Happy New Year Indoor Softball

The return of the Bad Gnus Social Society is upon us!! We are several months late in putting together a get-together. I blame myself. I've been chomping at the bit to drill a ball 10 feet foul and throw a ball over the first baseman's head since my last softball game way back in July. I can't wait to see if I've still got it.

That's right, it's the return of indoor softball! Those of you that have joined us before know that it is a fun, fast-paced time that makes sure you deserve that post-game refreshment. Those who haven't, have probably heard the rest of us weave tales of Keith's home runs into the square, Pete's singles behind the catcher and Jim's snapped achilles.

Here's the deets - Monday, January 10. 6:15 to 8:00. We might be able to sneak a few extra minutes out them, but many of you will either be anxious to get to the postgame spread or to the emergency room by then. The cost will be $15 per person. That will likely cover the first several pitchers of tasty brew or refreshing soda, depending on your particular tastes and/or New Year's Resolutions. Location is 8288 Industrial Ave. Roseville, CA 95678. Here's the link to their website for kicks. http://www.arenasoftball.com/

I'm guessing there will be post game activities. I'm open to suggestions. The BCS Championship is that night. Bowl games usually last 4 1/2 hours, so I expect we will be done in time to watch the fourth quarter.

While I'm linking, and just in time for last minute Christmas shopping, check out the Big Sexy Top 20 Songs of 2010. Coming soon will be the top albums, top ocular entertainment and the big daddy of them all, top beers. http://bigsexyreviews.blogspot.com/

Here's what you need to do.

1. Secure Hall Pass for January 10.

2. Find a car pool.

3. Bring $15 and your medical insurance card.

4. Stretch!!

For now, have a wonderful Christmas and New Year's! Be sure to slow down and appreciate all that you have in your life.

It's Already Over???

The Bad Gnus season ended on the hottest night of the year with a disappointing loss. The Gnus did win (or tie) 6 of the 7 innings during the game. If it wasn't for the Tea Bags going on a 10 run "Gnu inning" to turn a 7-2 Bad Gnus lead into a 12-7 deficit, the Bad Gnus would have finished the season with a strong two game winning streak.

Allow me to back up a minute here. I missed it, but last week, with only 6 Gnus and 3 young kids from another team, the Bad Gnus took down the almighty Hanks!!! I knew it could happen. I wish I would've been there to see it. (Side note - when did "young kids" start referring to 20 year olds and not 5 year olds?) I know... your first reaction is probably that the 3 young kids carried the Gnus. I know it crossed my cynical mind. However, witnesses from the front line report that they were the 3 worst players on the Gnus. I thought the report was pushing the envelope of credibility when I also heard that Clayton was 4 for 5. But after watching Clayton stroke the ball last night, I can believe it. Quiz is on fire! Just in time for indoor softball season.

Back to last night. It is tough watching the Gnus from the sideline every week. The Newcastle did make it a little easier (thanks Erik!) but I still wish I was out there battling it out with the guys in tye dye. The 10 run inning was tough to watch, but as the Bad Gnus biggest fan, the turning point of the game was the third inning. The Gnus loaded the bases with no one out. Jim tried to lay down the squeeze bunt but Erik didn't see the sign and didn't break from third until it was hit. Then a very unfortunate play as Kirk hit a soft liner to third that bounced in front of the third baseman. The Bagger tagged Greg T coming to third and somehow threw out Greg B at home for the inning ending double play. That inning sent me scrambling for the ice chest.

I can't leave my end of the season remarks with a dud. Let's think back to all of the great plays of the night. Greg T and Erik were constantly smoking the ball. The infield was turning and almost turning all sorts of double plays. Stu got the ball back to infield with a minimum number of bounces. In fact, the defense looked solid. I hardly remember any misplays.

Last night culminated in the first annual Bad Gnus season ending BBQ. The event was a hit. Big thank you to Arden Park for providing the facility and all of you Gnus that brought the goods. It was a great way to end a another excellent year of Bad Gnus softball.

Since I didn't take pictures last night, this is a good time to post my Gnus around the world pictures! Please send yours in from your summer travels. The ocean picture is from Costa Rica. Mrs. Sexy likes this picture for some reason.

Now that the regular season is over, it will be time to dust off the the Bad Gnus Social Society - Studs with Suds. Let me know if you would like to host an event. I am tentatively planning a night at the harness races on October 7th. There may even be a visit from my favorite horse... http://badgnus.blogspot.com/2008/10/message-from-racehorse.html

Ahern Sneaks Past Bad Gnus

Using a top player from both of the top teams in the league, Hanks and T-Sox, Ahern got a couple of key hits in the first inning and held on for a victory over the beloved Bad Gnus. The win by Ahern evens the season series at one game each. An independent moderator has concluded that since the Bad Gnus used only roster players in both games, that they are the winner of the 2010 B Diddy trophy (The D Cup) for the first time. Congratulations, Bad Gnus!

Bad Gnus Will Continue to Beat Off Regularly *

There may be some Arden Park Softball pundits out there that think the Bad Gnus thorough drubbing of Off Regulary/Ahern/Upper Deckers in the Spring Season was a bit of luck. A blind pig finding a nut. That it was better to be lucky than good. That socialism is killing America. Ok, that is a different kind of pundit, but all of those pundits are equally insane. Especially Glenn Beck. I mean who watches that asshole? From the demographics, I assume several of the Hanks. But I digress. Thinking about Fox News makes me want to kick someone in the nards.


Back to the topic at hand. Not a lot of people put much notice in our one-sided beatdown of the formally formidable Ahern clan back in May. In fact, when the standings came out, we were shorted a win. When I called Lisa to complain, I was told our losses included a loss to Last Call. I first had to try to figure out who the heck she was talking about. Then I had to correct her and force her to apologize for her grievous mistake. I am still awaiting the written apology.


Those who witnessed the pounding on that fair Tuesday evening, know that Walt won't take the extra base anymore. That Mark was not there. That Scott and Greg cannot hit it past the gazelle-like grace of Howard. That Eddie was not there. That B Diddy likes him a 6-4-3 ground ball. That Robbie was not there. That Bob can only hit it to right. Further they saw the shine of a new dawning of Arden Park mediocrity. Fly balls no longer are dropped in the Bad Gnus outfield. First basemen wearing the tye dye now catch a thrown ball. Fly balls hit to left are now hit a little shorter and are base hits.


That night was not a flash in the pan but a big bang that created a new world in Arden Park softball. We have climbed from the sea and are now walking tall amongst the gorillas (Balco Bombers) and bears (Beach hut's pitcher) that roam the softball landscape. We are no longer just the coolest guys with the hottest chicks and coldest (and best) ice chest. We are now amongst the softball elite of Arden Park and need to carry ourselves as such.


The Summer Season has not started off the way we would like it to. Our attendance has been spotty due to luxury vacations and extended baseball seasons. This week's game against Ahern is just what is needed to right the ship and put us back on the path of our destiny of greatness. Answer that knock at the door, Bad Gnu. It is the opportunity to prove our worth, to quiet the pundits and to set a trend of future trouncings that will continue through the decade.


When you take the field on a warm Tuesday night, know that a Bad Gnus legacy is being forged. That the Bad Gnus will be the best team on that field. But most of all, know that I'm bringing an ice chest full of frosties, so win or lose, we win! See you out there.



* Note: This post is a milking of our first of what I hope to be many victories by the Bad Gnus over Ahern. Just in case I am unable to continue claiming victory in this rivalry, I figured I'd get one more shot across the bow.

2010 Summer Series

Fresh off the most successful spring training in recent Bad Gnus history, the Summer Series is already upon us. This is always the best time to play softball. Warm nights, cool friends and cold beers all mingling at the park while the kids play and the birds sing. Good times. Don't miss it!

There are now 11 teams in the league and we get to play all of them once. There may also be an end of the season tournament! That would be sweet. The bad news is that they are trying to squeeze 3 games in per night. Be on the lookout for the bonus week in which we play on both Monday and Tuesday.

Here is the schedule for the summer. Unfortunately, we have already played two of these games with horrific results. Most dissappointing is the scrambling of players that has been needed. I expect that to be past us now.

Monday 6/28 6:30 vs. Silver Bullets

There was no umpire, no scorekeeper and very few Gnus. We lost 11ish to 3ish playing with squishy balls and Matt Shelton umpiring in his flip flops while drinking a Silver Bullet. It felt a bit like a picnic game. We played a bit like Yogi Bears.

Tuesday 7/06 5:30 vs. T-Sox

The Big Sexy pitched. Teen Sexy played his second straight game. Twin Sexies played their first beer league softball game. That's just too much Sexy for one game against a team as serious as the T-Sox. Did you check out their new lids? Tres Cool.

Tuesday 7/13 5:30 vs. B Diddy and the Funky Bunch

Here is the big game on the schedule. The Big Sexy's phone hasn't rung to fill in on their team since the Spring Season's infamous beatdown. That's not a coincidence. Ahern's team was stung a bit by the Bad Gnus' dominance. This is a great game to get the band back together and take them down again. We're on a mission from gawd.

Monday 7/19 6:30 vs. Balco Bangers

This team clearly was off-cycle from their horse steroids in the Spring Season. Take out the inflated muscles from these bros and you really have some low talented, small brained softball players. This game is a must see to watch a bro ice a bro after the game. Please let it happen!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0d0f25c7f3/broz-icing-bros-icing-bros

Tuesday 7/20 7:30 vs. Don't Panic

Second game of a back-to-back. We should be going for a sweep here. Don't Panic will have the munchies for a win over the only team they have ever beaten. Don't let lightning strike twice!

Monday 7/26 7:30 vs. Beach Hut

I will not be here to see which team shows up for Beach Hut: the athletic boyfriends of the sandwich makers or the dorky boyfriends of the sandwich makers. Last year, it was hip to be a nerd. Clearly this year, notsomuch. Maybe next year old, slow and fat will be hip.

Monday 8/02 5:30 vs. The Young Guns

New team alert. I expect from their name they are young and they don't know how to spell Gnus.

Tuesday 8/10 7:30 vs. The Long Islanders

This team has been around for as long as I land remember. (That's bad, I'm sorry) But I don't have any lasting memories of them. They are nice enough guys that are about as good as we are. We might crush them. They might smoke us. We might tie. Who knows? I probably won't remember it anyway. Be there to find out. Maybe take some pictures so we can remember them next year.

Tuesday 8/17 6:15 vs. Hanks

Note the subtle time change. We are going to beat the Hanks some year. Although, they did not lose a game in the Spring Season, why can't it be this year? Beside that last thing I said. And the other thing I implied. And the other couple things I thought. Forget that, it's on! Some one bring the Henry Weinhardts!

Tuesday 8/24 5:15 vs. Ice Bags

Seriously, Arden Park and Rec, some of us have jobs. 5:15 is egregious. But so was our last game against the Ice Bags. We were 5-2. Feeling on top of the world. We were playing a new team that had 1 win all year and it was against the Panic boys. Ugh! The dreaded Bad Gnus trap game! Every year we lose a game we have no business losing and win a game we have no business winning. That one was the loss one. We have a score to settle. It's our last game of the season and a chance for retribution. We will go out winners. We will go out with our heads held high. We will hang out in the park after the game and reminicse about all our great plays. But mostly we will gather knowing that this group of friends and family have represented the Bad Gnus colors with valor and brought further glory to our illustrious history.

Bad Gnus Continue Their Ascent

Wow. I don't know what to say. It's been years and years of chasing my white whales (I'm not calling the Ahern team fat, it's a literary reference. Sure, maybe a guy or two might need to realize that just because it's light beer and tastes like water, 10 Coors Lights is still 700 empty calories. But the Bad Gnus are not calling any pots black.) I feel a little like Inigo Montoya after he defeats the man with 6 fingers. I'm just not sure where to go from here.

Champagne has been running from all the faucets at Bad Gnus World Headquarters for two straight days. It's really been giving my hair a noticeable glean. I've been awoken by Queen's celebratory anthem all week. The birds' songs each day are a little nicer... the sunsets have been more dramatically beautiful... the guacamole on my burrito a little spicier... The world is just a better place now that the dragon has been slain.

How will the Bad Gnus move forward against Don't Panic this Tuesday at 7:00? You know those guys will be stumbling out of their smokey Scooby van at 6:50 all fired up to beat the only team they have taken down since medicinal marijuana was legalized.

Let's take a step back and bask in the glory that was Monday night. It was an unseasonably cold night for late May. That did not stop the requisite 10 to 15 future Gnus (Good Gnus!) from taking in their weekly whiffleball game, but it did surprisingly keep our hot wife number to a season low of 1.

The Bad Gnus wasted back to back hits to start the game as their 3-4-5 batters went down quietly. The second inning provided a second chance as the Gnus put together the first of their many two out rallies. Highlighted by The Howard's bases loaded triple to the firehouse parking lot, the Gnus took a 5-1 lead. Howard belted the ball all night. Pulling up on a possible double to end up only the double short of the cycle. He was hoping for a ground rule double to finish off the cycle. If he couldn't have it that way, he was content to wait until next week.

From there, the game was remarkably unremarkable. The Bad Gnus were up by 5 or 8 runs all game. Most the the Bad Gnus runs happened with two outs all night long. The Big Sexy wasted his at bats trying to rip B Diddy's head off and resulted in lazy fly balls. He was picked up by the lively bats up and down the order. Todd and Kevin both knocked the yellow off the ball all night and I believe every Bad Gnus had at least one hit.

The big story is the continued dominance of the lock down defense the Bad Gnus are displaying which is proving to be a hallmark of this 20th year of Bad Gnus softball. Once again, I cannot think of any errors. The defensive highlight of the game was provided by, who else, Newcastle Player of the Game, Howard Hughes. With the bases loaded and Ahern threatening to make a game of it, Howard made an excellent running catch of a drilled ball by Greg O'Connor. If that gets down, maybe the Bad Gnus don't coast home.

The final score: Bad Gnus 13 - Ahern/Upper Deckers/Off Regulary 7. Ahern scratched in 3 runs in the final frame to make the score appear closer than the game really was. I am hoping that this result will help Ahern switch to one of the Bad Gnus-approved names for their team. I'll be keeping my eye on the schedule for the summer league to look for the new name. Until then, I'll enjoy the glory of knowing the Bad Gnus destroyed Ahern, the Bad Gnus take the Upper Deckers and the Bad Gnus beat Off Regularly.

Rivalry Week !!

Coming this Monday - Bad Gnus v. Ahern. The Civil War of Arden Park. Brothers against brothers. One with a thirst for Coors Light. One with a thirst for real beer. One with a colorful 20 year tradition. One who likes to wear those boring grey Arden Park Champions shirts. Who ya got?




Fans

Bad Gnus - Sexiest women in town, tiltin' back brews, cheering on their men

Ahern - Rarely a fan in attendance

Kids

Bad Gnus - 10 - 15 kids running around playing whiffle ball, emulating their old men

Ahern - Likely home studying or helping around the house. Or playing shortstop.

Ice Chest

Bad Gnus - Sometimes ominously missing. But when there, filled with something special

Ahern - There every week, usually filled with cool refreshing Coors Light

Beertender

Bad Gnus - Overly enthusiastic 9 year old

Ahern - Self Service

Championship

Bad Gnus - There's a championship?

Ahern - Annually

Related Teammates

Bad Gnus - Big Sexy and G Money

Ahern - Bob and Robbie

Depending on your tastes, looks like a toss up. Many might say, "But Big Sexy, can a rivalry exist when one of the teams has never won?" Well, these teams share a special relationship. There are good friends across the teams and many players have helped out each team when in need. I always look forward to this game and the chance that we could actually win it. Let me tell you, this is the year!!

I played with Ahern last week against the Hanks. Now the Hanks have had their share of success with us over the years, but they are not getting any younger. (Sadly, neither are we.) The Bad Gnus are getting very close to taking the Hanks and it's going to happen one of these years. Well, the Hanks put a Hanky Spanky on the Aherns to the tune of 25-4. Now, perhaps my appearance at this game had a lot to do with this outcome. Ahern was missing several key performers. Most notably a pitcher. I'm not saying B Diddy can't pitch... No, that exactly what I am saying. B Diddy can't pitch. After 1, the score was 15-0 Hanks.

We have cultivated, watered and mostly fertilized the Aherns over the years. This is the year they are ripe for the picking! Make sure you are there when the Ahern harvest is finally realized. Game time is 7:00. Bring the kids, bring the wives, but most importantly, will someone please bring some beer!?!

Bad Gnus Put the Sleeves on the Meatheads

A wild day of 21st century, virtual player-whoring helped the Bad Gnus continue their torrid season start. A record 11 Gnus called in "sick" for the game this week. After a frantic emptying of the e-mail directory and the recision of "outs" from Greg and Howard, their were 11 players for the Gnus at game time. Unfortunately, the Balco Bombers/WIN Financial had only 7 players. Greg volunteered to pitch for the meatheads while a variety of players took turns catching for them.

Crazy, but Howard reported that one of the bros told him that they have a lot of little league issues this time of year. Normally, I'd be able to completely relate and sympathize. But I have a hard time believing any of these lug-heads see there kids any more frequently than every other weekend. Check out the liberal visitation these guys are getting! I suppose there is not a day care facility next Showgirls for their baby mamas to use.

Here are a few of the Bombers relaxing after the game at Park Ultra Lounge. Actually, the Bombers were a little more reserved than usual. These guys must of been busy coaching up those boys. "Stone, you better get yo' cleats up when you are sliding it to second! No pussy son of mine's going to avoid a tag."

We ended up with three Rex Davises (Davi?) who all contributed very well. None as well as Rex John Murphy who was 4 X 4 while holding down a solid first base. Doug pitched for the first time in 8 months and proved you don't need knee ligaments to throw strikes. Walked no one. Combine that with excellent defense and consistent hitting and you get a 17-5 Bad Gnus victory! That moves the Gnus to 3 and 1 on the season and on the brink of first place.

The Bad Gnus liked the flavor of Greg's pitches! There hasn't been something so tasty tossed underhand to me since the slow-motion, ice-cold Newcastle the Ahern boys tossed to me in thanks for picking up a game with them. The Gnus batted around in the first inning by drilling the ball all over the field. They started hot in the next inning until Teddy Ballgame scooped a ball at the plate. He can't stop himself from making spectacular digs.

The Big Sexy was a wizard with his glove. He was channeling his inner Brooks Robinson or at least his inner Eddie Shaldone. A new Arden Park (note: unofficial) record was made by the 12 outs by a third baseman Mike had a hand in. Don't expect that on a weekly basis..

In fact, the whole team is just straight picking the ball with the glove this year! I don't believe there were any errors for entire team. That has been a constant in the early season and clearly the reason for the early season success of the Bad Gnus.

Overall it was a great night of softball. There was a big crowd watching the game in beautiful weather. The Galliano family made their first visit to a Gnus game! Sadly, there was no beer!! WTF? There needs to be some kind of system set up. That's just poor team management right there.

Next up: Beach Hut. They are undefeated from what I hear. But they haven't played the best team in the league yet. Bring it on, sandwich slingers!

Spring Cleaning Clearing House

Here's a couple of topics that didn't get the recognition they deserve from the start of 2010. First, the first ever co-ed Bad Gnus Social Society event took place in January as a small showing of revelers took to the midtown streets (and bars) for the Second Saturday Art Walk/Pub Crawl. Fusing a variety of art with a variety of drinking establishments, art was appreciated; beer was consumed; fun was had. I expect a larger turnout when we try this again during shorts and t-shirt weather.

Here's a group shot at the end of the night scooting out of Rubicon Brewery and not going back to the gay bar Bill wanted to go to. That's a better stop without the ladies, Bill.

Next, here is some grainy video of Lil' Sexy hitting the stage for the second straight year at the Mariemont talent show. I may have put too much vaseline on the lens to soften the boy's face. It's really more of an audio file at this point. I don't even have any pictures of his performance. I suck. Anyway, this year Maximum was the M.C. for the whole show. The kid might be afraid of birthday clowns, but he has no fear on the stage. Well, maybe if one of the acts involved clowns. He did great all night and during the assembly in front of the whole school during the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_5cemZ1l9M

Now the Bad Gnus are ready to hit the season full throttle. The season lurched off to a great start with an opening game win and no forfeits during this little season. Here are the cutest twins in the world showing off thier modeling talents, wearing the 20th anniversary Bad Gnus shirt. We'll be selling these online just as soon as demand exists. I'll be waiting.

I expected that going into this week's game, the Gnus would be a little rusty coming off a bye week and a rainout. I knew Clayton would be looking to run over the catcher at the plate. I knew knobody kneeded to have a strong game as much as Stu. I knew new Gnu (first ever internet usage of three consecutive synonyms at the start of a sentence!) Greg T would shine in his second game. I had hoped someone would bring beer. (Thanks, John!)

What I didn't know was that the Bad Gnus defense would be so sharp! Limiting the Long Islanders to 3 runs in 7 innings, the Bad Gnus took home a relatively easy 9-3 victory. Good thing the defense played so solidly as the Gnus left a ton of runners on base. On the positive side, the Gnus had a lot of runners.

Lots of good candidates for Newcastle player of the game. Erik was smacking the ball all over the place. Greg T played another excellent game at first and at bat. Greg B pitched well and got a couple more hits. But the award this week goes to the Big Sexy. He got the new shirts, a few hits and made about 10 outs in the field. Yay me!

Spring Season Schedule

Here is the listing of opportunities for you weekend warriors to get early week glory at the park. The following are the dates and times of the Spring League for your FIRST PLACE Bad Gnus.

Mon 3/29 6:30 vs. Silver Bullets (Won 14-8!)

Mon 4/05 6:30 vs. T-Sox (Defending champs)

Mon 4/12 6:45 vs. Hanks (This is the year we get them)

Mon 4/19 BYE (Come watch some Blue Jays baseball at Valley Oak)

Mon 4/26 6:00 vs. The Long Islanders (That's so 80's)

Tue 5/04 6:00 vs. Balco Bombers (he he he)

Tue 5/11 7:00 vs. Beach Hut (There are no male employees there)

Tue 5/18 BYE (More BJ's at Valley Oak)

Mon 5/24 7:00 vs. Ahern (Circle the calendar)

Mon 5/31 Memorial Day (BBQ at Seanny Mac's!)

Tue 6/01 7:00 vs. Don't Panic (They have their calendars circled)

Mon 6/07 BYE (I'm pretty tired of Bye weeks now)

Mon 6/14 7:00 vs. Ice Bags (If they merge with the T-Sox, they'll be the T-Bags)

That's it. By the end of the season school will be out, I'll be a golden tan color, the Gnus will have their first ever championship and the commercial real estate market will have made a remarkable turnaround. Let's make at least one of those things happen!

Silver Bullets Go Down. Smoothly.

It's been a long time since the Bad Gnus have been in first place this late into the season. We will have to see how long we can keep this hot streak going. The Gnus woke up after 3 innings to put a 14-8 beat down on the Silver Bullets on a grey and windy night in Arden Park. Since so many of the regular Gnus missed this one, I'll try to sum up what happened. Well, I guess when it gets boiled down, it was that so many regular Gnus missed this one.

The first thing I heard when I arrived at the park was Silver Bullet Scott Lippi wanting a comment posted on this blog. He said "Tell Howard he's as big a pussy as he has been since the fourth grade. And you can print that". While not disputing the issue, I pressed Scott for the reason he would defame a first-ballot Bad Gnus Hall-of-Famer as soon as I hopped off my bike. Scott informed me that Howard was missing the opening of this 20th year of Bad Gnus softball because he had an ear infection. To be fair, I remember when my kids used to get ear infections. They seemed incredibly painful. I'm so glad that my kids have outgrown them. Get well soon, Howie.

The Gnus started off slowly and with only 9 players. (This is where we'll call out The Stuart for RSVP'ing and blowing us off.) Much respect to Ahern coach Greg O'Connor, who I called while I was playing third base during the first inning to come join us to be the 10th. He was at the field, ready to go in less than 5 minutes. Not only did he stop what he was doing to join the Gnus on a cold night, but he shined. He played a solid outfield and I don't remember him making an out at the plate.

Clearly the Big Sexy was struggling a bit early. Trying to be extra heads up, he went all the way to third after an overthrow to first. Somehow, he missed second on the way and both the second baseman and the umpire noticed it. I thought I actually tripped over it, but it must've just been the dirt. That was, of course, followed by a couple of Bad Gnus hits that would've scored him in a scoreless game. The game would remain scoreless, until the Big Error Five gave the Silver Bullets a few extra outs in the third inning. The Bullets would put a 5 spot on the board to lead 5-0 after 3.

It was bad enough that I knew I wasn't fielding well and that Mrs. Sexy reminded me from 100 feet away that, well let's just say she said that I've done better previously. But I also had to hear the heckling of 9 year old Iron Mike Thiesen, who I coach on the minor Blue Jays. I don't remember his exact words. To paraphrase: "how can you teach us how to play baseball when you play like you've never even seen a game. That is the last time I am listening to you. If I don't pitch and bat leadoff next game, I'm showing the whole team the pictures". I'm pretty sure he didn't have enough zoom on that camera. I'll just say that it was Moebs throwing the ball into centerfield.

With no offense and some shaky fielding, this looked like it would go down as most early season Bad Gnus games go. But the 2010 version of the Bad Gnus, along with 4 subs, were not going down the beaten path! They chipped away with a few runs in 4th to set up the Bad Gnus Inning (tm). The Bad Gnus batted around and then some, putting up 9 runs in the 5th to go up 12-5. With the sun setting behind the clouds, it looked as if the Gnus would only have to shut them down just one time. Effecient defense, even by the Big Sexy, pushed the game to the 7th inning, where both teams put up a couple of meaningless runs.

Newcastle player of the game could go a lot of different places this game! Erik Grotte paid his $35 league fee to me prior to the game. Don't be shy, the rest of you! The Big Sexy brought beer and had three solid hits, but the wicked fielding and baserunning surely outweighs even the frosty Pyramids. Rex Davis! Rex has rarely failed in his 20 years on the Gnus. This night, the role of Rex Davis was played for John C's neighbor's nephew, Kyle. (How is that for digging up players on game day!) Kyle is in his 20's and clearly plays a little softball from time to time. Poor coaching stuck him at catcher all game, where he never complained. My memory may be a little sketchy, but I think Kyle may have hit for the cycle! New Bad Gnus first alternate, Greg Thiesen played an excellent game. First off, playing first base, he lept in the air to snag a line drive. It's been many years since any of our first baseman was airborne that didn't involve tripping over the base. It was a beautiful play. Then, he ended the Bad Gnus Inning (tm) by drilling a triple over the right fielder and being thrown out at home by 10 feet. He's already running the bases like an old time Gnu! Also, in a show of solidary, he missed second base on his trip around the bases just to make me feel better. Greg was a solid candidate this game. However, it's always tough to give the Newcastle to a new Gnu.

The Newcastle player of the game is Greg Blom. Greg pitched like he never missed a game. Walking only one batter after not throwing a softball since August is amazing. How's that for muscle memory! Add to that several hard hits that he put by the third baseman. (I'm starting to think he is much more of a dead pull hitter that I am.) Excellent game by Greg. Maybe Newcastle will brew a gluten-free brew for you soon. I will accept the frosty beverage in his honor.

You will all be hearing soon about the new 20th anniversary edition of the Bad Gnus shirt. Stay tuned! Also, the schedule will be up soon. Next game is Monday, April 5 at 6:30. See you then.

Opening Day 2010!

Just picked up the season schedule. As soon as my finger touched the tangled table of tantalizing tussles, I was told that a new schedule is being created and it will be sent to me. Why not send it to me in the first place? Don't they know that to drive allllll the way down La Sierra, carefully planning to attend the mandatory meeting after any meeting actual happens but before the doors are locked conflicts with my busy Spring schedule?

I was told the first week won't change, so I do know the time and date of that. But telling you now before you read the rest of what's on my mind would defeat the purpose of the mandatory reading. Good luck timing the ending...

Here are some fun things I did find out. Arden Park is going to continue to use a 6 - 12 foot pitch range. Seemed pretty basic to me, but apparently the new ASA rule is 6 -10 feet. Dang! I wish we were using that. Then the Hanks 14 foot pitches might actually be called illegal. (Did I actually discuss softball rules on this blog??) I have three comments about what I know about the schedule.

1-There are 10 teams including all of usual suspects. Ahern is still using my least favorite name in the league. This creates 3 bye weeks =o( . But does make the season last until June 14. =0) That seems like forever from now!

B-We will play all of the teams in the league and the games will be on both Mondays and Tuesdays. Don't know what that will do for attendance. I wasn't expecting that. Aside from the scheduling difficulties, I really like being able to play all the teams. When I have the schedule released, hopefully you will be able tell me what games you can make.

III-WIN Financial is now the Balco Bangers. I knew WIN Financial couldn't possibly still be in business but I hoped that meant this garage full of tools would find another league. The more I thought about it, I'm glad they are here. Then I'd have to pick another team to anonymously slander on the world wide web. Balco Bangers is kind of a fun name for them. If there was "name-the-team" contest for that group, I'm sure I wouldn't have picked that first, but I might have actually picked it eventually for them. They are admitting to their not so hidden steriod use. I'm sure they like the double entendre' of the "Bangers" name. Although from what I understand about steriod use and their relationship to your walnut and sex drive, I would think the only thing they would be banging would be their head through the window of the latest bar that kicked them out.

Our first game is this Monday, March 29 at 6:30 against Silver Bullets. I'm fired up! I am officially the first to RSVP for opening day. Please let me know your plan ASAP. This season is bound to go down in history as one of our seasons. Actually, this may be the 20th season of Bad Gnus softball! I'll need a Gnu with a better memory to confirm that? Greg? Hell, he won't remember either? Kevin? Where the heck are you!?! Howard? He still looks the same as he did 20 years ago. He doesn't age, so he's not to be trusted. Rex Davis? Which one? I look forward to seeing you all.