the ball had come to rest on his back.

The umpire called the runner out for coming off the bag. I understand the runner’s dispute of the call. Though I didn’t intend to push him off the bag, it would be pretty easy for the umpire to say “the fat guy landed on him; safe”. We definitely would have Been Silent. I bet Christian feels bad for the un-Christian way he treated the umpire. The ump decided that he did not come out to the park for $30 AND to be degraded, so he invited the Young Hank to enjoy the rest of the game in a different area of the park.

BSBD were way too silent with runners in scoring position for the first 8 innings of this game. We had many more opportunities to score than our counterparts, but failed to cash on a number of occasions. Just one hit with runners in scoring position would have catapulted us into the Championship Game.

With the T-Sox, impatiently waiting for the winner of the semi-final game to be decided, the teams headed to the 9^th inning. In the top of the frame, BSBD finally cashed in, scoring 4 runs to take what appeared to be an insurmountable 8-4 lead. Sadly, we picked a bad time to stop playing good defensive. Our sometimes sure-handed third baseman misplayed a hard grounder and compounded the mistake by throwing the ball away, leading to the first run of the YH comeback. Several well-placed hits and another infield error brought the Hanks even with only one out and the winning run on second base. Paul got the next batter to fly out, bringing up the ejected player spot in the Hanks lineup. That automatic out, ended the inning and forced a 10^th inning.

The 10^th inning started off nicely with a double plating the “automatic” runner to give BSBD the lead. Again, the bats went cold and the one run was all they could get. The Hanks’ bats that were hot in the 8^th inning stayed hot. They plated their 2^nd run of the inning with only one out. The Young Hanks went on to lose the Championship game in the dark while BSBD was able to enjoy their beer and brownies while thinking about what could have been.

The Shiner Bock player of the game goes to Scott Harrison! Scott missed the first 8 games of the season. He popped up in his first at bat of his season and, unofficially, has a hit in every at bat since. Combining his hot bat with the cold beer Scott brought on a night with a very thirsty ball club and he rises straight to the top of most noteworthy Deadlies. Great game and playoff run, Scott!

Let's Play Two!

The goal was to NOT play two games this week. I also had a goal at the start of the year to not buy my lunch two times a week and to never drink two nights a week. Sometimes things are just better in twos. Just ask my twins!

The second game of the week can’t go worse than the first game. Game 1 started off with a dropped fly ball by Greggy O and was followed up with horrible throw by Big Sexy. Those two plays led to two T-Sox runs scored without getting a hit. That sure wasn’t better in twos. It also led to a game full of bad defense and maddeningly inconsistent offense.

The T-Sox were the first victim of this long BSBD winning streak and they would be the ones to end it. The 12-7 game was sloppy from both teams. The T-Sox were just a little better this time. Or maybe just a little less worse. The game ended appropriately with Mike hitting an easy ground ball that resulted in two outs.

The Shiner Bock Award this week goes to the Shiner Bock Trophy creator! John Ahern constructed a beautiful gold trophy consisting of wine corks, bottle caps and, of course, an empty Shiner Bock can. It is glorious!! I am honored that John took the time and the creativity to produce art in the name of Be Silent Be Deadly.

It is those types of events that turn a group of guys playing softball in a park into something closer to a family. Whether we win game two of this double header or not, we have many things to give us a warm feeling about this team. Sara making wonderful treats for us to share, the increasing number of fans in the stands (I almost feel bad about called them the Women of BS, but I not enough to rescind the name), and the overall attitude of the guys on the field. When I look at this team, all I see is a big win. Let’s go out an keep this season alive and play two games next week!

Guest Blogger Weighs In, Breaks Scale

Sadly, the Big Sexy had to miss the first round of the playoffs to tend to the end of the little league season. But don't fret, Paul Friedrich had your back! He knows that such a literate and well read bunch, needs to have a weekly dose of Be Silent prose. I am happy to say he did an excellent job! Below is Paul's recap of the thrilling 2-1 win last week...

As Yogi Berra has said, “It’s not over until it’s over!”  Such was the case last night as BSBD took on the Longshots in a rematch of the season opener. In the last inning and facing what should have been the last batter, our elderly yet still productive pitcher Paul decided to make the situation much more difficult as he produce the only error of a truly defensive masterpiece.  After fielding a ball hit right to him by our obliging opponent’s bat, he threw a “dead fish” to Robbie at Short in an ignorant attempt to force a runner at second base.  What was he thinking?  He could have easily tossed an underhanded “

cold beer” to Mr. Dodge at first base.  Now he has put the winning run on first base.  However, to prevent a team “tar and feathering” incident and banishment from the overflowing supply of beer that newcomer Kyle dutifully brought (using the formula that Rob and Bob instructed him with), Paul calmly gets the ensuing batter to fly out to end the game.  Whew!  A 38 minute 2-1 victory became a satisfying feat that keeps the win streak alive.

    

The defensive performance of the BSBD infield of Brett, Mark, Robbie and John rivaled that of any Arden Park team past or present (at least in the last 28 years). This fearless fielding foursome completed two double plays and at least 12 ground ball outs without a miscue.  We may have to move Maves to pitcher.  I know he can throw darts to second base.  Our makeshift outfield of Scott, newcomer Brett, Kyle and old-timer Rob failed to allow the opposing team an extra base hit.   What else can you ask for?  Take note Trevor and Greg!  Even though we only scored two runs are hitting is improving.  Moving John into the cleanup position was beneficial as he produced both RBIs.   Take a second note Trevor and Greg! A few lucky catches, especially the ice cream cone catch of Mark’s fly in the first inning, prevented us from breaking out.  The next game might produce a barrage of batsmen.  Even the switch hitting pitcher who cannot throw seems to be finding comfort on the politically correct side of the plate.  The TSOX are in for a tough one.  

Be Silent Quietly Extends Win Streak to 3

Not all softball games are exciting. There are some that are so remarkable that you sit back, years down the road, and reminisce about the time the team rallied from a huge deficit in the last inning to win the big game or the time your buddy threw a ball from shortstop and hit the runner at third base right in the nards. As I relaxed with the boys, sipping one or three Coors Lights, I had a hard time remembering how we even scored in this game. There were hits scattered here and there, but BSBD were only able to plate runners in one inning, when they put up a 5 spot.

The big hit that inning was Mark Enos crushing a triple over the head of the right-centerfielder with the bases loaded. Unfortunately, the Big Sexy, batting in front of Mark, turned that triple into a double by shutting down the engines at third base. Mark’s unfulfilled legs tried to achieve their true outcome by attempting to score from second on an infield error. If he was out by a foot, he was out by 20 feet. (ed note: it was 20 feet).

Thankfully, that was all of the runs BSBD would need to finish with a 5-2 victory. Paul was automatic on the mound, as usual. The defense was stellar as well, led by B Diddy making multiple scoops at first base, Robbie making plays he shouldn’t at short and Mark pivoting one (should have been two, Blue!) double play at second. Hard to forget Bob stretching to the very extent of his flexibility at second base to pick up a ball Mike rolled Bocce-style from his stomach at third.  Unquestionably, the defensive highlight was Young Kyle’s diving catch in centerfield with runners in scoring position. That was remarkable!

The Smirnoff Ice, ice-hole of the game goes to Mike’s right arm. WTF, arm??? Then, as I was deciding if I was more like Steve Sax, Chuck Knoblach, or a real life panda, I was too distracted to even field grounders. You suck arm.

It was a little disappointing to see that the Wonderful Women of Be Silent Be Deadly (heretofore known simply as the Women of BS) were down to a single member this week on such a beautiful Spring night in the park. I don’t even think Nicole saw Young Kyle’s diving catch as her boredom level of the game persuaded her to picking this as a good time to look for a new lock screen for her phone.

The Shiner Bock player of the week was tough to pin down this week as I really had a hard time remembering anything anyone did at the plate. We have all the people mentioned in the fielding paragraph above as likely candidates. Sadly, I do remember what Brett did at the plate. That brings it down to Young Kyle and Mark. Both were very deserving in their own right.

But as I think back about the game, what brought me the most joy was meeting Art Zanze after the game. His enthusiasm and pure pleasure to meet all of Walt’s teammates was wonderful. It is easy to see where Walt gets his happy demeanor and people skills. Art is a treasure and I am happy to have met him. There is something about paternal love that is very special to me. I know that those of you who are fathers or have lost your father or both know where I’m coming from. I would love for my dad to still be around to come out to see me play one more time. Art, this Shiner Bock is for you. I hope there are many more for you in life’s ice chest.

Be Silent Moves to 2 and 0

Since the passing of my childhood softball team, the Bad Gnus, I have long anticipated the time that a former Gnu will line up against me on the field. It is my hope that eventually each team in the league will feature Bad Gnus. Howard will be running like a gazelle in left field for the Silver Bullets. Pete will be crushing balls over the centerfielder for the T Sox. Erik will be placing basehits for the Long Islanders. Greg will be pitching for the Hanks. John Wiesy will be running through third base coach stop signs for Don’t Panic.

Therefore, I was very excited that my good friend, Teddy Ballgame, was leading off for this week’s opponent, the Silver Bullets. Despite the boring grey shirt, he looked just like his former Gnu self. Swinging at the first pitch, no matter its location, and drilling it into left field for a base hit. Ted is my musical kindred spirit and a guy I never get to spend enough time with. Not seeing him on a weekly basis is the kind of thing that makes cry myself to sleep on Monday nights in the Summer on my big, softball-shaped pilla.

Thankfully, the Bullets had only one former Gnu on their side and aside from that strong, red-headed kid who kept hitting triples, the Bullets were relatively easy to dodge. On the BSBD side, their former Gnu had enough mojo to keep his personal undefeated season alive. Mike’s last career triple was stroked down the left field line (natch!) in the first. Three bases at a time for Big Sexy has been frowned upon by his doctor, wife and knees. 

That hit was surrounded by all manners of hits. All but one BSBD player had a hit in the first inning, resulting in 11 runs. Hard to remember who it was that hit into that odd pop-up, ground-ball double play. No matter, I don’t recall ever being up 11 in the first in a softball game. Oh, I’ve SEEN 11 runs put up in a first inning. Let’s just say it is much more fun watching that from the dugout then from third base.

After that first inning, the game was kind of a snooze-fest. Some balls were hit to fielders. Others were hit where fielders weren’t. It doesn’t deserve the time spend reading this paragraph.

The Smirnoff Ice, Ice-Hole of the game goes to Mother Nature. What was up with the pounding rainstorm while I was trying to enjoy the best part of beer league softball, the beer? I thought the clouds were kinda cool during the game and the reduced temperatures were nice after last week. But what kind of mythical creature would think a Floridian downpour in May at beer:thirty is acceptable? Bad form, Mo Natty. Bad form.

It is difficult to pin down a Shiner Bock player of the game this week. Everyone got in on the action and I can’t remember too many excellent defensive plays that were required. Paul pitched very well in the wind and got a hit or two, but he got credit for Rob’s hit in last week’s write up, so that has to weigh him down a little. Scotty Mac drilled a ball for a ground rule double by the old firehouse and had a hit during the big rally. I hate that local ground rule double rule. I think B Diddy could get at least a triple if he put one out there. Unfortunately, Scott can’t win this week because to get it two straight weeks, you have to top the previous week. Hey, I don’t make up the rules... Well, yes I do, but that’s the rules. Sarah Mac brought goodies again and cheerily sat through in climate weather rooting on the good guys. Sorry, see above. Plus, I was so thrown off by the rain I never even got to personally sample the treats. I didn’t get introduced to the other loyal fans, but I believe  they were with Rob, Robbie and Kyle. 

Robbie was excellent at short and had a hit or two. Combine that with bringing a loyal fan and this week’s Shiner Bock goes to Robbie! Way to go, Robbie!

Be Silent Be Deadly Be Winners

This was the first game of the rest of Big Sexy’s life. His first “official” game with his new team after the Bad Gnus declared (moral) bankruptcy. His whole world felt kinda weird. Though he had played with this wonderful group of guys before, under some of their previous naming incarnations (Ahern Construction, Last Call, Off Regularly, B Diddy and the Funky Bunch),  this was different. Warming up with Rob, who was wearing his grey Ahern shirt while Big Sexy was wearing his own black t-shirt was so much less colorful than the last time he warmed up with Erik before the last Bad Gnus game. There wasn’t any blue/purple/green tie dye to brighten up the already sunny evening. Though this team is full of current and future friends, this wasn’t the same band of brothers that have played together since he had a full head of hair and had a history of winning and losing to each team at Arden Park in every way possible.

The wind was strongly blowing toward the tennis courts on a warm Spring evening as BSBD warmed up, counted heads and scanned the parking lot. Whether that ocular search was for the 10^th player to arrive or to see what scrumptious post game treat lovely Sarah would bring was completely up to the individual. The opposing team was salivating thinking of all of the tree-shots they would smash deep into left field, while Big Sexy was salivating after hearing rumors of chocolate-peanut butter rice crispy treats.

When word game from Greggy O that Mike would take his usual position at third base, he was understandably a little nervous. Not seeing a ground ball in 9 months and with his balky knee and undiagnosed shingles causing enough pain over the last two months to make him consult his drivers license to see if he could get a discount at the movies, had lowered the confidence a tad.

After a relatively quiet top of the first, BSBD they took the field against one of the top teams in all of Arden Park. The T Sox have evolved from “Greg Young’s Team” that hangs out with the Bad Gnus around the middle of the standings table, to an annual powerhouse through the continual acquisition of softball talent. Chief among those acquisitions is third baseman and clean-up hitter Kirby, whose powerful left handed swing used to be a mainstay of the Ahern crew.

The first batter for the T Sox is their powerfully built left fielder. Dude looks like he picked his softball fashion after watching Win Financial a couple years back, but he does appear to be an excellent player. On the first pitch, he knocked all of the nervousness out of Big Sexy by drilling a one hopper that needed to be fielded to protect the ever-lower hanging plums. Thankfully, the glove still worked. That led to a quick 1-2-3 inning.

Paul, after flipping a coin to decide which side of the plate to stand, knocked in the first RBI of the game by placing a nice single into center field to plate Mike with the first run of the game. Paul would later come around to score and stake BSBD to a 2-0 lead that would hold up for the first 3 innings. The desperation then started to sink in for the heavily favored T Sox. They picked up GT to fortify their outfield after playing with only 3 outfielders to begin the game. There were grumblings that this mid-game pick-up made not to avoid a forfeit was a breach of beer league softball etiquette.

In the 4^th inning, the T Sox finally solved Paul and the excellent BSBD defense and plated 3 runs to take a 3-2 lead. This low scoring game was surely to be decided by a timely hit and defense. In the top of the 5^th, that timely hit came. Scotty Mac drilled a ball into the jet stream and watched it nearly end up at the fence line next to the basketball court, a quarter of a mile from home plate. The hits kept coming.  Greggy O drilled a ball to center that the center fielder couldn't catch up to for an extra base hit. Young Kyle reached the basketball court, nearly on a fly.

However, the spectacular BSBD defense was the key to this game. Robbie covers more ground at short than cat fur in a hoarders living room. Mark is a shortstop who happens to be playing second base. Big Sexy didn't screw anything up. B Diddy made several nice plays at first and the outfield hauled in everything hit in the air. There were no less than three double plays turned including a third to first to home number that required a lightening turn by B Diddy and a great dig by Rob. The last DP was a beautiful Enos to Ahern to Chance number over the top.

All of that awesomeness culminated in a 7-4 victory. There will be many more victory beers to be enjoyed this season if this team plays that well each week. Coors Light tastes much better in victory. Seems more like a punishment after a loss.

A new team brings a new sponsor the player of the game award. The Shiner Bock player of the game easily goes to the McMurray family. Not only did Scott play flawlessly in the field and had the games biggest hit. He brought beer AND Coors Light for the team to enjoy afterward. However, he needs to share the honor with Sarah, not just because she bought treats that only Don’t Panic would enjoy more than we did, but she was very vocal and supportive to the whole team, even those she had never met before. Way go Scott and Sarah. This Shiner Bock is for you!